Smart Cycle from Fisher-Price corrupts our youth, must be stopped

Alright Mattel, we see what you're trying to do here, and we don't like it one bit. Sure, cram a few "edutainment" titles down kids throats now and then, maybe even sneak some learning into an innocuous-seeming video game, but if you're going to make children go through all the trouble of freakin' exercise to obtain your sinister educational wares, we say you've gone too far. The new $100 Fisher-Price Smart Cycle, which we briefly mentioned other the day, plugs directly into a television and allows its unwitting pupils to hop aboard the bike, fire away at the pedals, and attempt to steer into items on screen such as letters or numbers in an arcade-style racing game. Mattel even trotted out Richard Simmons to show off the wares and encourage the children who were demonstrating the device: "There's an M!" Simmons said. "Get it! Get it!" The word on the street is that the Cycle did quite well for Mattel at the Toy Fair, and might even be an Elmo-esque success for them this holiday season, but at least our friend on the right in the picture above seems to be on to their game. It's alright, little man, we're on your side. Peep a press shot of the bike after the break.

[Via The Raw Feed]

[Matt B @ Feb 12th 2007 10:16AM]

Simmons looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. Must be that new cocaine diet he is promoting. Or the latter part of one of my favorite Letterman jokes:

"I saw an add that said 'Lose weight without diet or exercise!'
I thought to myself, 'That pretty much leaves disease.'

[johnnguyen @ Feb 12th 2007 10:28AM]

Agreed, Simmons looks like death warmed over. I'd never let my kids near someone looking like that.

Me thinks this is a good trend- hopefully we'll see less "dangerously overwight kids" feature on NightLine. Too many kids are glued to the boob-tube already. Let's at least put them to use.

[Ayle @ Feb 12th 2007 11:42AM]

boob-tube??? I thought everyone was using flat-chest-lcd? ...... Sorry lack of sleep.....

[akintz @ Feb 12th 2007 10:28AM]

That kid on the right just looks like he's going to bust the camera man in the face if he don't stop taking pictures...

[Jonathan Sundy @ Feb 12th 2007 10:29AM]

Lol, now I get it.

I thought it was going to be a bike with an lcd and virtual items for you to steer through. I'm reading the whole article thinking about how long it's going to be before some kid rides out into the road to grab that last floating Z just to get him by a car.


....

stationary bike... makes more sense lol

[Ray-- @ Feb 12th 2007 10:50AM]

does the peddeling produce power that can be stored for my later use?? I might buy a bunch of these for the neighborhood kids and harness their energy to pay for my air conditioning bill....

[spil @ Feb 12th 2007 11:18AM]

That is exactly what I was thinking, "Ray--". How about instead of it being a game, it can just be plugged into a USB hub, and charge iPods and novelty USB missile launchers! Any one got Al Gore's email? I can imagine it now: "A Convenient Truth: how little kids riding stationary bikes saved the world"

[dchaosdx @ Feb 12th 2007 11:08AM]

that looks more like mel gibson in the lethal weapon movies than dick simmons.

[tom_squick @ Feb 12th 2007 11:41AM]

Criminal

[Whiplash @ Feb 12th 2007 11:41AM]

Richard Simmons has always struck me as a pudgy, emotional wreck. If that's what exercise does to you, pass the cheeseburger please.

[shmengie @ Feb 12th 2007 11:53AM]

jesus, i thought that was christopher walken!

[Little Man Buz @ Feb 12th 2007 12:16PM]

Egads! I thought that was Michael Keaton in his Beetlejuice guise, not Richard Simmons!

[Paolo @ Feb 12th 2007 12:51PM]

My daughter is high energy and loves to jump up and down alllll day long. I feel badly for our neighbors, so you can imagine what I thought when I read this article.

Muuuuust haaaaaave!

[scottjl @ Feb 12th 2007 1:03PM]

how about make the kids pedal to actually watch tv.. you wanna be a boob? fine. work for it. hell, set one up for adults too!

[Grant @ Feb 12th 2007 1:10PM]

wow, seriously.
What happened? He's only 58 according to wikipedia.
For someone who was so into fitness and health he really is not showing it.
i know people who haven't worked out a day of their lives after 20 who look younger at 60.
remember kids, say no to drugs.

[MichaelLC @ Feb 12th 2007 1:31PM]

Gene Simmons?

I thought that was Jack Nicholson...

The product is acutally kinda interesting. Maybe they cna make a Wii game, and the kids can get a ticket for driving while on a Wiimote.

[Jeremy @ Feb 12th 2007 1:54PM]

After seeing him on "Who's line is it anyway?" I think he's invented a new category past "off the deep end".

As far as the bike, it's a wonderful idea but I think there is already to much kids crap taking over leaving rooms and/or gluing kids in front of the video screen. We're building generation pod here and this bike only helps keep them there.

[mj @ Feb 12th 2007 2:15PM]

That kid is just jealous of Simmons' afro.

[will @ Feb 12th 2007 3:09PM]

Oh Engadget :)

[deedubya @ Feb 12th 2007 4:40PM]

Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

[Ordover @ Apr 25th 2007 11:11PM]

The Smart Cycle is from Fisher-Price, not Mattel.

[Richard @ Feb 12th 2007 4:59PM]

schmengie,

Jesus! I almost peed! Christopher Walken. I haven't laughed so hard in a while!

Thanks!

[Andy @ Feb 12th 2007 8:14PM]

Did you guys see Simmons adjusting his balls? Kimmel showed a video, it's pretty funny. I hope they get Kimmel to replace Conan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TMeK5qBSAI

[Sam @ Feb 13th 2007 1:30AM]

If richard simmons succeeds in these tricycle plans and it catches on in homes.

He'll save us billions in health care costs. Maybe we won't have to get sonny lipo when he's 12 now.

[sammeg64 @ Feb 13th 2007 8:23AM]

On the next Extreme Makeover...Richard Simmons!

He has obvious hair and clothing issues. Extreme Denial when it comes to that electric hair he's sporting on that over-the-hill dome.

[Bobby @ Feb 14th 2007 7:06PM]

If you say "After the jump" or "After the break" one more time I'm going to cancel my RSS subscription... seriously!