Chinese astronauts want space-based communist party branch

Chinese astronauts want to turn the vast emptiness of space a disturbing shade of red -- and steal the solar wind's precious bodily fluids -- by establishing a space station, along with its very own branch of the Communist Party of China. China's still a long way from setting up its own space station, so General Ripper hasn't got anything to worry about just yet, although next year the country will send a three man crew into space: let us remind you that China is only the third nation on earth to achieve the feat of sending people into space. Anyway, once these "space communists" manage to set up shop in orbit, they'll be looking forward to activities such as "learning the Party's policies and exchanging opinions on the Party's decisions"; potentially including discussion of the Party's decision to send people 200 miles up, only to require they spend the whole time talking about politics.

[Image credit, thanks Ebbe!]

[mushrooshi @ Oct 21st 2007 12:11AM]

That picture doesn't fit, the Chinese use caligraphy scripts, not the cyrillic alphabet.

[CUBSWILLWIN @ Oct 21st 2007 12:16AM]

I thought that was the russian communist symbol. Unless they both use the same. The chinese will probably make rockets from NASA 'knockoffs'

[pika @ Oct 21st 2007 6:40AM]

Commercial knockoff engineering not = real engineering. Beside, making rocket use the same rocket theory, the only difference is NASA wish to put companies logo on their rocket while the Chinese don't.

[CUBSWILLWIN @ Oct 21st 2007 7:40AM]

You know I'm not serious.

[Constable Odo @ Oct 21st 2007 3:41PM]

The Chinese would never need to copy the Space Shuttle since they had rocket technology long before the white man dreamed of flying.
Check out this dude named Wan-Hu: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wan_Hu This Asian dude might have been the first man to go into orbital flight.

You've never seen a recent Chinese space vehicle before? Picture a red twenty-storied high gunpowder-filled fireworks rocket. They just have to remember to stand back a distance when they light the fuse with a match.

China made orbital launches much cheaper by combining space technology and pyrotechnics. Unfortunately, if the black powder is a teeny bit unstable, they might rediscover the "Big Bang" theory.

[kingu @ Oct 21st 2007 9:47PM]

NASA use engines developed for the Soviet planned space voyage to the moon, so whos knocking whom?

Btw, arent chinese astros called "taikonauts"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astronaut#China

[David @ Oct 21st 2007 12:19AM]

RED FACTION!!!!!!

THIS IS SPACE!!!!!!

[Michael La Framboise @ Oct 21st 2007 12:34AM]

...the hell are you talking about? This is obviously Sparta!

[still.reprise @ Oct 21st 2007 12:25AM]

Nice "Dr. Strangelove" references.

[Le Master @ Oct 21st 2007 9:35AM]

I think General Turgidson would flip his shit even more than Ripper.

[Jason @ Oct 21st 2007 12:35AM]

Moronic diatribe aside, people should wake up and take a look at what China is doing. China still qualifies for 3rd world status with the World Bank, receiving billions of dollars worth of special rate investments, and yet poor "3rd world" China has the funds to operate an entire space program.

China also fails to allow a shift in the value of its currency against the US Dollar, effectively waging economic war against the US.

So scoop up those cheap computers and iPods kiddies... it's not like China is reverse engineering advanced western technology and software in their communist labs in an effort to gain an economic and engineering advantage over their western "friends".

[daedric @ Oct 21st 2007 5:13AM]

People who know nothing about economics should not talk about economics. As China is selling off U.S. currencies because politicians are bitching about Chinese goods being too cheap, what is it doing to our economy? Products are getting more expensive, and our dollar is becoming less and less valuable. Do you even understand why oil prices went over $90 a barrel despite rising oil inventory? It's because the dollar is weak. No one points out the fact that it is exactly because China is selling U.S. currencies for the reason that it is weak, so we want a strong dollar, but want China to float more dollars around which will give us a weak dollar, and we want cheaper oil even though weak dollar makes oil more expensive. People are stupid, and they like to talk about economics when they have no business talking about it.

[Crayola @ Oct 21st 2007 9:44AM]

Hmmm... If the Chinese is indeed offloading their dollar reserve, who's buying them? They got to have somebody to sell too, maybe the NY Fed trading desk is sucking up all those currency, oh wait, if the Feb is buying up dollars in the open market isn't it going to decrease the money supply? Then again decreasing the money supply in the long term has the effect of reducing inflation of goods and services. Gosh! This is like magic! Thank God in the Chinese we trust!

Last I heard OPEC isn't even considering increasing output, damn those terrorist! Hope they drown in oil!

[david @ Oct 21st 2007 11:56AM]

It amazes me how many people have absolutely no clue how macro-economics work, and base their entire thought process vis a vis China by sound-bites of "currency manipulation", "toy recall", and "communist!!11" on the evening world news.

China reduces world-wide (especially USA) inflation via their inexpensive goods. An entire generation of Americans effectively have been shielded from inflation due to low-cost, everyday goods made in China. Yes there has been a media-spun frenzy on product recalls lately, however for each item made in China recalled, there are countless millions others that quietly serve our everyday needs with no problems at all.

China also effectively subsidizes American inflation and props up the value of the dollar by using money generated by their trade surplus to buy our (American) debt, and thus keeping inflation in check. Why exactly do we want China to re-value their currency vs. the Dollar again? Do we want consumer prices to on everyday items like toothbrushes, furniture, electronics, etc to double or even triple in price? I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't.

[Chir @ Oct 21st 2007 12:29PM]

You are grossly over simplifying the World Bank's programs. Just FYI, China borrows at market rate from the World Bank.

[daedric @ Oct 21st 2007 11:34PM]

Crayola, again, if you don't know economics, dont comment on it. Please ask any economists what happens to the dollar if China fully switches their foreign exchange reserves off the U.S. dollar. I don't need to know your background to tell that from those statements, you probably failed your econ courses.

[tekdemon @ Oct 22nd 2007 2:18AM]

China is not waging economic war against the US at all. Since their currency is pegged to the US dollar, as the US dollar has sunk down the
tubes, it's actually just made the CNY weaker compared to non-US currencies. So if anything they'd be waging economic war against the countries that don't peg to the US dollar.

Except, most countries don't run a huge trade deficit versus China. America does because we love to buy inexpensive Chinese goods. In other countries people are OK with paying a lot more money for stuff (just compare the price of cars in the US versus the price of cars pretty much anywhere else), but in the US we don't. So stop blaming China, nobody makes you buy their stuff, the other countries (including other WTO member countries btw, where tariffs against China are also the lowest possible) somehow manage not to run an insane deficit.

As it is, China currently holds 1.4 TRILLION DOLLARS of US currency, currency that devalues everyday. I don't know if you realize this but the fact that we owe them money while our money is becoming more and more worthless is actually bad for the Chinese, since the less money our currency is worth, the less valuable our debt becomes.

And for what it's worth? Even if you didn't buy anything made in China you'd probably still be sending money out of the country. Just look at all your clothing labels, it's either Mexico, Honduras, Indonesia, India, Vietnam or some other country on the label if it's not China. We also run huge deficits against a bazillion other countries, it's just particularly noticable with China since it's a huge country as opposed to a small one.

[kojo87 @ Oct 21st 2007 12:45AM]

God damn communists! can't you just be happy with China and Cuba? is this because you lost Russia? is that what this is about?

does this mean the logo will change to like a rocket and sickle or something?

[nih @ Oct 21st 2007 6:42AM]

That was a very disturbing post. One would think the advent of other countries entering space would generate goodwill for them and their way of life from you lot, not spitting hatred.

[jbcaro @ Oct 21st 2007 12:49AM]

I'm all for it. The more communists we put in space, the fewer that will be here.

While were at it, we might as well start a space based law firm and start sending lawyers up there too.

[Adeel @ Oct 21st 2007 1:07AM]

For The Union.

[TEM @ Oct 21st 2007 1:15AM]

You mean For the Revolution!

Wait, too late, already purged.

[James Daniels @ Oct 21st 2007 1:07AM]

Dr. Strangelove is pure comic genius.

[TEM @ Oct 21st 2007 1:19AM]

Yeah, three communists go into space, but only one comes back. When asked about the other two, the commie replies that one starved to death, and that the third one never existed.

[CUBSWILLWIN @ Oct 21st 2007 8:13AM]

thats comedy!

[ukickmydog (NDF - Earth) @ Oct 21st 2007 2:16AM]

lol, communism

[Phillip Black @ Oct 21st 2007 2:32AM]

This is Blasphemy!
This is Madness!
This is Communism!

[manimal @ Oct 21st 2007 2:44AM]

PIGS ... IN ... SPAAACCCEEE!!!

haha, the muppet show was a foretelling of this, just as cryptic as Nostradamus..kinda..

[Eric @ Oct 21st 2007 3:06AM]

but more accurate?

[chris @ Oct 21st 2007 6:13AM]

no because nostradamus predicted 11/9... apparently...

[Fraggle.Rock @ Oct 21st 2007 3:10AM]

OPE... POE... if only we could figure it out!!!

[Dr Buzz0 @ Oct 21st 2007 3:35AM]

The Chinese are still pretending to be communist, eh? I mean, communism is supposed to be... you know... valuing the society and equality and progress for workers and opposing the excesses of free enterprise and capitalism. The Soviets did a pretty crappy job of actually running with that, but they did at least have the single-monolithic/anti-business government thing going.

So now China wants to promote how Communist they are? Oh PUH LEASE! They're not even faking it anymore. They're rolling in the dough from capital-driven industry while at the same time having a totalitarian government.

Yes, the materialism and excesses of capitalism combined with the control, rampant corruption and lack of freedom from a communist system. ITS THE WORST OF BOTH WORLDS!

"Yes, we're the Chinese! We are Communist! Power to the worker and down with the riches of capitalism! Please come invest in our stock market! Would you be interested in having something manufactured over here? Would you like to buy one of our products at discount prices? Here, lets go look at some of our new time shares!"

Aside from the fact that it's a joke at this point, what the hell do you need a political party branch for in space? To represent all three people in a space station? Seriously! Even if they built one that is ten times the capacity of the ISS (which seems unlikely because no matter how you cut it launching big stuff into space is always a pain) then they'd have thirty people in the space station. And they don't even live there for that long (cuz if you spent years and years your bones would turn to goo) So what the hell do a few astronauts in an orbiting can need a freakin party branch for????

[octoberasian @ Oct 21st 2007 4:21AM]

Well, there are several possibilities here. If the US is intending the ISS to be an international collaboration, then what are the Chinese intending?

Let's see:
- Establish a space-based government on Communism? (ie- something similar to the Federation of Planets)

- Boast to the world they're the 2nd Communist country to have humans in space? (ie- USSR being the first)

- Laugh at the US and saying "if you can do it, we can do it better"? (ie- we send men to space that's very costly, they do it cheaply and faster)

- Begin establishing a "far reaching" (pun intended) influence of the Communist party? (ie- Refer to the first one)

[BigD145 @ Oct 21st 2007 12:49PM]

Thank you for calling BS on China. There STILL hasn't been a single communist country in at least the past 100 years. Russia was Stalinist.

[AlexP @ Oct 21st 2007 3:28PM]

There is no such thing as a Chinese astronaut.

Chinese Taikonauts, on the other hand...

[eurobloke @ Oct 21st 2007 5:32AM]

You have to remember this was quoted during the XVII National Congress of the Communist Party of China, which is discussing China's next five-year-plan, a lot can happen in five years.

I assume this is just will be an area of the Chinese spacestation that has the working of Chairman Mao Zedong, and other socialist writings, rather then a full office of a party workers etc.

I am puzzled why there is a lot of sinophobia on this website and indeed in this posting, they are here and growing, live with it.

[00 @ Oct 21st 2007 6:23AM]

Never trust someone who says there isn't a Communist-Capitalist confusion in China, but merely "socialism with a Chinese blend". That someone has been consuming/producing too much propogandacrap. He is thus merely a drone, and deserves to be sent FAR into space, where he can have his very own little communist party and crap about his style of socialism as much as he wants... That is, as long as he doesn't broadcast those crap deeper into space. We don't want beings on other planets to think we humans are all like that, do we?

And, dear Europeans (eurobloke in particular), we know how you LOVE the Chinese and want to sell them as much weapons as you want so that they can beat the crap out of the Americans in return for the embarassment that is WWII, but it's not sinophobia, it's nonsensical-political-machine-phobia. I love the Chinese, esp. their women.

[Twitchy @ Oct 21st 2007 6:45AM]

Actually the reason for selling them weapons is that armed societies tend to turn them on themselves - see U.S.A. and Brasil (et al).

[sarpulas @ Oct 21st 2007 7:45AM]

Irony is, by its definition the system in PRC is actually state capitalism - not communism/socialism.

[Neebs @ Oct 21st 2007 9:28AM]

A planned socialist economy seems almost correct for space...I'm surprised by the number of OMFG COMMUJNISTS LOLLOL on Engadget today.

[Eric @ Oct 21st 2007 1:47PM]

Yea, because it didn't work on Earth, so it can't possibly fail in space.

[francoisyang @ Oct 21st 2007 10:44AM]

From a Chinese

I only sence of fear and hate here against China.
Those who doesn`t like China, ok just stop buying things made in China in return just buying jacket from States or Italy!!! How many of you guys can afford it!!! Ah free world, you still have Indian or other poor country where workers will only 0.5 dollar for making a 50 dollar shirt or jeans! You call it free world???
Go back to China, China`s cheap goods prevent you arrogant people from inflation and Chinese bought the most your american national bond somehow to keep your economy from broken as US is totally a non saving country. I don`t know how your guys could be so blind to see all thoese truth. What you want finally in China anther Big Iraq where people live in so call democracy and died without knowing what the F you have done????
Maybe you guys just sit in the sofa and had too much education from your media and think that is democracy. China is still poor, most of the poeple only live less then 2 dollars a day but we still love our country and we willing to give more then you guys could give to your democracy!!!
The party has some problem but it`s the only power to hold the China tight together from falling apart. Ah maybe that what you want to see!!!
We can live without Boeing Plan or windows in return some of you could only have one underware left!!! Don`t be so narrow. If we just sit together most of the problem will be solved. Someone who doesn`t share the same vaule as you do doesn`t mean an enemy to you and I think it`s stupid to have only one value in the world which is against what you called democracy.

[NathanG @ Oct 21st 2007 11:20AM]

... What?

[L. Cyphre @ Oct 21st 2007 11:41AM]

Are you one of these famous Chinese hackers we keep hearing so much about?

[laughing @ Oct 21st 2007 3:58PM]

And yet you come to school in the west in droves to get a western education. I am married to a Chinese and have been to China numerous times. I often have to entertain government officials when they come here to the US to go to Vegas.

China's government is a corrupt and underhanded totalitarian regime. Corruption is the name of the game when it comes to the government and police forces. Neither the US or China is innocent, their relationship is bound in under the table sleazy deals. I see the poor workers slaving away for corrupt bosses driving Mercedes and sporting Rolex watches. The class separation and oppression of the people is swept under the rug because having that out in the open would hurt the lining of pockets with large sums of money for the party bosses. Meanwhile the US points it's finger at China and says "tsk, tsk" all while sliding huge sums of money to them under the table to continue with the sleaze that is the communist party in China.

It is sad, because China is a beautiful country with lots of varied regional culture and a great people. Unfortunately the Communist party with the help of western money is polluting and oppressing their way to the top of the heap.

[Constable Odo @ Oct 21st 2007 4:06PM]

Take it easy. Most Americans don't resent the Chinese. The most American's know about the Chinese is their take-out food or Jackie Chan. I'd be darn happy if Zhang Ziyi was my personal squeeze. You've got plenty of hotties over there. http://www.asianpopcorn.com/default.asp?Display=914

I enjoyed watching the Last Emperor and Pavilion of Women and bunches of other Chinese movies. I thought the Chinese actors and actresses were pretty cool.

Besides we rich capitalist pigs need China to produce stuff cheaply so we can maintain our fat cat lifestyles at the expense of poorer nations.

The people in this forum are just having some fun because they have nothing to do but sit around at their computers all day long and make idiotic comments. Pay them no mind.

I say "You Go, China." In fifty or a hundred years, you'll be where we are now. Of course, I'll be dead by then and it won't matter who takes America's place as Number One Nation in the whole wide world.

[just.Rob @ Oct 21st 2007 11:30AM]

Isnt a space station made of solid lead and ecoli going to be be kind of hard to launch into space?


I kid, I kid!

[david @ Oct 21st 2007 11:43AM]

E-Coli? It didn't seem to stop the US.

I kid, I kid!

[fourthletter @ Oct 21st 2007 12:11PM]

How about an international treaty banning politicians from going into space, unless we round them all up and shoot them into the sun.....

[spm.peapot @ Oct 21st 2007 1:53PM]

Be scared! Be very very scared!! They are going to rule the universe and paint everything RED!!

Hahaha... I think this paints a scary picture of gullible Westerns than a gullible picture of scary Chinese.