Onion newsbrief: iPhone 2.0 in the works

We do love The Onion around these parts, and when Onion coverage does cross over into Engadget territory, we find it's usually best to let those guys speak for themselves:

"'We looked at [the iPhone's] innovative user interface, the paradigm-shifting voicemail, the best-in-class mobile browser, and we realized we could make all that seem ridiculously outdated by the time the product becomes available to customers in June,' said Jobs, who described the project as 'Apple reinventing the iPhone.'"

We really love that Palm's sponsoring the page, too. [Potentially NSFW in and around The Onion.]

[Thanks, Duke]

[Mr B Posted Feb 16th 2007 8:54PM]

you're kidding me...

[ryan Posted Feb 16th 2007 8:56PM]

Yeah... that's actually kind of the point!

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:03PM]

"Jobs also hinted that the second iPhone device would NOT be compatible with existing Mac computers, third-party peripherals, or any future Apple products"


can someone shine some light on the subject of why that would be a smart move

[JonnyK429 Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:03PM]

Did Jobs actually say that? I take things too seriously usually :)

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:06PM]

Hey, idiots, The Onion is a satire.

Jesus Christ...And I'm an agnostic!

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:09PM]

lol are we the only ones who knew The Onion is a satire news site?

[reticulate Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:21PM]

You guys are seriously suggesting you DON'T know the Onion is a satire site?

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:07PM]

it appears as if the picture link is not correct: clicking on the picture redirects to a different onion article about adjusted ping pong scores or something.

just thought you might want to know.

[spasewalkr Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:10PM]

no, common guys. the onion is basically the "star ledger" of blogs. its all bs. the onion is bs. especially aesthetical's quote. the iphone not compatible with macs?! be reasonable.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:11PM]

Oh Jesus Christ...

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 9:47PM]

All you really need to do is scan around the site for a bit to realize its all satire.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 10:14PM]

I was hoping the article would be longer than that :(

How can so many people take such obviously fake comments as truth?
"When the second-generation iPhone comes out this fall, we want iPhone users to feel not just jealous, but downright foolish for owning such laughably primitive technology."
*shakes head*

The second article under Related Articles is titled "I Enjoy Being a Battery", written by none other than "A Nine-Volt Battery"

I love The Onion.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 10:12PM]

wow. the onion has been around for years. It is not a tabloid news site, it is a satire site meant to be humourous, not intending to be real news.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 10:15PM]

What Next?

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 16th 2007 11:38PM]

This one beats one of The Onion's better tech headlines: "Bill Gates: Microsoft to Patents Ones, zeros"

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 12:46AM]

What about us Sprint PCS users

Andrew Hillman

[Ohcyt Posted Feb 17th 2007 1:24AM]

"Jobs also hinted that the second iPhone device would not be compatible with existing Mac computers, third-party peripherals, or any future Apple products." Source: The Onion

I think this one is far more disappointing, does this mean it won't use iTunes to sync with?

[raging Ent Posted Feb 17th 2007 1:40AM]

You people seriously have never read the Onion? What poor, lost souls you are.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 3:29AM]

thats very funny, nearly choked on my milk compatible cornflakes!

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 5:48AM]

THE ONION IS SATIRICAL: IT'S A HUMOROUS NEWSPAPER/PUBLICATION. IT'S NOT REAL INFORMATION.
think "Daily Show with Jon Stewart" (on Comedy Central). You know? Jokes... Sarcasm... Funny... Laughing...

hahaha lighten up =]

p.s. "milk compatible cornflakes" hahahahaha

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 9:01AM]

Wow engadget posters have gotten even ruder and more immature than the last time I was here. Sure I know what the onion is. But 4 years ago I didn’t. So had someone directed me to the site and I only read one story, I might have missed it (especially if it was a tech story of little real life consequence in comparison). And if people responded like some of you, I’d find it inappropriate.

So please stop giving the impression that engadget is the breeding grounds for the immature and please stop giving Apple enthusiasts a bad name.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 3:28PM]

Clever article in the Onion. I don't usually read it, personally, and don't believe that I have to in order to have an opinion.

Thank you JESUS!!!

"Oh my GAWD, you have never been to Bobby's Ham Shack in Timbuktu? You shouldn't be allowed to live and must be destroyed!!!" --similar to Engadget Reader Attitude (ERA)?

Stop being techno fascists people. Leave your bitterness for arguments about StarTrek. Engadget is here to educate, not to provide a place for the technorati to admonish those who don't know, but have come to learn.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 12:23PM]

Really? Are you kidding?

These days "Apple enthusiasts" and "immature" seem to go hand in hand.

"Hahahahahhahhhahahaahaahah vista is teh Sux00rzZzZZ!!111!!!111!11elevene!!!!111!"

"wm6? more like pocketpc2001 service pack 14 lolololllolololololollaugingoutloudlololol!!!!1!!1one!1! iphone pwns!!1!!!!1!!!!"

"ms vienna? guess it taks leike maybe 2 or 3 yeasr to cooppyy OSX. 2009?? more leike 2016 LOLOLoloololoolllollolololl!!1!!11!!!!!11onehundred-eleven!!1!!!!!!!"

It's really a daily thing around here.

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 7:12PM]

So the Onion is fake?

[(Unverified) Posted Feb 17th 2007 11:20PM]

i hear the iphone 2.0 is only compatable w/ the commodore p.e.t.