Crapgadget CES edition, round 2: the MP5 player
By Joshua Topolsky 
posted Jan 10th 2008 7:18AM
posted Jan 10th 2008 7:18AM
When four MPs aren't enough... now with RealPlayer support!
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Now with RealPlaye-BUFFERING...
that's hilarious
All your MP4 players are belong to us!
@theom
my dad was telling me about mp5 players when he went to china in '04
Hahahahaha
Download & play, bitches!
MP5? That's one better than MP4, so it must be good.
yeah i started to count the minutes until someone actually says that to me for the first time -_-'
Seriously, how did a Chinese street vendor get a booth at CES?
By adding a real player support, so it's considered an upgrade from 4 to 5 now?
INTERNAL MEMO - Rename CRAP Player to MP5 Player...
Production run - 5 units
Marketing - offer special grass cutter deal at CES
Include cute little laminated mini-brochure to anyone who buys them all
Sucker from Venezuela buys all of them - convinced this is better than sliced bread and peanut butter!
Report 100 % sales stats to press...
head line:
CrapOla Player sells 100% of production run at CES... most suck-sessful opportunity in Vegas this week!
Team staying for fun and frolics at next weeks special events! (If you don't know what that is, then you have NEVER been to CES)!
:)
what the hell? why venezuela? invent one like crapland or something like that.
I want MP6! cos that will be twice as good as MP3
sadly that's the type of thing my mother would actually say
I want MP9, that would be 3x better than MP3 ;)
tooo far mate :)
Damn. I'm still using my OLD MP1.5 player. I seriously need to upgrade. Do you know when the new MP6 player will come out?
No I SAID MP5 Player! MP6, that's just wrong!
LOL cuz mp3 x2 = mp6
so does this function as a 9mm submachine gun AND a DAP? sign me up.
MP5's from H&K come in 9MM, 40 & 45 caliber.
Your Googling skills have astounded everyone. Thank you.
Well.
Considering my and my dad know electronics quality, they won't let my mom touch it with a 10 foot pole.
Honestly, she rents movies but doesn't know whats in it.
She got "Knocked Up, Unrated and Uncut edition" for my little sister, who is 11 by the way.
Then we returned it as soon as I told her "Knocked Up" is slang for humpy time.
Knocked up is slang for pregnancy (esp. unintended), kn00b. "Bumpin' Uglies" would be an example of slang for humpy time. All inappropriate for an 11-year-old girl, but your Mom needs straight facts if she's gonna navigate the modern world.
Maybe electricity isn't for everyone...
Not to forget, but "unrated and uncut" *also* means something! >:D
I feel dumber for having read that....
I think she's referring to the "Knocked up" movie...suckers!
have some potatoes for breakfast.
Lovely stuff.
here in Brazil, there are some Chinese "MP5" players, but they're actually PMPs with cameras.
This one goes to 11.
Uhm.. yeah... uhm... am I the only one who thought "no way, finally I can rake all that realplayer porn with me to work!!!"? Please tell me I'm not... please?
Rake, take.. all the same..
Are you that emotionally attached to porn you downloaded 10 years ago that you want to make it portable?
If there's a site that is still only offering realplayer downloads please report them to the Internet Police
James: Realplayer porn?
Porn in realplayer format... hello...
I mean... yeah I think someone else posted that. . .
And here was me thinking mp5 would be a portable hologram player. Ah well. Real Player support is almost the same............
While I agree these players are cheap, repulsive, generic garbage, I can see the appeal of Real support for a market such as China. RMVB encoding is very popular in China for P2P video sharing. Their rmvb is our divx.
I am going to buy it and use it for my target practice with a real MP5.
And what does the grass symbolize? That they were smoking some when they invented it?
So going on this strain of thinking, I am all for their upcoming MP13. It plays DivX, xVid, Real, WMV, MP3, MP4 and 8-track and features a Kodak Disk camera as well!
These knock off are getting insane...
So....it plays submachineguns?
Does it fire 9mm bullets, too?
This reminds me of a bootleg Win 98 product I saw in Viet Nam: They had named it: "Windows 99!" 'cause they thought that was one better...
I have it on good authority that this DAP only plays media in 3 round bursts, is easily silenced, and is preferred by counter-terror units across the globe over the competitor's UMP-45 DAP.
yea well at my work i use the mp5 i wish thay would use the chineese version then i can listen to my tunes while i walk around the airport looking for coke smuglers :D
edit: coke smuglers are probly the same poeple who invented that crap :D
Just wait until the MPX starts hunting Sarah Connor.
Hmmm, It doesn't look like earlier versions of the MP5...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heckler_&_Koch_MP5
give me MPpi. I don't want to ask for too much.