A gentleman named Robert was spotted wearing this contraption at a Starbucks in the East Village. Apparently he calls it a Portable Gadget Center. We call it hilarious. Close up after the break...
Ryan: "The Dylan of his generation, Bobby could type AND dial a call with his tongue at the very same time."
Evan: "Why yes, this IS the first date I've ever been on; how did you know?"
Chris: "Years of latte-infused spittle had rendered Robert's array of devices useless, but a longstanding disinterest in using his arms -- indeed, the inspiration for the contraption itself -- had prevented him from wiping them with a damp cloth."
Dante: "I thought it made you look cool until I spotted the baby blue G-Shock."
Ross: "I don't CARE if it doubles as your retainer!"