Bill was a hired infomercial actor pretending to be on the brink. He used to lose at least half a dozeniPods to relentless and cunning thieves, continually able to outsmart him and relieve him of his portable music boxes. Then, like a shining light at the end of the tunnel, along came Hide-a-Pod*. "It was like a dream come true," Bill exclaimed: "I picked up a Hide-a-Pod, and I haven't lost an iPod since. If I leave it somewhere and go back later it's always right there were I left it." Harnessing the mathematical perfection of ugliness that only the Brown Zune possesses, Hide-a-Pod makes iPods physically invisible to lower standing members of society. You too can be like Bill, by ordering the Hide-a-Pod today!
*Warning: Hide-a-Pod not a real product. Will cause extreme ridicule if taken seriously.