Crapgadget CES edition, round 2: the MP5 player

When four MPs aren't enough... now with RealPlayer support!

[michas_pi @ Jan 10th 2008 7:24AM]

Now with RealPlaye-BUFFERING...

[Jonathan Bergeron @ Jan 10th 2008 3:24PM]

that's hilarious

[Trock @ Jan 10th 2008 11:02PM]

All your MP4 players are belong to us!

[DarkAardvark @ Jan 13th 2008 10:51AM]

@theom
my dad was telling me about mp5 players when he went to china in '04

[wompa164 @ Jan 15th 2008 3:57PM]

Hahahahaha

[Technex @ Jan 10th 2008 7:25AM]

Download & play, bitches!

[supermeerkat @ Jan 10th 2008 7:48AM]

MP5? That's one better than MP4, so it must be good.

[paperless @ Jan 10th 2008 8:02AM]

yeah i started to count the minutes until someone actually says that to me for the first time -_-'

[Lumpmoose @ Jan 10th 2008 7:56AM]

Seriously, how did a Chinese street vendor get a booth at CES?

[ketyung @ Jan 10th 2008 7:58AM]

By adding a real player support, so it's considered an upgrade from 4 to 5 now?

[kakapo @ Jan 10th 2008 8:03AM]

INTERNAL MEMO - Rename CRAP Player to MP5 Player...
Production run - 5 units
Marketing - offer special grass cutter deal at CES
Include cute little laminated mini-brochure to anyone who buys them all
Sucker from Venezuela buys all of them - convinced this is better than sliced bread and peanut butter!
Report 100 % sales stats to press...

head line:

CrapOla Player sells 100% of production run at CES... most suck-sessful opportunity in Vegas this week!

Team staying for fun and frolics at next weeks special events! (If you don't know what that is, then you have NEVER been to CES)!

:)

[Miguel Coletta @ Jan 11th 2008 12:08AM]

what the hell? why venezuela? invent one like crapland or something like that.

[steve @ Jan 10th 2008 8:03AM]

I want MP6! cos that will be twice as good as MP3

[superted @ Jan 10th 2008 8:13AM]

sadly that's the type of thing my mother would actually say

[Tim Brown @ Jan 10th 2008 9:19AM]

I want MP9, that would be 3x better than MP3 ;)

[jeeesus @ Jan 10th 2008 11:35AM]

tooo far mate :)

[Farris @ Jan 10th 2008 1:47PM]

Damn. I'm still using my OLD MP1.5 player. I seriously need to upgrade. Do you know when the new MP6 player will come out?

[Matt @ Jan 11th 2008 1:13AM]

No I SAID MP5 Player! MP6, that's just wrong!

[andrew @ Jan 17th 2008 5:37PM]

LOL cuz mp3 x2 = mp6

[Davedave @ Jan 10th 2008 8:40AM]

so does this function as a 9mm submachine gun AND a DAP? sign me up.

[DCGUY12 @ Jan 10th 2008 10:03AM]

MP5's from H&K come in 9MM, 40 & 45 caliber.

[danny @ Jan 10th 2008 10:26AM]

Your Googling skills have astounded everyone. Thank you.

[mushrooshi @ Jan 10th 2008 9:00AM]

Well.

Considering my and my dad know electronics quality, they won't let my mom touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Honestly, she rents movies but doesn't know whats in it.

She got "Knocked Up, Unrated and Uncut edition" for my little sister, who is 11 by the way.

Then we returned it as soon as I told her "Knocked Up" is slang for humpy time.

[James Yopp @ Jan 10th 2008 9:14AM]

Knocked up is slang for pregnancy (esp. unintended), kn00b. "Bumpin' Uglies" would be an example of slang for humpy time. All inappropriate for an 11-year-old girl, but your Mom needs straight facts if she's gonna navigate the modern world.

[caspianhiro @ Jan 10th 2008 10:08AM]

Maybe electricity isn't for everyone...

[namtastic @ Jan 10th 2008 1:26PM]

Not to forget, but "unrated and uncut" *also* means something! >:D

[Chad @ Jan 11th 2008 8:49AM]

I feel dumber for having read that....

[rn_itan @ Jan 13th 2008 9:47PM]

I think she's referring to the "Knocked up" movie...suckers!

have some potatoes for breakfast.

[Raheem @ Jan 10th 2008 9:25AM]

Lovely stuff.

[Viakenny @ Jan 10th 2008 9:38AM]

here in Brazil, there are some Chinese "MP5" players, but they're actually PMPs with cameras.

[Yo Howdy @ Jan 10th 2008 9:53AM]

This one goes to 11.

[James @ Jan 10th 2008 9:56AM]

Uhm.. yeah... uhm... am I the only one who thought "no way, finally I can rake all that realplayer porn with me to work!!!"? Please tell me I'm not... please?

[James @ Jan 10th 2008 9:56AM]

Rake, take.. all the same..

[Hooterman @ Jan 10th 2008 10:04AM]

Are you that emotionally attached to porn you downloaded 10 years ago that you want to make it portable?

If there's a site that is still only offering realplayer downloads please report them to the Internet Police

[DCGUY12 @ Jan 10th 2008 10:04AM]

James: Realplayer porn?

[James @ Jan 10th 2008 10:06AM]

Porn in realplayer format... hello...

I mean... yeah I think someone else posted that. . .

[Donal Maher @ Jan 10th 2008 10:11AM]

And here was me thinking mp5 would be a portable hologram player. Ah well. Real Player support is almost the same............

[J @ Jan 10th 2008 10:26AM]

While I agree these players are cheap, repulsive, generic garbage, I can see the appeal of Real support for a market such as China. RMVB encoding is very popular in China for P2P video sharing. Their rmvb is our divx.

[bachviet @ Jan 10th 2008 11:36AM]

I am going to buy it and use it for my target practice with a real MP5.

[Ricardo @ Jan 10th 2008 5:54PM]

And what does the grass symbolize? That they were smoking some when they invented it?

[cheezstake @ Jan 10th 2008 8:21PM]

So going on this strain of thinking, I am all for their upcoming MP13. It plays DivX, xVid, Real, WMV, MP3, MP4 and 8-track and features a Kodak Disk camera as well!

These knock off are getting insane...

[Dale @ Jan 10th 2008 8:44PM]

So....it plays submachineguns?

[Brian @ Jan 10th 2008 9:20PM]

Does it fire 9mm bullets, too?

[boingo @ Jan 11th 2008 12:11AM]

This reminds me of a bootleg Win 98 product I saw in Viet Nam: They had named it: "Windows 99!" 'cause they thought that was one better...

[nmason @ Jan 11th 2008 8:01AM]

I have it on good authority that this DAP only plays media in 3 round bursts, is easily silenced, and is preferred by counter-terror units across the globe over the competitor's UMP-45 DAP.

[huha @ Jan 13th 2008 12:06PM]

yea well at my work i use the mp5 i wish thay would use the chineese version then i can listen to my tunes while i walk around the airport looking for coke smuglers :D

[huha @ Jan 13th 2008 12:07PM]

edit: coke smuglers are probly the same poeple who invented that crap :D

[aleks @ Jan 14th 2008 7:04AM]

Just wait until the MPX starts hunting Sarah Connor.

[emmey @ Jan 14th 2008 3:18PM]

Hmmm, It doesn't look like earlier versions of the MP5...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heckler_&_Koch_MP5

[pheer6224 @ Jan 18th 2008 11:15AM]

give me MPpi. I don't want to ask for too much.