Crapgadget: USB Santa boots, SMB mushroom lamps, awful PMPs, and more

It's been a prolific week for crappy gadget manufacturers, which means it's been a frighteningly sad week for us, since we have to go over all this stuff whether we like it or not. That's right, it's another edition of our newest running series, Crapgadget, in which we round up the worst of the worst. Enjoy the crap out of this, okay? We nearly gouged our eyes out in the making.


Read - USB Santa Boots: because attaching your shoes to your desk is so very practical. [Via Geeksugar]
Read - The Super Mario Brothers USB mushroom lamp: Never has $13 so thoroughly ensured your virginity.
Read - Faux-steampunk webcam: It's amazing that the designer probably wasn't trying for steampunk, yet screwed it up so badly. [Via TechDigest]
Read - Slipper Mouse with programmable pedals: Look ma, no hands! Or dignity! [Thanks, Todd]
Read - Luckystar MTV format PMP: Has anyone ever actually seen an MTV format video file? Were they happy about it? [Via PMP Today]
Read - Tongfang Quadro-Platinum PMP: Just when you thought Tongfang was crawling to respectability, it busts this Pat Booned Zune up at you. [Via PMP Today]
Read - Chocolate bar concept hard drive: In case you didn't have enough drive letters to keep track of. [Via Pocket-lint]
Read - Gas-powered RC Hummer monster truck: Not wasting enough gas in your real Hummer? Why not spend $700 on a toy one? [Via BeSportier]

[doobster Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:32AM]

"primary competitive advantages" of the two PMPs is apprntly "Country of Origin" LMAO...!!!

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:50AM]

I noticed the same thing! I was like you gotta be kidding me! lmao, how do these people even think up this stuff hahaha.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:37AM]

:| I like the mushroom lamps...

[nrp Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:11AM]

Me too, and the steampunk webcam. In fact, I'd rather hear about just about any of those gadgets than have post after post of iPhone news. This Crapgadget series is pretty... crappy.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:14AM]

Now if they came in all the colours of the rainbow, everyone would be happy!

[o29 Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:14AM]

I might have actually bought one if it wasn't USB.

[o29 Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:21AM]

Oh, check it out. They have the exact same lamp but battery powered.

http://gadget.brando.com.hk/prod_detail.php?prod_id=00472

[HeadsetChatter Posted Dec 15th 2007 10:08AM]

I like the mushroom lamp also. Pretty much the fondest symbol of my childhood. And while I'd prefer it to be just a regular lamp instead of USB, apparently you can also put batteries in it.

Congratulations, Crapgadget, you just sold a mushroom lamp!

[Zoroaster Posted Dec 15th 2007 11:36AM]

That was the first thing I thought of as well. Those lamps are pretty cool.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:44AM]

[spam redacted by editors]

[holycow Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:54AM]

Spammer just never rest...

[holycow Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:55AM]

spammers* ... (god damn engadget, add the edit feature please)

[ethana2 Posted Dec 15th 2007 3:42AM]

Linux users.
OpenSolaris users.
Mac OSX users.
BSD users.

Go away.
~Ubuntu Gutsy user

[ethana2 Posted Dec 15th 2007 3:44AM]

Oh yeah

edit feature ++
...sorry for posting twice when I should have appended this to my previous post, but.. meta.

[Wwhat Posted Dec 15th 2007 5:08AM]

Strictly speaking that's not spam, that's phising, he tells you to get anti-virus (meaning you don't already, even though you read engadget, haha) from a russian site, which of course will come with a trojan.

[monkfishbandana Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:37AM]

@ Wwhat

It is spam. Phising is trying to obtain personal information; I don't think that's what this is.

[Wwhat Posted Dec 15th 2007 8:49AM]

If it tries to lure people into installing a trojan, which in turn is meant to get their financial data, and any registration keys, then I class it as phising.

[Zorque Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:43AM]

I think the webcam's kinda cool looking. Plus it's only $12 bucks, so if it sucks there's no real loss.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 10:07PM]

yes there is. twelve dollars.

[Mushroooshi Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:03AM]

Sorry, but this entry fails.

I happen to like the mushroom lamp and the flash drive idea.

The steam punk one is kinda kool, it isn't a phail, and while it isn't me style its still cool.

THe USB santa boots have to do something... heating or massaging?

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 2:40AM]

i agree. this post fails. fails at identifying really crappy gadgets and fails at being funny.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 3:06AM]

The modular "hard drive" actually seems like it could be really useful. Why are you guys trying so hard - there's plenty of better crap out there.

[Henry Earl Posted Dec 15th 2007 3:21AM]

this could work guys, but you gotta be a lot more mean. Like last week, with the "fly, douche! fly!" ... i nearly died laughing at that. How would you like that, engadget? causing someone's death from your humor. Keep it up, fellas.

[Garst Posted Dec 15th 2007 3:51AM]

Got to love toys that are going to also almost guarentee kids' access to petrol. I don't care if they're sophisticated UKers, you don't let kids have gas. Unless...But I think that's illegal there and most other countries.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 4:11AM]

Basically, this is how Engadget rates various gadgets.

If Gadget =/= iPhone
Then Gadget = Ghey

[andrewh12 Posted Dec 15th 2007 11:49PM]

And in my world people who bring up the iPhone in a non-related article=gay.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 16th 2007 2:08AM]

Well technically, there are a few relations between the two.

- This article is about gadgets, the iPhone is a gadget.
- The iPhone was discussed on this blog, just like these gadgets.
- The iPhone is an MP3 player, so are some of the gadgets in this article.

[teriyaki Posted Dec 15th 2007 5:00AM]

I actually think the LOGO (Luckystar) PMP looks pretty snazzy.

[NightBlade Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:08PM]

So do I...

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 5:18AM]

Dont totally agree with the foot mouse, it would come in hand for people without eh... hands. Quote from site: "When hand is in trouble or busy, foot is the natural and best alternative." Would say that I cant beat off with my feet, Got to give em that right?

[Wwhat Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:32AM]

I once made my own foot-activated switch for my computer, to use in games, for jumping for instance, or weaponswitch.
In the end it was just too stressing to use a foot too.
For those interested, I just attached a wire to a switch in a hacked together pedal to the classical soundcard game-port, since I wasn't using that anyway and games actually support all it.

[Wwhat Posted Dec 15th 2007 5:15AM]

I like the webcam design in theory, but the pictures on the site make it look like chromed plastic, that ruins it.
The engadget picture has a bronze version that looks much more fancy.
How about these ones though :)
http://www.chinavasion.com/images/QS-C01S.JPG
http://www.chinavasion.com/images/QS-C01XT.jpg
http://www.chinavasion.com/images/QS-C01GOAL.jpg

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 8:47AM]

saw a armless guy in the train once, rolling a cigarette with his feet. He'd be glad with your game I recon.

[monkfishbandana Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:42AM]

"Basically, their misconception comes from two sources: first, distrust or bias against their feet"

Feet don't have minds of their own, and I'm certainly not afraid that my feet are going to rummage through my files to steal my bank details while I sleep.

[Darth Cheney Posted Dec 15th 2007 11:09AM]

www.7gadgets.com 's bryce 5 skills suck ass

[krymson Posted Dec 15th 2007 10:20AM]

Some of these.. aren't that crappy. Like most people said, the chocolate bar is innovative, the steampunk lamp doesn't look bad(640x480 at 30fps isn't crap eiher), and the mushroom lamps.. while nerdy are pretty damn cute.
If you're gonna make fun of crap make sure its' makefunnable, and make sure it truly is crap.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 1:36PM]

i want mushroom lamps!

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 6:15PM]

'shrooms will always be cool, even in lamp form. mario is socially acceptable and, since i'm a college student in a college town, the psychadelic appeal is there too.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 15th 2007 8:56PM]

Remove your head from your ass Nilay Patel. The foot mouse is needed. Or are disabled people not allowed the right to use a computer if they can't hold a mouse in their hands?

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 16th 2007 12:18AM]

The Logo PMP is actually looking pretty sweet,
everything else is well better spent collecting dust on the shelf.

[Mike10010100 Posted Dec 16th 2007 1:06AM]

NO WAY! My middle school lego league came up with the concept of the foot mouse! That guy stole our idea!

(pretty bad one by the way)

[Student Driver Posted Dec 16th 2007 2:26AM]

Huh, I thought the picture would have been titled "It's a very merry Korean Khristmas." But hey, crapgadget works too.

[(Unverified) Posted Jul 9th 2008 4:38PM]

Did anyone order the mushroom lamps?

Because I'm thinking about ordering a couple - shipping is free from Hong Kong. If there is any error on their part I will just contact my credit card company...

I'm thinking 1 red one and one green one. I'll check ebay first though to see if they have them there.

[Frastoglegnia Posted Dec 22nd 2007 5:32PM]

Actually, I find geeksugar's page far more offensive than any of the chintz you've listed. Mushroom lamps might appear in the back of a bad catalog, but geeksugar is the horrendous layout and pseudo-calligraphy that surround them.

I did, however, enjoy the stylin' cringings of Nihal Patel.