Stupid burglars accept texted ransom offer for stolen cellphone
By Evan Blass 
posted Oct 18th 2006 11:20PM
posted Oct 18th 2006 11:20PM
Sometimes people really do get what's coming to them. Brothers Jared and Cooper Colwell and two other men were sleeping at their home in Midvale, Utah last Tuesday, when a pair of ski-masked crooks busted into the house and demanded everyone's cash, wallets, and cellphones. Sounds like your typical home invasion, except for the fact that Jared thought he recognized one of the burglar's voices -- it sounded like a friend of theirs named Randall Talbot who had previously crashed at their pad for a few weeks. Figuring they had nothing to lose, the men texted Jared's cellphone with a message saying "Randy, I really want my phone back; I'll pay you $300 for the phone right now" (must have been a Treo). If you're stupid enough to rob your friend's house it stands to reason that you might be stupid enough to collect a ransom on the stolen merchandise as well, and sure enough, Randy and his partner-in-crime Justin Brooks agreed to a meeting at the local Smith's store. As you've probably guessed by now, the Colwells immediately called the cops, who were there to greet Randy and Justin as they emerged from behind a dumpster at the rendezvous point -- reportedly poised to grab the $300 and take off. We tip our hat to you, soon-to-incarcerated cellphone thieves: out of the many stupid gadget criminals who have graced these pages, you two are by far the biggest idiots of them all.[Via FARK]
What dumbshits!
Hey, it sounded like a good idea at first..
end sarcasm.
Your 'end sarcism totally' ruined it, lol
Isn't Midvale where that iPod thievery took place about a week ago?
Nevermind, that was Riverdale. I live in Utah, and even I get the two confused.
Hey this still isn't dumber than that time when... no no wait this is the dumbest.
Utah's getting really popular nowadays. too bad its always for crime.
hahahaha n00bs... even i know not to accept text messages after i steal something
I've been to Utah, land of Mormans. I had the misfortune of trying to buy brew on a Sun at this grocery store in Utah, they called in an exorcist.
lol I even tried to hook this guy up in Utah with access to errrrr (freeware via alt.binaries). His ISP blocked ALL alt.bin addresses, lol - good ole Utah.
mormans... im not sure i know what a morman is, here i thought people called them mormons. idiot.
I had a friend that lost there phone a coupple weeks ago. They tried calling it but no one picked up. When they TXTed that they would pay a reward the person that picked it up was glad to TXT back.
Uh yeah... so don't call me stupid. I'm not stupid! I swears.
Why is it that every Utah story ends up implicating me in some sort of crime? Evan... you got it out for me?
Rick, you're a moron. Salt Lake is one of the last Liberal bastions of the west.
you gotta be kidding!!... these people will arrest you if you swear!! felony arrest with death... If I die, and God judges me as bad, I am going to Utah. Liberal, as compared to what, Inquisitors? Brother, I visited that place, I STILL GET FLASHBACKS. Cool scenery though, esp Bryce Canyon.
Exaggerate much, Rick?
Soon-to-incarcerated?
/grammar naziism.
lol i totally missed that the first time i read it.
i had to actually go back and read it twice cuz i was thinking "u dumbass. u can't even read right." only to realize that i guess i was saying that to a mirror.
: P
my bad haha
Surely, they're graduates of the Midvale School for the Gifted.
Lol, nice far side reference.
LOL I miss FAR SIDE... and that was my FAVORITE one!
That's all kinds of stupid right there.
some friends…
this is a story of the year. this story beats the Weener's story in Prison Break (stole a baseball card, and in jail for long long time, and get *ss r*ped). whoooo good gooinnnngggg... are there school for these guys out there? man, stupid!!!!! maybe they should really stay in school. i wouldn't want to recognize these guys as children if i were their parents. that's embarrassing, how can you raised you kids up so fr*** dumb... man... genious at work.
A guy i work with had his cell phone stolen from his car (prepaid). He called it and one time this blck guy answered and he said he wanted his phone back. The guy said F**k you bitch, and hung up on him. He did not give up though. He kept text messaging it saying that it had been stolen and about 3 days later (battery had to be getting low by now) some lady called him and said she had bought the phone from some kids for 35 bucks. My buddy met up with her and gave her 35 bucks for his own phone!!! It still had like 600 minutes on it and the phone was 80 bucks so i guess he saved some money but still..buying back your own crap!! give me a break.
I LOVE the fact that you guys made it an explicit point to mention the names of the burglars. IT would have been even funnier if it was bolded. LOL
Rock on.
soldier boy, swing by your local bookstore and pick up a copy of "Story Telling For Dummies".