Holy crap, Mossberg reviews toilet seat

It's a rare occurrence when we're more interested in a product's reviewer than the product itself, but when esteemed and influential tech journalist Walt Mossberg dropped his pants to get the scoop on a high-tech toilet seat, well, we knew there was some fun to be had. Unkie Walt (as he's affectionately known around here) and his trusty sidekick Katie decided to throw modesty to the wind and have Brondell's $800 Swash 800 electronic toilet seats installed in their respective homes; since the main draws of this product are its twin bidet-like spray wands (one for him and two for her), we couldn't help but picture the distinguished Mr. Mossberg enjoying the morning's Wall Street Journal while having his nether regions blasted with SuperSoaker-like jets of water -- a simultaneously amusing and disturbing image. The Swash 800 also features a heated seat and air drying feature that supposedly eliminates the need for toilet paper, but both Walt and Katie found that it was inefficient for completely, um, cleansing themselves after answering nature's call. Another downside to this model is that you need to hook it up to an electrical outlet, so unless you already have one conveniently placed behind the toilet (for your iPod dock / toilet paper dispenser, perhaps), you'll either have to get one installed or run an unsightly extension cord to the closest socket. In the end, toilets come across a lot like Mossberg himself: the old-fashioned ones just seem to do the job better.

[Via Slashdot]

[Silver @ Aug 24th 2006 11:37PM]

Wow, tech columnists are really getting bored waiting for Vista. Though ultimately I'll bet the toilet seat is a much more interesting product than Vista will be...

[shellshockxbox @ Aug 24th 2006 11:51PM]

wow cant wait for the toilet paper review

[cherak @ Aug 25th 2006 12:13AM]

Japan's Toto has had these for decades. They are called Washlettes. Quite popular with the ladies and old people.

[dougp @ Aug 25th 2006 12:39AM]

Sounds like your run of the mill Toto toilet seat to me. Nothing ground breaking.

[nikster @ Aug 25th 2006 12:44AM]

I used one in Tokyo - I must say it was very nice. Though I did have an odd moment where I was sitting there and the hot shower from below just would not stop. And... I couldn't really get up because then the whole bathroom would be sprayed. Japanese icons on the buttons were no help. I finally figured out that I had to push the shower button again to turn it off.

In general, I think Asia has toilets figured out much more than the west. After living here for a while I have gotten used to every toilet having a water spray, nothing fancy just a little shower you can use. After doing the business you get really clean. Much better than paper.

I mean, think about it - when you wash, do you take a shower or do you try to get yourself clean wiping yourself with lots of dry tissue? Imagine the latter would work very well? Same thing, really...

Western toilets suddenly seem barbaric.

[Intellectualdiot @ Aug 25th 2006 1:11AM]

And here I am wiping my ass the shmuck way. Oh how blind we Westerners are!

[PN @ Aug 25th 2006 2:43AM]

one time.

when i was little.

i pooped in a bidet.

then the poop slid infront of the nozzle thing.

then i tried to flush (via the handle).

poop went flying everywhere.

it was at some country club or something.

[Mini-Me @ Aug 25th 2006 2:46AM]

"poop went flying everywhere."
That made me laugh for some reason.

[David @ Aug 25th 2006 3:31AM]

The article link engadget posted requires a subscription, but Mossberg's stuff is all available for free on the WSJ site. Here's a direct link to the article: http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/08-24-2006/0004421458&EDATE=

[David @ Aug 25th 2006 3:32AM]

Oops. Wrong link. Here's the right one: http://ptech.wsj.com/archive/solution-20060823.html

[Sunny @ Aug 25th 2006 6:53AM]

I prefer to stick to my "bog-standard" toilet. ;)

[blah @ Aug 25th 2006 7:20AM]

What? No action shots? You know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words. It'd be really helpful to have a few pics of Mossberg's hairy, puckered asshole being blasted with jets of warm water, and then dried with pleasant, toasted warm air, to get a sense of just how effective - or not - this new toilet *really* is...

[Jeff Myers @ Aug 25th 2006 7:39AM]

My family and I were in Japan for Father's Day, and my wife promised to get me one of these as a present. I can't wait! (literally)

[Jeff @ Aug 25th 2006 7:49AM]

"In general, I think Asia has toilets figured out much more than the west."

I'll go further - I think they've got the whole bathroom thing in general figured out a lot more than we do.

In Japan, bathrooms are two separate rooms - the toilet and the shower and/or bath. (Technically, the "bathroom" is just for the bath.) This makes sense - why would you clean yourself in the same room where you crap? I saw a Mythbusters episode where they tested various things in western bathrooms and they found e.coli bscteria on everything, including toothbrushes. I remember Jamie saying "there's poo everywhere!" It wasn't enough to make you sick, but it's still both disgusting and unnecessary.

So they've got two separate rooms. Then, their showers are generally electronically controlled, so you can set the temperature precisely without dealing with annoying knobs that you have to keep adjusting to get the temperature exactly right. And that temperature setting stays constant, in my experience - there are no dips or anything if somebody flushes the toilet in the other room. Japanese showers seem to pretty much universally use handheld shower heads too - these are becoming pretty common in the US now, but still not the norm like they are in Japan. (My shower has one, but nobody else I know does.)

And of course, they have these electronic toilet seats in the toilet, although these are not as common as the other things I've mentioned. My Japanese in-laws, for example, have all the modern shower stuff but they still have a regular toilet seat. A lot of people do have these electronic seats, though, especially in newer houses/buildings.

The bottom line is the Japanese are years ahead of us in the oft-neglected field of bathroom design and technology.

[1337 @ Aug 25th 2006 8:50AM]

bah, it needs to be USB powered. then i'd be impressed

[Poop.Force.Five @ Aug 25th 2006 8:54AM]

Trust me, there are more of these in Japan then there are of the musical, heated, arse cleaning and drying variety:

http://users.bestweb.net/~bennetc/JPNLowToilet.jpg

[Chris Johnston @ Aug 25th 2006 9:33AM]

You need the $5,000 toto; a japanese toilet that this is trying to replace. I don't beleive you can fit all of that technology into a seat or they would have done that instead of building the entire toilet. Your trying to save $4200 and expecting the same thing.
Check it out here http://www.totousa.com/toto/default.asp

[H @ Aug 25th 2006 9:38AM]

Just there myself and noticed a few things I didn't see before. There are weight sensors to make sure someone is sitting on it, just to make sure you don't spray water out if you're not sitting on it. The bidet spray retracts normally and sometimes there are big and small flush buttons for number two and number one.

As for the old squaters, it depends on where you go. Anywhere that hasn't been updated, you'll likely see one. I actually saw more western toilets then squaters this trip which was different from 5 years ago. I even noticed a home improvement magazine that had a tutorial on how to switch out your squater with a regular toilet. I'm sure you're right though.

[DT @ Aug 25th 2006 11:59AM]

The toilet recommended a place called Americatown.

[Ladderless @ Aug 25th 2006 12:46PM]

" I saw a Mythbusters episode where they tested various things in western bathrooms and they found e.coli bscteria on everything, including toothbrushes. I remember Jamie saying "there's poo everywhere!" It wasn't enough to make you sick, but it's still both disgusting and unnecessary."


I remember that episode. What caused them to say that "there's poo everywhere" was the fact that their control toothbrushes, which were nowhere near the bathroom (I think it was in their lunchroom) tested positive for the bacteria, too.

eeewwwwww!!!

[Scooter @ Aug 29th 2006 1:34AM]

I live in Japan and have a Toto for my Popo. I don't use the other features, but I couldn't give up the heated seat in winter. With the lousy insulation here it is a necessity in the depths of winter when you finally dash from under the covers at 3am...

Jeff's right on the shower tech (love a good shower!) but Poop.Force.Five has a point: there are plenty of low-tech toilets here. See for yourselves:

http://www.asahi-net.or.jp/~AD8Y-HYS/index_e.htm

(the choice of 'clean' or 'dirty' examples is up to you!). The Aum poison toilet is notworthy.

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