COLOSSAL MP3 Player stays true to its name

It's quite likely that the COLOSSAL MP3 Player has somehow managed to stay largely hidden from view for some time now, but it is apparently popping up in a number of locations and begging to be purchased as the ultimate tech gag gift. Apparently, these things come in a number of hues, check in at about five to ten times larger than your prototypical DAP and include a USB cable, earphones and 256MB of built-in memory. The humongous units get their juice from four AA cells and can be found at random drug stores (and probably elsewhere) for under $20. Needless to say, this is the stocking stuffer buster you've been looking for.

[Thanks, Marcus]

[Pentium @ Dec 10th 2007 3:43AM]

what the hell!!? is this really an mp3 player!!

[Jeff @ Dec 10th 2007 3:47AM]

If it plays video, sign me up for 3!

[Saffy @ Dec 10th 2007 3:47AM]

Wait, FOUR AA's? It plays only audio? And it gets just eight hour of battery life?!? Sounds like the least efficient gadget to come around in a long time. Hell, my cassette Walkiman used to do better than that in the 80's on two AAs, and it had all kinds of, you know, moving parts. Did this company's engineers get hit with the spiked end of the clubbed end of the retard stick a few too many times, or is the player part of a secret cabal of battery manufacturers?

Still, kinda funny though. I wonder if you can use the colossal remote to control it.

-Saffy

[JB @ Dec 10th 2007 5:00AM]

I saw this at a Walgreens yesterday... The poor battery life is (most likely) because it has built-in speakers. Cheap speakers = low efficiency = poor battery life.

Just strap-on some 6V lantern batteries and you can be the hit of the party!

[Bobs @ Dec 10th 2007 3:54AM]

Now, if they could only waterproof it

[Paul @ Dec 10th 2007 7:35AM]

If they waterproofed it you could probably use it as a surfboard.

[Bobs @ Dec 10th 2007 9:49PM]

Yeah, see these things are great, because they are so dang huge, you cant really lose them. i mean, my archos AV500 cost a buddy of mine plenty, just its value alone is enough for me to literally know whare it is at all times, unless someone moves it. But think about it, its very easy to compare this to a CD player, that you can give it to your grandparents who know how to use a digital camera. its rather cheep, so its also avalable to kids. personally, i would have liked it to have a larger screen so older people can read it. i mean, it dosent need 1080i 2048x1024 super high res uber screen, so it shouldnt be too hard to make one for someone with visual imparment.

[DarkLightConnection @ Dec 10th 2007 3:59AM]

I've seen all kinds of "COLOSSAL" stuff on several drug stores (mostly Walgreens)... there are colossal calculators, colossal universal remotes, colossal clocks, and now colossal mp3 player, its nothing new... and yes, it's all actual working stuff, and somehow manages me to smile sometimes :-)

BTW, please tell me you meant EIGHTY hours, or like Saffy said, this is a candidate to "Least efficient electronic device ever"

[Chris @ Dec 10th 2007 4:19AM]

Efficient? It's a giant MP3 player, people. This thing doesn't fit in your pocket. It's a GAG! 256MB, giant size, under $20: these scream joke. The people who made this didn't care at all about efficiency, and neither should you. You or the person you give it to will use it for ten seconds after getting it as a gift and promptly set it in the back of the closet. Honestly, develop a sense of humor you morons. So sick of the BS comments on these AOL sites...

[Brian @ Dec 10th 2007 4:30AM]

let's all take a moment to laugh at the guy having the hissy fit

[DarkLightConnection @ Dec 10th 2007 4:54AM]

Good point, you won't use it for very long..

And I have a sense of humor, if you read carefuly my original comment

[Meng Bomin @ Dec 10th 2007 4:16AM]

I actually think that the "8 hours" listed on the box in the picture refers to the total length of music (at some chosen bitrate) that can fit on the MP3 player, not to the battery life. Note that it says "8 hours of music or 160 songs".

But you know, it could just be really inefficient.

[ark_v2 @ Dec 10th 2007 4:29AM]

They could have stored several HDDs into that but they went with flash, and ONLY 256 MB...

[Magnulus @ Dec 10th 2007 4:44AM]

Am I the only one expecting to see someone buy this and fit it with a ginormous harddrive for no apparent reason? I guess if you do THAT, at least it'll be a funny sort of media player to have next to your stereo.

[JB @ Dec 10th 2007 4:45AM]

What is this?! An MP3 player for ants? ...It would have to be at least, three times this big!

[Magnulus @ Dec 10th 2007 5:02AM]

*chuckles* Best comment yet!
The Derek Zooland MP3 Player For Kids Who Keep Losing Their Gadgets!

[KarlW @ Dec 10th 2007 5:46AM]

If it was meant for ants, wouldn't it need to be smaller rather than larger?

[heyhey @ Dec 10th 2007 8:20AM]

Dear KarlW, *woosh*.

[Ethan @ Dec 10th 2007 10:41AM]

Is that the sound of the joke passing over his head?

Trigger happy TV for a new generation, methinks.

[austin @ Dec 10th 2007 7:23PM]

somebody hasnt seen zoolander...

[DarkLightConnection @ Dec 10th 2007 4:57AM]

That would rock, hook it up to a decent home theatre and forget about your stereo (if you still have one)

[DarkLightConnection @ Dec 10th 2007 4:58AM]

Oops, this was meant to be a reply to ark_v2

[Rynth @ Dec 10th 2007 6:27AM]

This has potential, stuff a few 500GB drives inside and boom, 1TB huge DAP.

Meh, s'pose you could wall-mount it.

[Galley @ Dec 10th 2007 7:15AM]

Colossal things were always done better on that show "Big" from a few years ago. A Guinness World Record was practically guaranteed!

[jesper @ Dec 10th 2007 7:27AM]

That is disgusting junk. Completely useless, waste of natural resources. Whoever thought that it is a good or fun idea should be sent to the sweatshop where they make those. For life.

[DT @ Dec 10th 2007 8:51AM]

Boardroom meeting:

CEO: "Gentlemen, it appears that consumers like their portable electronics tiny. 'Nano' is all the rage. Jenkins! How do we capitalize on this trend?"

Jenkins: "Well sir, if they like tiny, they must LOVE colossal! I saw we make the biggest MP3 player anyone has ever seen. We'll easily sell millions!"

[roole @ Dec 10th 2007 9:15AM]

I think it is meant for senior citizens -- the same ones that need products such as those oversized-keypad phones that you see in places like Walgreens and Walmart?

[Wayde @ Dec 10th 2007 9:33AM]

This has Flavor Flav written all over it.

[Keith @ Dec 10th 2007 10:16AM]

I know they have them at most Walgreens. Im getting one for my brother (Who wants an iPod). :) Payback for last year.

I will admit, as funny as it is... IF THEY EVER START MAKING JUMP DRIVES OR SD CARDS, I WILL VE VERY AFRAID

KMyers
http://Blue-Mobile.com

[R031E5 @ Dec 10th 2007 10:48AM]

The only thing here that's not colossal it's the capacity. What can you fit in 256 mb?! 3 songs and a podcast? oh wait, it doesn't support podcasts.

[Ayle @ Dec 10th 2007 12:06PM]

For the size I would have expected at least a 1TB of memory...

[jilie @ Dec 10th 2007 12:58PM]

i'd prefer it over the icrap close to it

[Randavance @ Dec 10th 2007 4:21PM]

Damn it, if only it has a larger screen, it would be soo much fun to port Rockbox to.

[Hotwings @ Dec 10th 2007 5:46PM]

That huge and only 256 MB? And look at the size of the non color screen! I think i'm gonna be sick!

[Marcus Villalpando @ Dec 10th 2007 6:07PM]

i want one, lmao
and i wrote this!!!!

[ace_spades @ Dec 10th 2007 7:00PM]

KIRF on toshiba gigabeat?

[wheeldawg @ Dec 12th 2007 3:33AM]

I saw one of these in a Walgreen's a couple weeks ago and me and my friend actually joked about snapping a pic for Engadget... lol never thought it would actually have been good enough to be posted.

Well that and neither of us had a camera. Almost bought one for a dirty Santa thing.

[Mr. Weather @ Dec 27th 2007 9:37PM]

My wife bought one of these for our 4.5 year old. I'm trying to make the thing work now. The problem is that copying or syncing files to it appears to be mega slow or not even possible. The transfers appear to start and a few bits of music end up on the device, but that's all. I will try it on a different PC to see if the problem is PC-related, but so far I suspect the thing is not even worth 25 cents.

[shezz @ Jan 29th 2008 12:54AM]

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