GPS baby Jesus stolen again, found across the street

Maybe next year they can just spring for an RFID baby Jesus. The folks in Florida noticed that their GPS-equipped baby Jesus we mentioned the other day was missing from his nativity, and fired up the old GPS tracker. Turns out they didn't have to look far: baby Jesus had been swiped Wednesday night and brought to a house across the street from the nativity. Deputies showed up at the door Thursday morning and hauled off the 18-year-old female culprit with a charge of grand theft. The statue is valued at $800, while the GPS system rings up at $400, and the girl is currently in jail with bail set at $3,500. Are we feeling a brand new sort of holiday tradition coming on? We think yes.

[Via TG Daily]

[Rohit Kapur @ Dec 28th 2007 8:08AM]

Too bad she didn't read Engadget.

[Mike Caesar @ Dec 28th 2007 9:42AM]

Here she is.
http://www.pbso.org/index.cfm?/36236E2D250215130035161D520F070B37523F371E40392C392E20014F1707340A5A1B1B093B3B01170E1F4D3936362C2131080A0420000728595D51675D5A5A2C136072647E7B5F56575D753A125A031E00741B0B1E1E436D3B363C6F0F0E080E7A5744445E5E50665D525E51/index.htm

[Speddy @ Dec 28th 2007 9:49AM]

Too bad she didn't wrap BJ in tinfoil...

[Andrew @ Dec 28th 2007 9:52AM]

She kinda looks like she's from Florida...

[Jeff @ Dec 28th 2007 10:27AM]

Welcome to Hell, Danielle Santino.

Man, whether or not you really believe in the afterlife, there are some things you just don't do. I mean you gotta at least cover all your bases just in case, right?

[nerdtalker @ Dec 28th 2007 12:42PM]

How stupid can you be, first of all for stealing a baby jesus (c'mon, you just scored yourself a one way ticket to hell, even if you don't believe in that), and second, this was on EVERY SINGLE MAJOR TECH NEWS SITE...

So stupid.

[ethana2 @ Dec 28th 2007 4:01PM]

That's what I was thinking too. She does have an internet connection, right?

[NovaLand @ Dec 28th 2007 5:46PM]

"LARC-THEFT IS 300 OR MORE BUT LESS THAN 5000 DOLS"
They probably meant "Less than 5000 dolls".

I wonder what would happen if she stole more than 5000 baby jesus dolls?

[AJ in the East Bay @ Dec 29th 2007 2:34AM]

@NovaLand:

I hope you are kidding, because DOLS is a not-often used but valid abbreviation for DOLLARS, not DOLLS.

[Fesh @ Jan 4th 2008 2:07PM]

wth do you mean 'even if you don't believe in that'?

Religion is false, there is no god, there is no heaven, there is no hell. Belief is irrelevant, either way.

[strider_mt2k @ Dec 28th 2007 8:14AM]

To bad she wasn't hit by a clue.

[Andrew @ Dec 28th 2007 10:09AM]

With a face like that, I'm sure she was hit by a clue in more than one way.

[NovaLand @ Dec 28th 2007 7:31PM]

...But she was probably hit by Clu-perger.

[Rev. Matt oxley @ Dec 28th 2007 8:16AM]

too bad thats the largest freaking newborn i have ever seen.


Jesus was 3 years old when he was born it seems

[Ghen @ Dec 28th 2007 8:23AM]

"immaculate conception" takes on a whole new meaning.

[drakono @ Dec 28th 2007 9:01AM]

Although they are called "nativity" scenes, most have the wise men there -- who, as I understand, were supposed to have shown up some time (many months or even a few years) after the birth. So, the fact that he's still portrayed in a manger is the troublesome aspect, not his age.

[Ryan Trevisol @ Dec 28th 2007 9:18AM]

@Drakono: ding ding ding! We have a winner! Joseph and Mary were in a house when the wise men came and offered gifts. Don't forget too that the "wise men" were actually Herod's "wise guys" sent to find Jesus.

Which brings me to my next question. The chick that took it, her dad wasn't an Italian governor or anything, was he? ;)

[Jake @ Dec 28th 2007 9:48AM]

I like the Christmas Jesus the best. Little 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet.

[Kris @ Dec 28th 2007 4:32PM]

Ghen, I know you were just joking, but the "immaculate conception" doesn't refer to the birth of Jesus. It refers to Mary supposedly being born without original sin. (LOL, I can't seem to get all those annoying Catholic school details out of my brain no matter how hard I try.)

[Robert Jacobson @ Dec 28th 2007 6:38PM]

He was also apparently a blond kid from Scandinavia. What a Christmas miracle!

[DJWhiplash2001 @ Dec 28th 2007 8:16AM]

She found Jesus, that's all. Her pastor was happy I'm sure.

[Jonathan-DBOSS @ Dec 28th 2007 1:04PM]

Jesus Christ!

[CB @ Dec 28th 2007 8:27AM]

Is this for real?
They are equipping a Baby Jesus statue with GPS reciever and cellphone module to relay back the position, plus batteries to power it for a reasonable length of time, when they could just freakin well bolt the bugger to the floor.
Doesn't anyone want to steal the Donkey FFS?
Why do they always take BJ? It's enough to make him cry.

[drakono @ Dec 28th 2007 8:56AM]

"Last year they tried bolting down the figures, to no avail...."

[Neo @ Dec 28th 2007 3:28PM]

CB, for the win.


I was wondering when it was gonna get said. Snerk.

[Justin E @ Dec 28th 2007 8:32AM]

I like that the post is tagged "baby jesus" and "BabyJesus". Before you click, there aren't any other posts with those tags. Engadget always covers its bases.

[dennis @ Dec 28th 2007 8:58AM]

I think engadget is correctly aware of the high likelihood that Baby Jesus theft + tracking technology is a potent cultural combo. It contains the possibility of all kinds of techno-social escalation as well. Kind of like the nuclear arms race. Kind of.

It would be good to get a (probably distorted) psychological profile on Baby Jesus thieves out of all this. My top three hypotheses: 1. because of hidden anti-Christian sentiments; 2. because of resentment stemming from the 'holiday blues'; 3. because Baby Jesus is the ultimate baby.

[Jason Cox @ Dec 28th 2007 8:36AM]

Is anyone else thinking that the Baby Jesus statue looks a bit like Julius Caesar- just smaller?

[Rev. Matt oxley @ Dec 28th 2007 8:52AM]

now we know where Jesus really came from....

[PSM @ Dec 28th 2007 8:48AM]

Awesome followup. My first thought upon reading the first article was that they were stupid for giving away the secret that the statue has GPS in it -- that will only make the thieves take precautions, like removing or disabling the GPS as soon as they steal it.

I'm glad to see the word hadn't spread that far and some dumbass got caught. I also think it's really funny that the value of the GPS system bumps it up to grand theft.

[gadjitfreek @ Dec 28th 2007 8:52AM]

So now we're Lo-Jackin' Jesus. Wow. Was she charged with Grand Theft Savior? God is probably laughing her butt off right about now.

Or we could start booby-trapping our nativity scenes...load the Baby Jesus onto the same weight-contraption that Indiana Jones failed to beat, and have the same result. It could be marketed under the name of Danger Manger and have the final step be a giant rock that squashes the offender. "If ya wanna take 'er, be prepared to meet yer maker!"

[chris @ Dec 28th 2007 11:14AM]

who says god's a woman?!

[zabador @ Dec 28th 2007 12:13PM]

@chris
Kevin Smith says so - for more information on this joke please pick up Dogma at your local video rental location

[Bob S. @ Dec 28th 2007 12:34PM]

Joke? If you're going to believe in fairy tales, you can certainly come up with your own suppositions of gender and whatnot, but just because one version of a novel specifies that a deity has a penis, there's no need to assume that 1) it's true or 2) other versions do.

[gadjitfreek @ Dec 28th 2007 12:43PM]

I completely agree. IF there is a creator, it is more likely to my mind that said creator would be female. Or gay. Ooh, wouldn't that put a lot of people's knickers in a bunch if that turned out to be true???

Dogma was a great movie. Heck, still is!

[Wwhat @ Dec 28th 2007 3:38PM]

If there were some super being who created everything, why would it need genitals? that's for creatures who couple you know, and those would come in two's or more.
(although in the judeo-christian bible the god character actually acknowledges that there are other gods, but that's not important to this little interchange)

[Neo @ Dec 28th 2007 3:47PM]

Grand Theft Savior. I nearly ruptured my spleen laughing. Thanks. I needed that today.


Also: rock on. Dogma is one of the five greatest movies in the history of the world. If She were god, I'd certainly be an acolyte.... or MUCH more likely than the version there is now.

[gadjitfreek @ Dec 28th 2007 3:46PM]

Just like Adam and Eve likely don't have navels!!! Very interesting point. Of course, South Park shows God to be a small green hippo-looking monster. Maybe they know something... :)

[XenoX101 @ Dec 28th 2007 9:49PM]

If I could vote you higher...

[jbodar @ Jan 4th 2008 3:37PM]

@gadjitfreek

That is not dead which can eternally lie, And with strange eons even death may die.
http://www.cafepress.com/macgregors/1123328

[LinuxIdiot @ Dec 28th 2007 8:53AM]

I wanna know what is wrong with her picture. Her mouth looks almost too small and she has chipmunk cheeks 0_o

Wonder if she thought, "Oh Baby Jesus, you will looks so cute decorating my bed when it is made!"

[Andrew @ Dec 28th 2007 9:57AM]

I said it earlier, she looks like she's from Florida.

[Erick @ Dec 28th 2007 8:55AM]

I think it's sad that the very presence of a nativity scene brings the worst out of some people and brings them to steal it.

[Technex @ Dec 28th 2007 9:01AM]

This made my day. We all knew it was coming... ;)

[Kris @ Dec 28th 2007 9:08AM]

So does that mean if I jam a diamond inside my Snickers bar and you steal it, it's grand theft? :)

[Andrew @ Dec 28th 2007 9:47AM]

No, it means I sue you for the surgery to remove the diamond from my colon.

[DJDevine @ Dec 28th 2007 9:14AM]

who the hell wants to steal a baby jesus? its some kid too... i would try and steal a game, or a whole console, maybe a tv. cars even have their benefits. u can get 500 bucks for a car no questions asked if u know the right people. a baby jesus... the girl really deserved to be locked up for being a complete waste of 9 months

[webon @ Dec 28th 2007 9:18AM]

All I can say is ... yes you guessed it JESUS!

[Paul @ Dec 28th 2007 9:20AM]

Hmm... Does anyone else remember hearing stories of lawn ornaments being stolen then taken round the world with pictures being sent back to the owner of the ornament in strange locations?

I am thinking something similar for this, hijack it, put it in a lead lined container, then ship it around the world, breifly take it out of its box long enough for the tracker to report a position, then stick it back in and ship it somewhere else.

I think it would be pretty funny for the tracker to report that baby jesus had gone to Rome, then he was in Tibet, then stopping in South Africa, back in Canada, then suddenly popping back up in the nativity in time for next christmas.

[bjrcboy @ Dec 28th 2007 12:29PM]

Thats what Amelie did with her fathers lawn gnome in the movie, "Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain" Its a great movie by the way.