HP's Retail Store Assistant: a wallet's worst enemy

Fellas, if you thought Ralph Lauren's literal window shopping contraption was your wallet's arch-rival, we've got some unfortunate news, and for the ladies (or guys) who just love to spend it up, HP's about to become your very best friend. The clever gurus at HP Labs have developed a marketer's dream tool that enables customers to enter a retail store, swipe a card, and instantly receive a printout (shown after the jump) that includes "a personalized shopping list, relevant coupons, notice of associated store discounts or sales, and even a map to where the items can be found in the store." The inaccurately named Retail Store Assistant (we were thinking more along the lines of Wallet Depleter) is currently in the "experimental" stage, and would include an in-store kiosk which customers could access via a loyalty card or by inputting their phone number. Of course, this isn't the first stab we've seen at retailers using previous history to target consumers, but the team behind this apparatus insists that it will be much more effective than the typical junk mail that barely graces our eyes before hitting the trash. Best Worst of all, the system will reportedly be available even on the web, meaning that those with an urge to shop can log on during the waning hours of the workday and plan out their shopping spree for maximum efficiency. Oh, the humanity.

[Sheldon @ May 31st 2007 4:01AM]

I think you mean "Wallet Mass Depleters" ;-)

[Grey Acumen @ May 31st 2007 9:10AM]

Okay, there's just one problem I see with this.

If I'm actually a regular enough customer to HAVE a shopping history, I don't freaking need to swipe my card and get a map to figure out where I want to go in the store.

[MARSHAK @ May 31st 2007 9:47AM]

well It could be a travelling business guy going to his nearest Best Buy when he needs to (this is a very very small part of the market) but I have a question. Who invented shampoo bottle wallpaper and who in a pharmacy needs to buy HP stuff?

[abigsmurf @ May 31st 2007 10:39AM]

This kind of thing has been around for years in the UK. In Boots stores you can swipe your advantage card and it'll give you details of special offers and let you print off coupons

[dsunde @ May 31st 2007 12:48PM]

[From the HP press release]...if a grocery store detected that a customer bought yogurt every time it went on sale, it might offer that individual the sale price every time he or she went to the store.

C'mon, how stupid do you think we are? Does anyone really believe that? If you buy an item almost every time you go into the store, they have no reason to give you a discount on it. That's the LAST thing they would discount. This is all about getting you to spend more than you normally would, not less.

[Phil @ May 31st 2007 2:15PM]

The wallpaper is awesome, I want it in my bathroom. Ooo, can you get a shower curtain with the same pattern?

And how many of you would start wearing Tinfoil hats if the machine actually predicted exactly what you wanted?

[Jarrett Kaufman @ May 31st 2007 2:43PM]

Albertons grocery stores have had the same concept for many months now--and they use Epson printers.

[Ryhan @ May 31st 2007 5:09PM]

What's wrong with a good 'ol billboard, or signs, or booklets, or coupons in the mail? DOing that would be FAR more fficient, cost-saving, and effective. Just look at the "directory-thingies" atMIcrocenter or the couponsfrom BESTBUY!!!!

[Ryhan @ May 31st 2007 5:09PM]

What's wrong with a good 'ol billboard, or signs, or booklets, or coupons in the mail? DOing that would be FAR more fficient, cost-saving, and effective. Just look at the "directory-thingies" atMIcrocenter or the couponsfrom BESTBUY!!!!