Dear fair use consumer large-scale phony DVD mafia ringleader: we certainly don't hope you're using FedEx UK to ship around those counterfeit movies en masse to clients like an illegitimate Netflix or something. Why, you may ask? Good question. The Federation Against Copyright Theft (FACT) has begun employing two very special black labs for the express purpose of sniffing out pirated DVDs. If it sounds fantastical, think again. The two doggies who volunteered for the job, Lucky and Flo, have already begun sniffing out phony DVDs from packed parcels (the third, Hustle, quit to pursue an acting career as the vicious  barking dog in hip hop videos). Never mind the privacy implications for those mailing backup DVDs to themselves (like, when they're moving), this is all about nailing the more nefarious counterfeiting individuals who may soon have to find a better way to move their wares -- unless they just give up and put Lucky and Flow out of business. In which case can they come help sniff out our keys? We're like, totally late, really gotta go.

The Robotic Action Painter