Since Microsoft knew you were tired of having your holiday break marred by the annoyingly frequent news of Xbox Live outages, they've decided to redefine the verbage, newspeak style. Apparently the term "Status: Up and running" has now been expanded to include a laundry list of "intermittent issue" caveats some users might be experiencing, including but not limited to trouble with: "Tournaments, Storage Downloads, Gamer Tile, Statistics through Arbitration, Match Making, and Messaging." If you're hoping to play Halo 3 or Call of Duty 4 online (you rebel, you) you're most likely even more out of luck. There are also far-reaching problems that trace back to Windows Live IDs, so there's a decent chance that your Zune account is on the fritz at the moment as well. But don't worry, it's all up and running.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

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Xbox Live "up and running," flush with irony