If your kids have grown wise to your idle threats of coal in the stocking, then how about letting them play with FATBEAR in their fairy-tale lands of candy-cane slides and soda-pop fountains. Then, when that toddler steps out line, just rip off the bear's head and delight in the screams of compliance. Now this isn't just any ol' child-herding
, decapitated teddy bear
mind you, FATBEAR -- which is more like your creepy uncle LEGO Man in a bear suit
-- is from none other than Japan's own, SolidAlliance and offered up deadpan with a tagline of "let me taste your sweet memory." Start feeding FATBEAR up to 256MB of your data and this little plastic furball actually begins to grow, we think -- oh please god of the craplastic, let it be so! Of course, his powers of recall will be wiped quicker than you can breathlessly utter "eeer," after tapping that belly for a USB bong. Available now for ¥3,980 (about $34) for the 256MB model or just ¥1,980 (about $17) for the 128MB version -- but worth it at any price.