Microsoft contracts Siemens VDO for in-car entertainment
By Thomas Ricker 
posted September 7th 2007 8:23AM
posted September 7th 2007 8:23AM
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posted September 7th 2007 8:23AM
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The joke in the title is childish and stupid... but I can't stop laughing. It's genious! :D
shows the cpu temperature 212F!!
there's also some ???? included in the speed screen. maybe it's fuzzy logic or you are not allowed to see in which gear you are please contact admin to chage rights.
Microsoft Rep (in India): Thank you for calling Microsoft, how can I help you?
Driver: There's a blue screen on my media player and my car won't turn on! wtf!
Microsoft Rep: Calm down sir, is the car on?
Driver: ...
Microsoft Rep: Sir, I need you to cooperate with me, is the car on?
Driver: .... yes ...
Microsoft Rep: Do you have the Recovery DVD's with you?
Driver: (with ironic voice) Yes I keep them in my pocket for times like these.
Microsoft Rep: Okay sir, we will go through a series of troubleshooting to get the car working again, ok?
Driver: Um.. ok.
(1 hour later)
Microsoft Rep: Okay, we have verified that the car has fuel on it and that the battery is good. We have also verified that the tire pressure for each one of your tires is ok.
Driver: ...
Microsoft Rep: The next step is to look underneath the seats for hardware malfunction. What did you say the error code is again?
Driver: WTF!
Microsoft Rep: Sir, please do not use that language with me, I am trying my best to help you.
Driver: Fine let's go on.
(45 minutes later)
Microsoft Rep: Okay sir, we are ready to get your car working!
Driver: Jesus Christ, really?
Microsoft Rep: What?
Driver: Nevermind.
Microsoft Rep: Okay, thank you for calling Microsoft support, have a grand day!
Driver: NOO WTF OMG!!!
(Microsoft Rep hangs up)
Let's hope it doesn't have the Aero theme or else if you lack the sufficient specs you won't be able to see through the damn windows.
How is this related to the Ford SYNC system?
"Honey, you're about to miss the exit!"
"Shut up! I've almost finished this level!"
Your gas tank has been refilled and your oil has been changed. Please restart your car for the changes to take effect.
1. The 'Aero' Package requires 300 or more HP.
2. When the car crashes it asks you to send information about troubleshooting.
3. The cars stops driving when Microsoft Validation servers go down. They call it "Gridlock Error".
4. Driver Error! Please replace or update the driver before using this device.
5. Tires.dll is missing or corrupt, please restart your vehicle.
6. The Windows Brakes service failed to start. Contact your support personnel
7. An Invalid character was found in the seat content.
8. Could not find a privacy policy for site "Chicago".
9. The GPS screams.... "Driver Memory Error" Can't you remember the directions stupid!
10. GPS.. "Security Alert: You are about to be redirected to a road that is not secure."
11. The Driver Has Not Passed Windows Logo Testing... Do you wish to continue?
12. Windows - Delayed Gas Pedal Failed.
13. Keyless Entry... Your Password Must Be at Least 18770 Characters and Cannot Repeat Any of Your Previous 30689 passwords.
And the one that happens at least once a day. "Car has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience."
Most are stolen and modified...
Will I have to press Start to turn it off?
so the thousand year Mac-Mic war has spilled over to the automotive platform, ay?
Can't wait for the zealots to defend their bricked wheels-or scroll-steering-wheel.
Anyone seriously getting a car supported by Microsoft's notorious 'reliability'?
rawr =)
Well, us Windows users are used to driver problems.
FATAL EXCEPTION OCCURRED AT fuelinjector1 AT PHYSICAL ADDRESS 0x2fca7eb1. THE FUEL CURVE COULD NOT BE "READ."
IN ADDITION, A HARD FAULT OCCURRED WHEN TRYING TO AVOID THAT MINIVAN. GOOD GAME, TOOLBAG.
Hahaha! and you will need an anti virus to drive it! ;-) God dam! M$ is in our houses, hospitals and now in our car, keep watching, soon in our bed !
LOL start to turn off ... thats so last year with xp, vistas an orb now, notice the steering wheel :), you gotta tap that to get to the menu to blow the horn and do other stuff ;) KIDDING
Guys you do realize that while it's all in good fun to poke fun at microsoft, Microsoft as a car software manufacturer isnt exactly that odd..... nascar and f1 racing teams have been using them for a while already, in fact thats where microsoft first got into the whole incare computer stuff, by directly working with teams.
Great! So as long as you have $100 million dollar annual budget, only want to drive around and around making left turns on a 2.5 mile loop for 3 hours per week, have active monitoring by computers and a team of people of your car whenever it is in motion, and have a crew standing by to add fuel, change tires, use duct tape to patch the body, and tweek all your settings every 100 or so miles.... THEN your Microsoft-powered car will work REALLY WELL!
if you're kinda poor and buy a cheap car, it will have the starter edition of the software and you won't be able to use more than 3 functions at the time, so if you driving at night, forget about radio (headlights, steering and gas)
Eventually, you'll need to use the airbags and the system will crash and ask you for your administrator account password or other security related stuff..
"Are you sure you want to deploy airbags?"
"Are you sure you want to change the radio station?"
"Are you sure you want to brake?"
BTW... the iCar would probably drive only in 5% of the roads... but every geek in the planet would dream to have one
geeks? common if there is one thing for sure is that majority of mac users are a bunch of idiots!!! no offense... i've used macOSX and even bought a old mac for troubleshooting purposes and i don't see how it's better than windows!!!
OK NOW....
"11. The Driver Has Not Passed Windows Logo Testing... Do you wish to continue?"
I don't know about you guys but somehow this doesn't actually sound bad lol, considering how crappy most people driving lately.
Microsoft VDO in-car entertainment systems (Home)
Microsoft VDO in-car entertainment systems (Home Premium) you can go over 60 Mph wowwwww
Microsoft VDO in-car entertainment systems (Professional) no in car TV
Microsoft VDO in-car entertainment systems (Professional Plus) no in car TV but you can go over 80 MPH
Microsoft VDO in-car entertainment systems (Ultimate) All features of Home premium and Professional plus Unlimted pull overs on speedways
no no jackson. I drive an '06 and use OS X.
Surely Microsoft will just wait for Apple to bring a car out,
then remove a wheel, all door handles and seats to make it truly difficult to use...
and paint it brown.
In order to refuel, you will have to find another M$ Car and get them to 'squirt' the fuel over to you.
"Now where is another car.....?"
Golly that is one UGLY steering wheel.
Please stab my eyes.
I'm already browsing torrent sites for the pirated version of this.
I have to say its pretty awesome how when apple products are listed on this site, people get mad about very few anti-apple commenting. People get defensive.
But something like this, the ENTIRE comment section is microsoft bashing....
Who has the better reputation? Thats what i thought...
There are iCar comments. And all of the funny comments are meant as jokes. The unfunny ones are meant as insults, but look at their rank.
WOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!
That car will crash I promise!
If Apple made it it would crash or lock up for sure , just like the iPhone does.
Look! I stopped using my real name!
Computer voice says, "I'm sorry. We have detected an APPLE in your lunch bag. Please remove it."
Is it just me or did that car in that picture literally crashed with the BSOD and the "?" all over the dashboard and the radio unit?
I was wondering why no one else commented on that. Lmao.
Because of the DRM, you only can put air from Redmond in the tires.
What the HELL??? Yah know how Vista is so similar to OS X ? How about the zune? Didn't Apple just go into to car design? Now windows wants to design cars? You see what I am saying? Microsoft copys apple. All. The. Time.
Macintosh. 4. Life.