Earth-saving mystery material unveiled to be...wait, not unveiled
By Nilay Patel 
posted Dec 3rd 2007 2:22PM
posted Dec 3rd 2007 2:22PM
[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]
posted Dec 3rd 2007 2:22PM
Now that we've thrown 'em off the trail, use the form below to get in touch with the people at Engadget. Please fill in all of the required fields because they're required.
Al Gore invents water; the world's greatest life-source.
2000 called, and they want your joke back.
Also, http://web.archive.org/web/20000125065813/http://www.mids.org/mn/904/vcerf.html .
Hey, Mr. Kettle....
Did 2000 also ask you for that joke back?
Hey Derbeste, 1605 called, Cervantes wants his metaphor back.
Plus, it should be "Mr. Pot ... " the object of the accusation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pot_calling_the_kettle_black
I thought it was pretty funny.
Bovine scatology
who run barter town
Al Gore WAS the "mystery material". What he's made of, no one can figure out.
lol that is exactly what I was going to say :)
Cheeseburgers and milk shakes?
I thought it was obvious: he is a plastic talking head balloon filled with hot air and a tape recorder.
Shit?
Haha, he called the shit "poop"!
"You heard the good news everyone! Save the Earth, etc, etc, g'bye!"
Al Gore can round-house-kick better than Chuck Norris.
Blasphemy!!
How dare you speak lowly of Chuck Norris!!
Well, he does resemble a round house...
What a scum-bag that Al.
I'm not denying global warming, but there's "global warming" on mars too and there are no suv's.
He's a hypocrite like bono.
That mystery material better show up soon or may it be a huge embarrassment for gorey.
Wow, you're an idiot.
Global warming on Mars. LOL!!!1111111 I can't stop lolling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ugh, ignorant people annoy me. We all know global warming, even to the point of ice ages are a naturally recurring process, because it's happened before.
The problem is how QUICKLY it's happening.
So next time you want to make a comment about something you know nothing about, save us the bother of reading it and just put your foot straight into your mouth.
It's true that global warming happens regardless of what we do, but suggesting that we do nothing about it, is just ridiculous. If your doctor tells you that your family has a history of heart disease, you carry the gene and it's just a matter of time until you will be affected, what will you do? According to your logic it wouldn't matter if you stuff your body with fatty foods, never exercise, and start smoking because you will get heart disease regardless, right? Think about it!
how come 1 man can do so much good, and still seem like such a piece of shit?
because he is shit.
I believe he's referring to the 'sun is the cause of recent global warming' theory, whose proponents claim is supported by evidence that Mars is warming. -C.
This just makes me really T.Oed doesn't anyone care about the helpless baby seals anymore? The oceans are crying and no one crys with them but me and Al Gore. Its a sad day, I'm going to go and cry some more.
TREE KILLERS!!!!
"And that's why electrons must taste like Grape-Ade!"
Perfect Futurama reference, Engadget. Love it!
Earth saving mystery ?????
Calling the Martians for Help ...thats what I think it is
Heh... That's right. They're coming to save the Earth from us. The soiree was probably a big get-together of the alien overlords come to pat each other on the back (kind of like in the John Carpenter movie They Live).
Yeah they were gonna do that...but they ran out of minutes on their cell phone...
Naa their busy with their own global warming, Martian bovine gas, yuck!
All I will say: remember the Raxicalicophalipatorians (excuse any typos, but the Slytheen chose the damnedest home planet)
I spent the last $10 on this plastic Al Gore figurine!
"You are listening to me talk"
Good news everyone...
Could it be some new kind of genetically altered algae used in the field of biofuel algaculture.
Neutron Encrusted Steaming Hot Dark Matter indeed...
Good call Engadget...
Did Al bring the Vice Presidential Action Rangers with him?
you mean the Nobel Prize Foundation?
In other news, I just solved world hunger, but I'm not really in the mood to explain it.
People, wake up and step into the 21st century. Global warming is a 1980s concept which has been studied and expanded upon. Today, in 2007, we refer to Climate Change. Global warming is one, of several, phenomenon that are a result of Climate change.
Yet you have failed to explain why I still do not care...
the mystery material was found on monica lewinski's dress.
The mystery material is a vast supply of hyperbole and catch phrases used by the left to generate attention vs. the right. The green campaign is based on incomplete or inconclusive science and is being launched as a basis for attacking conservative politics. Nothing more.
Let me lay down some truth to all the nonsense floating out there. The left doesn't have the answers. If they had ANYTHING resembling an answer, it would have been plastered across the media faster than Brittney Spears pulling her thong-wedgie out. The fact is, global warming is happening. Yay, break out the champagne. Global cooling happens as well, ask early inhabitants of Greenland. It's a cyclical process. An earlier poster mentioned Mars' global warming. Another poster blasted him for this. The funny part is, both are correct. The rate of global warming is concerning; yet, Mars' warming process is proceeding at the EXACT same rate according to some scientists. Have you heard this? Why not?
Face it, if there's a political force to be had, everything that "emerges" from the "research" will be catch phrase generating rubbish. The plan is for the left to generate enough negative press for the right's "failure to act" on the warming issue, to get people in enough of a tizzy to push the left into office in the US. Once this happens what will change? Little if anything. Hybrid technology will continue to press forward, hydrogen will go overhyped and underdelivered as it does, and E85 will continue to drive up the price of other crops being raised.
I could go on, but that would just be slapping around useless speculation, which would make me a politician instead of a person. Is global warming occurring? yes. Is it a problem? Probably. Does either side have the answer? No. Should we throw money at every potential idea to reduce global warming? Let me answer with allegory:
Are you having trouble deciding between Blu Ray and HD-DVD? Add 30 formats, 12 zeros to the price tag of each one and oh yeah...if you pick right, everything will go on and your TV will look pretty sweet, but it will still be a TV. Choose wrong, and 7 billion people will either perish, or live on in an irradiated wasteland of oppressive heat.
Dramatic? Sure. Here's the kicker...you can't make a decision on inconclusive research. All the scientists MAY want to tout their answer for global warming, and they are quickly aligning with Left-wing frontrunners pushing their agendas to the fore...but scientists tend to be smart enough to know that if they aren't positive of their solution, they shouldn't pose it as such. The only people who sling theory as fact, are politicians, and their supporters.
-N
Ok, I was just reading these for laughs until I read your post and had to reply. I thought no one actually understood these facts, and here you are with this gem of actual "REAL" information. Amazing. Never thought I'd find that on the internets!
THE MYSTERY MATERIAL WILL STOP MANBEARPIG!!
Maybe, but can it stop SpiderPig from doing, well, whatever it does?
Does everyone get their money back? People were paying a lot to be on hand for this unveiling, and nothing was unveiled?
Duh, it was supposed to be the premier of the Steorn Orbo but they still can't get the stupid thing to work in public. Something about people watching making the quantum flux capacitor go all wonky. Go figure.
"I have rode the moon worm"
Al gore and his entire staff and family flew in from 3000 miles away to compliment brown on his environmental efforts and you still diss him? tisk tisk.
The mystery material is oil.
When we run out of it, we will dramatically reduce our carbon footprint.. Drive your SUVs proudly! You are helping to use up the world's oil supply and solve global warming.