GPS baby Jesus stolen again, found across the street
By Paul Miller 
posted Dec 28th 2007 8:05AM
posted Dec 28th 2007 8:05AM
Maybe next year they can just spring for an RFID baby Jesus. The folks in Florida noticed that their GPS-equipped baby Jesus we mentioned the other day was missing from his nativity, and fired up the old GPS tracker. Turns out they didn't have to look far: baby Jesus had been swiped Wednesday night and brought to a house across the street from the nativity. Deputies showed up at the door Thursday morning and hauled off the 18-year-old female culprit with a charge of grand theft. The statue is valued at $800, while the GPS system rings up at $400, and the girl is currently in jail with bail set at $3,500. Are we feeling a brand new sort of holiday tradition coming on? We think yes.[Via TG Daily]
Too bad she didn't read Engadget.
Here she is.
http://www.pbso.org/index.cfm?/36236E2D250215130035161D520F070B37523F371E40392C392E20014F1707340A5A1B1B093B3B01170E1F4D3936362C2131080A0420000728595D51675D5A5A2C136072647E7B5F56575D753A125A031E00741B0B1E1E436D3B363C6F0F0E080E7A5744445E5E50665D525E51/index.htm
Too bad she didn't wrap BJ in tinfoil...
She kinda looks like she's from Florida...
Welcome to Hell, Danielle Santino.
Man, whether or not you really believe in the afterlife, there are some things you just don't do. I mean you gotta at least cover all your bases just in case, right?
How stupid can you be, first of all for stealing a baby jesus (c'mon, you just scored yourself a one way ticket to hell, even if you don't believe in that), and second, this was on EVERY SINGLE MAJOR TECH NEWS SITE...
So stupid.
That's what I was thinking too. She does have an internet connection, right?
"LARC-THEFT IS 300 OR MORE BUT LESS THAN 5000 DOLS"
They probably meant "Less than 5000 dolls".
I wonder what would happen if she stole more than 5000 baby jesus dolls?
@NovaLand:
I hope you are kidding, because DOLS is a not-often used but valid abbreviation for DOLLARS, not DOLLS.
wth do you mean 'even if you don't believe in that'?
Religion is false, there is no god, there is no heaven, there is no hell. Belief is irrelevant, either way.
To bad she wasn't hit by a clue.
With a face like that, I'm sure she was hit by a clue in more than one way.
...But she was probably hit by Clu-perger.
too bad thats the largest freaking newborn i have ever seen.
Jesus was 3 years old when he was born it seems
"immaculate conception" takes on a whole new meaning.
Although they are called "nativity" scenes, most have the wise men there -- who, as I understand, were supposed to have shown up some time (many months or even a few years) after the birth. So, the fact that he's still portrayed in a manger is the troublesome aspect, not his age.
@Drakono: ding ding ding! We have a winner! Joseph and Mary were in a house when the wise men came and offered gifts. Don't forget too that the "wise men" were actually Herod's "wise guys" sent to find Jesus.
Which brings me to my next question. The chick that took it, her dad wasn't an Italian governor or anything, was he? ;)
I like the Christmas Jesus the best. Little 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet.
Ghen, I know you were just joking, but the "immaculate conception" doesn't refer to the birth of Jesus. It refers to Mary supposedly being born without original sin. (LOL, I can't seem to get all those annoying Catholic school details out of my brain no matter how hard I try.)
He was also apparently a blond kid from Scandinavia. What a Christmas miracle!
She found Jesus, that's all. Her pastor was happy I'm sure.
Jesus Christ!
Is this for real?
They are equipping a Baby Jesus statue with GPS reciever and cellphone module to relay back the position, plus batteries to power it for a reasonable length of time, when they could just freakin well bolt the bugger to the floor.
Doesn't anyone want to steal the Donkey FFS?
Why do they always take BJ? It's enough to make him cry.
"Last year they tried bolting down the figures, to no avail...."
CB, for the win.
I was wondering when it was gonna get said. Snerk.
I like that the post is tagged "baby jesus" and "BabyJesus". Before you click, there aren't any other posts with those tags. Engadget always covers its bases.
I think engadget is correctly aware of the high likelihood that Baby Jesus theft + tracking technology is a potent cultural combo. It contains the possibility of all kinds of techno-social escalation as well. Kind of like the nuclear arms race. Kind of.
It would be good to get a (probably distorted) psychological profile on Baby Jesus thieves out of all this. My top three hypotheses: 1. because of hidden anti-Christian sentiments; 2. because of resentment stemming from the 'holiday blues'; 3. because Baby Jesus is the ultimate baby.
Is anyone else thinking that the Baby Jesus statue looks a bit like Julius Caesar- just smaller?
now we know where Jesus really came from....
Awesome followup. My first thought upon reading the first article was that they were stupid for giving away the secret that the statue has GPS in it -- that will only make the thieves take precautions, like removing or disabling the GPS as soon as they steal it.
I'm glad to see the word hadn't spread that far and some dumbass got caught. I also think it's really funny that the value of the GPS system bumps it up to grand theft.
So now we're Lo-Jackin' Jesus. Wow. Was she charged with Grand Theft Savior? God is probably laughing her butt off right about now.
Or we could start booby-trapping our nativity scenes...load the Baby Jesus onto the same weight-contraption that Indiana Jones failed to beat, and have the same result. It could be marketed under the name of Danger Manger and have the final step be a giant rock that squashes the offender. "If ya wanna take 'er, be prepared to meet yer maker!"
who says god's a woman?!
@chris
Kevin Smith says so - for more information on this joke please pick up Dogma at your local video rental location
Joke? If you're going to believe in fairy tales, you can certainly come up with your own suppositions of gender and whatnot, but just because one version of a novel specifies that a deity has a penis, there's no need to assume that 1) it's true or 2) other versions do.
I completely agree. IF there is a creator, it is more likely to my mind that said creator would be female. Or gay. Ooh, wouldn't that put a lot of people's knickers in a bunch if that turned out to be true???
Dogma was a great movie. Heck, still is!
If there were some super being who created everything, why would it need genitals? that's for creatures who couple you know, and those would come in two's or more.
(although in the judeo-christian bible the god character actually acknowledges that there are other gods, but that's not important to this little interchange)
Grand Theft Savior. I nearly ruptured my spleen laughing. Thanks. I needed that today.
Also: rock on. Dogma is one of the five greatest movies in the history of the world. If She were god, I'd certainly be an acolyte.... or MUCH more likely than the version there is now.
Just like Adam and Eve likely don't have navels!!! Very interesting point. Of course, South Park shows God to be a small green hippo-looking monster. Maybe they know something... :)
If I could vote you higher...
@gadjitfreek
That is not dead which can eternally lie, And with strange eons even death may die.
http://www.cafepress.com/macgregors/1123328
I wanna know what is wrong with her picture. Her mouth looks almost too small and she has chipmunk cheeks 0_o
Wonder if she thought, "Oh Baby Jesus, you will looks so cute decorating my bed when it is made!"
I said it earlier, she looks like she's from Florida.
I think it's sad that the very presence of a nativity scene brings the worst out of some people and brings them to steal it.
This made my day. We all knew it was coming... ;)
So does that mean if I jam a diamond inside my Snickers bar and you steal it, it's grand theft? :)
No, it means I sue you for the surgery to remove the diamond from my colon.
who the hell wants to steal a baby jesus? its some kid too... i would try and steal a game, or a whole console, maybe a tv. cars even have their benefits. u can get 500 bucks for a car no questions asked if u know the right people. a baby jesus... the girl really deserved to be locked up for being a complete waste of 9 months
All I can say is ... yes you guessed it JESUS!
Hmm... Does anyone else remember hearing stories of lawn ornaments being stolen then taken round the world with pictures being sent back to the owner of the ornament in strange locations?
I am thinking something similar for this, hijack it, put it in a lead lined container, then ship it around the world, breifly take it out of its box long enough for the tracker to report a position, then stick it back in and ship it somewhere else.
I think it would be pretty funny for the tracker to report that baby jesus had gone to Rome, then he was in Tibet, then stopping in South Africa, back in Canada, then suddenly popping back up in the nativity in time for next christmas.
Thats what Amelie did with her fathers lawn gnome in the movie, "Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain" Its a great movie by the way.
Somehow I never thought there would be an Amelie reference on Engadget. I have now seen everything. Although I agree it was a pretty good movie.
http://www.wgrz.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=43467
Usually, I find it to be so stupid and juvenile when people type "pwned". But I have to say, in this case, it's completely appropriate.
Talk about a dumb thing to be arrested and thrown in jail for.
I concur.
PWNED!
Considering the level of missing intelligence in the act, the baby should have been connected to a 12 volt car battery. Darwin Award, calling!. :)
I live RIGHT next to where this happened! It was all over the news. People are stupid. Smart thinking on Wellington's part. I remember they lost 2 baby Jesus' last year so I guess they decided enough is enough.
I'm glad she got caught...I hope they don't let up on the charges. It will send a message to would be criminals that amusing ways of breakin the law and getting media attention will get you a light smack on the back of the hand for your crime.
Her idiot ass!!
All kids in the 16-20 year old range will still break the law and do stupid shit, it's part of being that age. It's really just a matter of who gets caught and who doesn't.
@Kyrra
I am 16... I've never broken the law or plan to...
wait till you can drive :D - speeding tickets are far too easy to rack up! (in the uk of course - you only have to be 17 to get a driving licence)
I disagree, but thank you for your cynicism.
Age is useful data at a statistical level, not an individual one. At least, not with the people I associate with. I turn 18 tomorrow, I've been driving four years to the day without a single traffic violation of any kind, and I never intend to commit so much as a misdemeanor.
...actually, there was that one time we had guns aimed at us by cops and were told to lie perfectly still on the ground with our faces in the grass while they searched our car, but that was because we didn't realize the importance of those little orange tips on airsoft guns.
If you ever get one of those, _don't_ remove the orange tip. Do not. That's how cops know they're not real assault rifles.
Girl: "how did you know it was here?"
Cops: "God told us!!"
Cops: "We followed the star."
cops: ''there was a gps unit hidden up the saviours asshole''
'Let's just call it inside information..'
Funny thing is, I live less than ten minutes from that nativity scene. I fought the urge, why couldn't she? Besides, that Jesus has been stolen before, and probably will get jacked by someone next year too...
Cops: We actually were out investigating a 646 (lewd conduct) involving some wise men. They led us here. They were urinating in your bushes.
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that the nativity scene's owner even pressed charges. AND that she was charged so harshly. I personally hopes someone steals the baby j again, takes a sledge hammer to it and its high-tech innards. then replaces it.
I'm not advocating this sort of behavior, just wishful thinking.
Why is it ridiculous to press charges? Someone steals something from you and you're just going to look the other way? Man, I've heard of being non-confrontational but, wow.
Had I lived near such a god-awful-ugly nativity scene (as I'm assuming, seeing its centerpiece), I'd have probably done something similar (though less stupid).
I hate ugly-ass gawdy yard decorations, and God Almighty himself has given me the task of ridding the world of them. If you don't like it, talk to the baby jesus hand!
tadghostalmoron-
really?? where do you live? I want to steal some stuff from you if you're the type that isn't going to press charges against people. then again, when you say something like that it probably means that you have nothing of value worth stealing anyways.
hear hear.
You got my vote tadghostal
So does she now burn in hell for all eternity? Sit on the devil's lap and sweat in the flame world hundred of miles below the earth's surface? Did she repent and therefore all cahrges dropped? Can't quite figure our christianity or any religion for that matter.
stealing is stealing, if its a bank heist or a gum ball in the local grocery store... that said, stealing a baby Jesus is HILARIOUS! Although we used to go for the slightly larger ones and put them in front of the police and firestation. one year we moved mary, joseph and the donkey to the firestation... Ill be 3 rows in front of this chick in hell... but at least its not on my record ;)
We decorate our yard for the different holidays. Its takes alot of time and money, for someone to come along and just take it. We have had plenty of things stolen from our yard and it really upsets me. Great idea to lojack the Baby Jesus !!! I wish I could catch who ever has stolen items from my yard. We have to stake and tie everything we put out. We also always find some items messed with. They usually just leave when they figure out it will take to long to rip it off because we have it tied and staked. LOLOLOL
Anyone who steals should be arrested and in jail. Many people have stopped decorating because of the thieves. It is such a shame. These kids think it is so funny to get away with stealing these decorations. Its just plain childish and not amusing. Our block looks so awesome around Christmas. Everyone decorates their parkway trees excactly the same (it just seemed to happen over the years). It looks so awesome with the trees all the same with green lights on the trunks and white lights on the branches all the way down the block on both sides. If half the people stopped doing this because of thieves it just wouldnt be the same. So people please dont ruin it for evryone else because you cant refrain from doing such an impulsive act. Its just not funny.
What kind of sick person steals Baby Jesus anyway ?????
-Where's your messiah, now?
-Umm, right over there.
As someone else mentioned, it was not wise to advertise the fact that the statue contained a GPS in it, because that made people want to steal it just for that reason.
Maybe the press should get the Darwin Award on this one.
WWJD!!
Its not the same story that Engadget reported on earlier... its ANOTHER GPS baby. If you read the actual article that engadget is reporting on, they talk about the one that engadget reported on earlier. The one from the first story had them in Mary, Joseph, AND the baby. AND they purchased the GPS devices just for that. The story they are reporting on now purchased several GPS devices for a bunch of $40,000 generators and the guy installed one onto the statue almost on a whim...
It looks like the ugly stick got her hard...Rot in jail for this, you ugly bitch
You must be some american christian then, I recognise the humanity...
maybe he is a security officer at a local manger
"You must be some american christian then, I recognise the humanity..."
...what??
Haha eric, I didn't think of that :)
Greatest story ever told - http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5547481422995115331
Good ol' Christian forgiveness.
Sometimes you just have to ask yourself what would Brian Boitano do?
$300... for that?? what a waste
800.... even worse
Hi,
This is just to inform you that your post was selected as an "essential link" by 19min.com
Kind regards,
19min.com
"How stupid can you be, first of all for stealing a baby jesus (c'mon, you just scored yourself a one way ticket to hell, even if you don't believe in that), and second, this was on EVERY SINGLE MAJOR TECH NEWS SITE...
So stupid."
A: what kind of nutjob spends 600$ on a BJ.
B: what kind of nutjob spends 200 to equip a BJ they paid 595$ too much for with GPS for another 200$.
C: if you dont believe in hell you cant score a 1 way ticket to it.
Her mistake was taking it and keeping it in her home in the first place. Bad plan.
Me? I'd have waited until no one was looking, and then I'd have paid some 12-year-old $25 to smash the little Jesus statue with a hammer (which he'd buy and keep), until he was nothing but a pile of dust and GPS guts.
If they catch him, I deny I ever saw him before. He's just some lying kid. Probably just a juvenile troublemaker, officer. What a shame. Maybe he needs to go to church. . . blah blah blah.
If they don't catch him, I laugh as the obnoxious Biblethumpers across the street awaken that morning to their own personal Passion of the Christ.
Luckily, I'm a pacifist who respects other people's property, otherwise, Jebus statues would be in trouble. However, I'm getting REALLY sick of the fundies getting in MY face to tell me "Jesus is the reason for the season" or "It's called CHRISTmas" or "The only Happy Holiday I know is CHRISTmas."
First of all, no-- Jesus is not the reason for the season. The Christians stole the holiday from the pagans, and the Solstice celebration far outdates the Jesus story which was just cobbled together from several other virgin birth demigod stories throughout history. Second, anyone who takes my saying "Happy Holidays" as a personal insult is an out-and-out rude, selfish jackass who probably deserves to have his Baby Jesus statue vandalized or stolen for a little while.
While this girl was a dumbass, she was probably sick of her holier-than-thou neighbors blasting "It's Called Christmas. . . With a Capital C!" over some speaker behind the manger all season, and should probably plead temporary insanity in the face of religious zealotry.
Or maybe she's just a dumb punk. Whatever. Happy holidays.
You're a fool. You went on an irellevant rant about how closed minded and intolerant fundies are, by illustrating how you are exactly the same way.
She would never have been in this much trouble if she read engadget. You guys posted like 3 stories about this within the last 2 days.
why is jesus white? lol
Two words for next time: Faraday cage.
At least her mug shot turned out better than this guy's: http://www.esorn.ag.state.oh.us/Secured/p23.aspx?oid=13753