Xbox Live "up and running," flush with irony

Since Microsoft knew you were tired of having your holiday break marred by the annoyingly frequent news of Xbox Live outages, they've decided to redefine the verbage, newspeak style. Apparently the term "Status: Up and running" has now been expanded to include a laundry list of "intermittent issue" caveats some users might be experiencing, including but not limited to trouble with: "Tournaments, Storage Downloads, Gamer Tile, Statistics through Arbitration, Match Making, and Messaging." If you're hoping to play Halo 3 or Call of Duty 4 online (you rebel, you) you're most likely even more out of luck. There are also far-reaching problems that trace back to Windows Live IDs, so there's a decent chance that your Zune account is on the fritz at the moment as well. But don't worry, it's all up and running.

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

[Bryan Thornsberry @ Dec 29th 2007 7:22PM]

Word, my girlfriend has been at home trying to play Halo 3, and she said the wait time is like 12 minutes just to get a match. But... tis the season...

[Jose Rodriguez @ Dec 30th 2007 5:04AM]

yeah earlier today me and friends were having trouble on COD4 over XBL. they said its been acting up for the last couple of dayz. it took 5-10 mins to get into a game but once you get into room and get rolling it was smooth sailing. oh well i hope some ppl learn from this and realize how good we have most of the time in our lives.

[Temple @ Dec 30th 2007 2:14AM]

Its been sporadic for me since Christmas, and I've have had problems tonight as well. Hope they fix this soon, my subscription is almost up and I may just let it expire until they fix these issues. No point paying for something I can't use.

[bl0nde @ Dec 30th 2007 6:01AM]

Go and give your girlfriend something else to keep her occupied then. You have 12 mins to kill after all...

[ssuk @ Dec 30th 2007 9:06AM]

Chick: "Damn XBL is down"
Dude: "Well, I'm sure we can't find something to do while we wait..."
Chick: "No, Dave."
Dude: "Please?"
Chick: "We'll play local co-op"
Dude: "I hate you Halo. I hate you."

[mattclarkie @ Dec 30th 2007 10:18AM]

Today was fine, but yesterday I had a lot of trouble getting matches in the evening. I waited 15mins for one match, and gave up and changed playlist. Ranked was easier to get a match than Social. But they still took 8-12 mins each.

[Mike @ Dec 29th 2007 7:28PM]

Pac-man left one dot.

[cereal @ Dec 29th 2007 7:31PM]

I heard from the support that it should be fine by tomorrow afternoon, let's all hope.

[Lorenzo @ Dec 29th 2007 8:07PM]

I finally buy my own xbox and I can't even recover my account to it. Earlier I was able to get to the point where it would at least attempt to download my account to my box but now I put my gamertag in and it says "it doesn't exist."

Some sort of compensation does seem in order.

[Temple @ Dec 30th 2007 2:40AM]

I was told the same thing several days ago by support. They told me they are "adding new servers". I think its just a canned response since I'm sure a horde of people are calling.

[dutch @ Jan 2nd 2008 1:02PM]

Connectivity is an "issue." Subscriptions are an "issue." The war, abortion, environment, etc. are "issues." An issue is a general topic that can be discussed and debated.
Not being able to connect? That's called a "problem" or an "error." Server is dead or the database is jammed? Those are "problems." People don't experience "issues," they talk about them. They do experience "problems." Too bad MS can't bring themselves to admit that.
Don't fall into this trap. You're not having issues. You're having problems.

[Luigi193 @ Dec 29th 2007 7:31PM]

uZ alz hatttes Microsoft!!! u Wuldnt bee doingn this to aPple!!!

[scott @ Dec 30th 2007 12:45AM]

wtf are you saying?!

[rockstar @ Dec 30th 2007 4:23AM]

we're not mario, so please use english

[nak @ Dec 29th 2007 7:32PM]

Why do they make it so hard to read? How about a solid background and a non-bold typeface at least.

[computer.dude.28 @ Dec 29th 2007 8:11PM]

I was just about to say that. That background is fine when it says Up and Running or w/e (I can't even REMEMBER what it says when it's all good.. it's been so long) but with so much text it's really hard to read. As if xbox users aren't ALREADY pissed off, lets help by making our poor excuses hard to read.

[nojok3 @ Dec 29th 2007 11:49PM]

They don't want us to be able to read it :]

[Flashpoint @ Dec 29th 2007 7:35PM]

Im on Call of Duty 4 right now and my connection is F*cked Up!.

[JulianDel @ Dec 29th 2007 7:40PM]

Whoops! I guess that's what hapens when one tries to leave a comment from a PC using Internet Exploder...

[Connor @ Dec 29th 2007 7:46PM]

I have not been able to recover my gamer tag since Thursday night. I can even play my off line saved game files.

[James @ Dec 30th 2007 10:11AM]

If I use my upstairs 360 (the one that has the purchased content under my girlfriend's ID) with my profile being on a memory card... the downloaded games crash HARD. The first time it happened I thought my machine was going out (since the machine locks) or that my account was fried... of course checking on the website it showed no record of my account (since they were having issues!)

The whole idea about accounts and locking content to accounts is stupid as crap to me. Esp. with two 360s in the house. I don't want to balance points, save games and characters like a full time sysadmin! I just want to turn on my machine and play a game!

[iiviip3 @ Dec 29th 2007 7:43PM]

Yesterday my friend and I played Halo 3 with some connection issues at first but between 6pm and 3am everything seemed fine. During that time my brother was playing Call of Duty 4 online for several hours as well. Today I have had the dreaded "Restarting Search" in Halo 3 ranked team slayer playlists intermittently. It currently says the population is 25,204 for this particular match which is quite low. I did see the message posted here yesterday but it wasn't nearly as long! I hope the issues are worked out shortly but I have been playing without any troubles maybe...70% of the time over the past 2 days.

[Rk @ Dec 29th 2007 7:44PM]

Yeah this is a bit silly now. I'm a big XBox 360 fan(boy) :P but I do think we're all entitled to some compensation. 1000 free MS points, anyone?

[Whitesoxfan5622 @ Dec 29th 2007 11:42PM]

I agree. Im paying 50 dollars a year, just to not be able to play. Either a month of live free or at least 1000 ms points

[XiozTzu @ Dec 29th 2007 7:51PM]

Can MS do anything right? What is so hard about I sold X Xbox so now I need Y servers.

[Towncivilian @ Dec 29th 2007 8:00PM]

Their calculators can't divide by zero, they can't do the math.

[David W. @ Dec 29th 2007 8:02PM]

This is SERIOUSLY getting stupid. They're a multi-billion dollar company and they can't fix something like this? If it were a free service then okay, I could understand it...but we're paying customers so like others I feel we deserve some kind of compensation...I would like a free arcade game of our choosing, so that would be what 800 points?

[PeterF @ Dec 29th 2007 8:09PM]

800 points is $10. A week of live 95 cents.

[cereal @ Dec 29th 2007 8:12PM]

I doubt they will give us anything, unless it is some extra xbox live time.

[David W. @ Dec 29th 2007 8:31PM]

@Peter, it's not about that though, it's about keeping their customers satisfied. Plus it's not like those points actually cost them $10.

@Cereal, I would be surprised if they didn't do something, adding a week to everyones subscription would be the obvious thing.

[haloz24 @ Dec 30th 2007 12:13PM]

Well maybe it is because so many people are still trying to play.

[Stu @ Dec 29th 2007 8:30PM]

I called support and first got an overseas call bank. Called back and got an nice guy who confirmed that there are major troubles a-brewing, but it should be fixed in the next 24. It doesn't take brains to predict that people would want to play over winter holidays. Seems to this Xbox fanboy that Live is cutting $ome corners. Very disappointed.

[Anthony @ Dec 29th 2007 9:05PM]

Not necessarily. This holiday season may have exceeded even their best expectations. I know it was bad the week Halo 3 was released but they did resolve it relatively quickly.

I agree with people saying they should have planned better, hopefully this opens their eyes to what needs to be done for next year.

I'd be interested to see what their figures are on concurrent connections this week compared to last year and the weeks leading to this. I doubt they'll ever share that though.

Compensation wise, maybe a free month? I don't know, the way their payment plan is structured most people are probably upset because they JUST spent 50 bucks (or whatever it is), where I spent that back in July for renewal, so for me it isn't as much of a "I just wasted money!" issue. Enough complaints though and odds are they will compensate someway. I'd rather get free points or whatever, maybe get a free song or two for GH or an arcade game. *shrug*

[Joseph @ Dec 29th 2007 8:11PM]

I was able to go on XBOX live to get my ass owned in Halo 3 on the 28th. I didnt have any issues when i logged in since i went on at about 12:30pm and ended at 2:00pm. i didnt find anything to be out of the ordinary. I just got my 360, so when i found out that my connection was crap today, I freaked out that my 360 was faulty. I was going to return it. But i realize that this is something Microsoft has to deal with. Jesus Christ, I got my 360 three days ago. I at least want to enjoy my first free month of gold.

[The Grand Master @ Dec 29th 2007 8:15PM]

I love how Xbox live is the only online gaming platform you need to pay for, and the time of year its going to be busiest, it crashes, brilliant...

Do they even add the number of days its been down to the subscription length of those affected?

[PeterF @ Dec 29th 2007 8:22PM]

Just stop whining for a couple of cents. If you get need such a small amount that badly, maybe you shouldn't have a 360.

[Rk @ Dec 29th 2007 8:29PM]

Peter, I don't think it's about the small amount of money it's worth but rather the usage we have missed out on. Yes, we can fill our spare time with other endeavours, however we have an Xbox because we enjoy using it. If your gym closed down for a week because of an issue they should have been able to fix in a few hours, wouldn't you be a bit annoyed?

[The Grand Master @ Dec 29th 2007 8:38PM]

RK has understood what I was saying much better than you have PeterF. Xbox live is providing you with a service, and considering the amount of trouble they've been having over the past few days I think those paying for the service have a right to be pissed off. Its the christmas vacation, I'm pretty sure a lot of people have bought new subscriptions as christmas gifts.

As the only paid gaming service, you should get what you pay for, a working service, and the amount of time you have lost due to server problems added on to the end of your subscription. If you've paid for 6 months Xbox live, and its broken for 2 weeks, you haven't had the 6 months you paid for, you should get reimbursed for the time lost.

[Chaj @ Dec 31st 2007 10:13PM]

PeterF, you need to realize that this is prime time for A LOT of folks to play their new games that they got during X-mas on XBox Live due to Winter Break/Vacation from work. Any other time of the year most people are busy and don't have as many opportunities to veg out in front of their TVs playing games.

[Neon Jebus @ Dec 29th 2007 10:49PM]

Well PeterF, since you want to take that route...

I can't play XBL Arcade titles I have purchased and own. All 50 of them.

I have the money, and I PAID the money. And since I PAID for an Elite system and moved my content from my old Premium to it, now I can't play stuff I own.

Because they are screwing up...AGAIN.

So save the 'stop being a whiner' talk. Some of us are being barred from content we purchased and in that case we have a right to be upset about it.

[Temple @ Dec 30th 2007 2:33AM]

Oddly enough I've resorted to playing COD4 online on my roommate's PS3 since its not working on my XBL. Created my own login and account and everything.

What's also odd is that during the Halo 3 launch when a massive flux of people were online, MS didn't have these problems. The service was running smooth as silk.

What's sad is that there are going to be a ton of people that have purchased the 360 this holiday season, and these people won't upgrade the Silver account due to so many problems with this service in this isolated period of time.

[Tyler @ Dec 29th 2007 8:25PM]

My bro's 360 has had no Xbox Live issues.

[Rob @ Dec 29th 2007 8:26PM]

I turn on my XBOX, it connects to XBOX Live, tells me which friends are online and then...tells me to sign into XBOX Live. I tried that about 20 times (must've been fun seeing me sign on that many times in about 5 minutes for those friends), gave up and checked the news.

Bah!

[Brad B @ Dec 29th 2007 8:34PM]

This is the exact same issue I am having. :(

[jonah @ Dec 29th 2007 8:27PM]

I'm pretty ticked about the whole thing. I don't get a lot of time to veg out in front of the xbox and play all my new christmas games save just for a week or so arond the new year.

I haven't been able to even play my single-player games offline for the last few days. y'all can tell me to get a life or whatever, and that's fine. but for a guy who loves his videogame time, this is pretty lame.

however, I have filled the void by logging onto the xboxlive.com forums and laughing at the posts from all the people who are making death threats and saying they want to "blow up microsoft". at least I'm not that desperate.

(...yet)

[Macha88 @ Dec 29th 2007 8:29PM]

So more like its up and running in an electric wheelchair.

[ToonPac @ Dec 29th 2007 10:00PM]

At least those give a smooth ride =P

[Macha88 @ Dec 30th 2007 3:17PM]

Missing a wheel.

[Stu @ Dec 29th 2007 8:31PM]

Call. This. Number.

Xbox Live Customer Service 1-800-469-9269

[pathogen @ Dec 29th 2007 8:58PM]

Why? They can't pull up your customer information right now.