Apple Rumor Generator promises all kinds of wild products

It must be tough for true Apple fanboys to weather the hours and sometimes days between the latest Mac / iPod / fake Apple product rumor; without a regular dose of wild 12-inch MacBook speculation or promises of a 32GB flash iPhone, what's the point of getting of out bed? Well luckily the good folks at Apple Gazette empathize with your need for Apple "news" on the regular, and have helpfully created a tool that will fill the gossip vacuum with info just as reliable as the usual sketchiness which infects the 'nets. Their Apple Rumor Generator picks a random clause from each of nine different phrase banks, and combines them for a fresh, exciting new bit of speculation with each press of the radio button -- feeding your Apple jones has never been easier. Ultra portable Mac Pro? It's in there. "Video Apple TV"? Sure, what the hey. And your favorite "anonymous tipsters, inside sources, and unnamed operatives"? Yup, they're all in on it too. So go ahead, get your rumor on, and learn shocking plans like this from deep inside Cupertino HQ: "A confirmed source has confirmed earlier reports that we will see a Black Macbook Pro and Flash-based iPod Shuffle in the Fourth Quarter 2007." Wild!

[Thanks, Michael]

[teddy @ Mar 2nd 2007 11:19AM]

ace

[LiQuiD_FuSioN @ Mar 2nd 2007 11:28AM]

"A confirmed source has given us this exclusive news about a Redesigned Mac Mini or Wifi Enabled iPod no later than Macworld 2008"

Hahahahaha, this was mighty clever! ;)

[Joshua Ochs @ Mar 2nd 2007 11:29AM]

Thanks for not mirroring the full graphic; you've killed the server. No fun for any of us. :(

[Michael Shada @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:03PM]

Does this enclude the rumer that the Apple iPhone cures cancer and can deliever babies? If not, Why Not? I hear it can do everything else! LMFAO

Does it also give the rumered price of the new Apple Crapware, starting at TWICE the price and Half the abilities, or memory of any other manfactuar.

[Tom Biro @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:16PM]

I love when it's bad that a blog linked to something and bombed it out. Always fascinates me for some reason.

[T-Bone @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:05PM]

It would have been really nice if you link straight to it. I clicked the provided link only to have to search some guy's blog for the story. Once I located the story I had to click on the link in that one to get to what everybody was talking about. How hard is it to give this guy credit for pointing it out AND provide a direct link?

[ashaffer @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:09PM]

They were missing the actualy product that's coming out next! An apple informant has confirmed earlier reports that we will see a Powerbook G5 no later than the Third Quarter of 2007! I miss the powerbook G5 rumors...

[stefan @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:10PM]

Amazing

[LongshotX @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:13PM]

I heard a rumor that Apple's will be having tremendous support for gaming...








...NOT!!!

[LongshotX @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:14PM]

I meant Apple not Apple's.

[Anto @ Mar 2nd 2007 3:40PM]

OK here's one for ya. Apple produce a new line up of top end machines with new designs, they produce wireless cradles to sit their wireless displays on (which will either work in portrait or landscape mode depending on which way you sit them on the cradle), these same displays will also be multi touch wifi so if you like you can take them out in the garden with you and you can use the new OS in sync ith the multitouch displays...Nah, it'll never catch on! ;)

Remember you heard it here first.

[Matt @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:20PM]

http://www.applegazette.com/macrumors.php
^^Direct Link^^

[Louis Gray @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:28PM]

I have my credit card ready now!

"One of our spies has advised us to expect a 16 Core Macbook in the Second Quarter 2007"

Wow!

[Chicksta @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:25PM]

I heard a rumor that Windows-based systems included a spelling checker, but obviously that isn't true! Of course, maybe if you actually learned how to spell, you'd be able to afford 'expensive' systems.

[Matt @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:26PM]

"A confirmed source has confirmed earlier resports that we will see a Black Mac Mini at WWDC 2007"

LMAO! A confirmed source has confirmed!

[DM @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:28PM]

Rumor has it that for the first time, Apple will release their first innovative and original product.

[iBode @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:53PM]

"An Anonymous tipster has confirmed earlier resports that we will see a Ultra Portable iMac or Wifi Enabled iPod Nano at Third Quarter 2007"

Who needs a MacBook when you can get an "Ultra Portable iMac"?!?

[Mickey Jones @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:54PM]

I'm a radical left-winger. Do they have one of these for conspiracy theories. That would really save me a lot of time.

[Benson Leung @ Mar 2nd 2007 12:59PM]

Neat!

[Mr. Pibbles @ Mar 2nd 2007 1:34PM]

Our Apple informant has given us this exclusive news about a 8 Core Macbook Pro no later than Fourth Quarter 2007


O.O

[Kyle @ Mar 2nd 2007 8:09PM]

In q4 of 2008, reputable sources "Ilife" will be replaced with "I-Relife". This new software package will allow not only video editing and dvd burning, but also video chat with the dead (Ichat... w/ the dead) and IRecover; a powerful new tool capable of recovering lost data on broken hard drives, and brining back loved ones from the dead. This product was confirmed by Steve Jobs himself (though, not the owner of Mac Steve Jobs, but rather a small child who was named Steve Jobs just so people could say "Steve jobs confirmed this product". Trust us, it helps the rumors credibility like non other.

[Haxxy @ Mar 6th 2007 6:00PM]

"One of our spies has advised us to expect a Black Macbook or Wifi Enabled iPhone in the NAB 2007"

I'm shocked at this new news.

-Haxxy

[Badtz Maru� @ Mar 7th 2007 2:00PM]

In Q2 of 2009, Apple will announce iPlant, the cerebral cortex implant for true convergence. iPlant will provide all the functionality of the iPhone via iHead (the in-your-head heads-up display), 16GB of iRemember in-head memory, 802.11n wireless connectivity to Apple products such a desktops and Apple TV, as well as Skype and custom ringtones.

iLive, custom environment skins for iHead, will also be released along with the iPlant launch. iLive will provide iPlant users the ability to skin the environment around them, from jazzing up the cubicle to making one's significant other look better, especially in bed. Users can use the included skin development tool to create custom environment skins and avatars, or download pre-made designer skins and media star avatars from iTunes.

Apple will announce their excitement of teaming with Humana, regarded as the best national health care provider out there. After years of negotiating with various health providers, iPlant can only be installed by a Humana-affiliated healthcare provider, with deep discounts for those with a Humana insurance plan (2 year minimum contract required). Announcements regarding international availability of iPlant will be discussed at a later date, but an unlocked/unsubsidized version of iPlant for the European and Asian markets is anticipated.

[Rick @ Sep 7th 2007 5:29PM]

In 2048, Apple will announce iHead, an AI unit that will snap on and
off (Lego fashion) all instantiations of iBot, including iMate,
iMaid, iCook, iYard, iFix, iTech, and iRS. Previously, an iBot had
to be controlled directly by its controller with iJack, which would
plug into the controller's temporal lobe jack and transmit his
commands to the iBot. The iJack, however, required the attention of
the controller, thereby inhibiting the Complete Vegetative State (CVS)
initially promised with the iBot rollout. With iHead, a person not
only can stay glued to the couch, but he need never think again!

The rollout will begin with what's apparently a graying Steve Jobs
presenting retro footage from the 2004 movie, "I, Robot". "Steve
Jobs" will then pull off its head, revealing itself to be an iJobs
iBot with a Steve Jobs configured iHead.