8:30 (PST) - Don't worry guys, we're in full force over at the Stevenote this morning, but we thought it couldn't hurt to run the play-by-play of Micheal Dell's CES keynote over here in Vegas, so we'll be bringing it to you live via the wonders of EV-DO. We're in the front row of the huge-ass Pallazo Ballroom, and people are still shuffling in -- though we're thinking the odds are low of us packing this place. We've got a pretty good idea of what's in store for us this morning, but stay tuned a few surprises, even if the DellPhone and DellTablet a wee bit less likely over here.
8:35 - Don't worry, more people have showed up. It's pretty good showing, in fact, especially considering those SanFran goings on.
8:45 - Alright, we're a tad bored. That's what we get for showing up early, apparently. There's a total Peter Moore look-alike standing near us who looks like he's wearing a blond wig, but we're scared to photograph him just in case he has intimidating tattoos to bare at us. That OK GO song was a semi-highlight in the otherwise utterly boring music set being pumped over the loudspeakers, but unfortunately it just ain't the same without a few treadmill-dancin' fools.
9:01 - We're getting started, with a bit of history of CES, plus some bragging about the 2,700 exhibitors.
9:04 - Here comes Gary Shapiro of the CEA to introduce Micheal Dell. Sounds like this Dell guy has been moderately successful, perhaps we'll Wiki him.
9:05 - An utterly weird video is on about what the imaginations of yesterday would do with today's technology. Plenty of laughs.
9:10 - Micheal Dell takes the stats, talking about the XPS M2010 laptop, which wasn't originally slated for production, but ended up winning quite a few awards.
The XPS 700 did pretty well for itself in the press as well.
"It's pretty impressive where we've come in just a year. We've gone from our initial gaming models to some really great products."
"As for support, we haven't done as great as in the past, but we're improving things." Mike rattles off a few numbers regarding support, including a big increase in North American call centers, along with a 10% customer satisfaction improvement."
9:14 - "Enough about that, here is how we're going to 'Gear Up' in 2007."
9:16 - Micheal is talkin' up home entertainment, stressing the need for more a bigger broadband pipes. He's also bragging about those Asians and Europeans who seem to do broadband so much better than us. "To make sure our kids can compete in the 21st century economy, we need to launch advanced broadband infrastructure in this country."
9:20 - Still talking about consumer media consumption, and how that's been changed by players like Sling Media.
"Announcing the Dell Home Media Suite. Based on a Dell XPS 410, with Core 2 Duo, Vista, DVD burner, speakers, webcam, 27-inch display, all-in-one printer, Linksys 802.11n router, HDTV tuner, including HD Cable."
9:24 - "The real star of this new display is the display." A few laughs at Micheal's joke about rumors of the display. Introducing the 2707WFP. Surprise, surprise.
9:25 - Introducing Paul DiMeo of Extreme Home Makeover to talk about Dell's involvement with building the "brains of the home" for a needy family, with notebooks, desktops and security systems in a room, which was a big help to the mother in entertaining her chilluns.
9:27 - Paul talks about a family with a blind dad and a deaf son, who were given a text to speech system and speech to sign system for communication between the pair. And Paul's off, we all wipe tears from our eyes.
9:28 - Mike starts talking a bit more about "Gearing Up!" consumers, but is interrupted by Dr. Evil, who just so happens to be looking for a new computer. He's like to "kick to the curb" his "POS" that Fat Bastard gave him, but wants help to get his old data off the computer onto a new one. Finger quotations abound.
A slide of Dr. Evil's XP desktop, with him and Mini Me shows up. Naturally, Dr. Evil doesn't want to get out of the "house" to make any of this happen. Introducing Dell DataSafe, which will back up your data and move it to your new system via the internets. "I've been watching Dr. Phil, and it turns out I'm a 'control freak'." But no worries, Dr. Evil can do this all by himself, he just needs a password.
"It's hellokitty81. Oh. Just kidding. It's not hellokitty81. That was a test!"
Now onto the environment, Dr. Evil watched an Inconvenient Truth and is all for it, but unfortunately he needs to split so he can call of his planned Micheal Dell assassination. "Toodles."
9:38 - "Like a great philosopher once said, Kermit the Frog, 'it's not easy being green.'"
Sounds like Dell's recovering all sorts of crazy millions of pounds of technology. Dell challenges all consumer electronic companies to join Dell in free recycling for all.
Also introducing "Plant a tree for me."
The first program to allow customers to offset the emissions the electricity of their PC will use over its life. $2 for laptop, $4 for a desktop. Available today.
9:42 - Now onto gaming. 12.5M online gamers. Generate a lot of heat with all that cooling. Introducing "Thermoelectric Ceramic Cooling." Computer doesn't drop below room temperature, guarding against condensation. With the system, they're announcing a crazy-decked XPS, including Blu-ray and up to 3TB of storage.
9:45 - Introducing Blizzard's Rob Pardo, he's a bit of a square, but he's talking about Burning Crusade, so we're all ears. "Take a look!"
Dag, yo. Lookin' good Rob. No new info, but everything is def looking sexy.
Two special edition XPS WoW notebooks, which will be auctioned off to benefit World Harvest. Also will be giving away a giveaway of a Dell XPS PC and the 2707WFP. You'll need a URL off of the initial vid (which should be on YouTube) and then answer a few questions.
9:50 - Speaking of gaming, here's Alienware CEO Nelson Gonzalez to introduce a couple new ones. Nelson shows off the M9750 media laptop and Hangar 18 home theater PC, they're looking good, but he's gotta split.
9:54 - Introducing Naomi Halas to talk about... nano particles? Apparently she's discovered a particle that is a sort of cancer-destroying which is activated by light. Ah, she's here to brag about how they're using Dell systems for all their work.
9:56 - Dell design video plays, showing off a few concepts of unannounced products that are looking pretty sexy for Dell designs.
9:58 - Announcing a Dell YouTube-esque app that distributes help videos via RSS, but will eventually feature user videos.
"At Dell, we consider you the most important part of our design team. Together, we'll make 2007 one for the history books. Thank you very much."
9:59 - That's it! It's splisville for us, we'll have more pics of the keynote pretty soon, so check back in a few.
UPDATE: Pics are in.