The Shaken Baby doll: funny, not funny ha ha

The absurdity of that photo is usurped only by the stupidity of those who think that shaking a baby is effective child rearing. Enter the re-purposed (and tricked out) $28,200 crash test dummy which the University of Oslo will use to better understand the trauma inflicted on an estimated 2,000 shaken babies each year in the US -- half of whom die, the other half suffering brain damage. If research is successful, the resulting forensic evidence will help prosecute those guilty of this senseless abuse while defending those wrongly accused. Fine, now could somebody please research the trauma inflicted on babies dressed like iPods? That can't be good.

[webon @ Jan 15th 2008 5:57AM]

I say punishment for the guilty should be to be shaken the shit out of, till they are dead, dead, DEAD

[webnfo @ Jan 15th 2008 6:16AM]

agreed! by some pneumatic machine that accounts for weight, size, and age. calculates the power ratio based on those measurements, then adjust the force accordingly. thus virtually translating any adult as an infant and the machine as an adult. commence punishment!

[Galley @ Jan 15th 2008 8:28AM]

Yeah, they need to modify one of those paint can-shaking machines for those bastards.

[spyder91 @ Jan 15th 2008 11:37AM]

Or maybe a "Will it blend?". . .Baby Shaker edition

[Fank @ Jan 15th 2008 6:22AM]

'nother sign of the white man keeping the black man down.

[michas_pi @ Jan 15th 2008 7:58AM]

The race card playeth!

[paul jackson @ Jan 16th 2008 4:59PM]

Of course this baby doll looks black.
It just speaks to the underlying, subconscious racist attitudes AmeriKKKa has.

Look at the participants face alone.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1091431409617440489

[mOe @ Jan 15th 2008 6:49AM]

I'd say it's certainly not the only answer, but then that leads to the question of where we draw the line on what actually constitutes murder. Murder is really defined as unlawful killing with some sort of cognitive reasoning to be able to tell what you're doing. These parents may have not been prepared for a baby, but they certainly are aware of the fact that they are shaking their kids until they stop crying/moving.

Is killing your own child when you are aware of what you are doing and capable of making a cognitive decision right in any circumstance? I would say no, and I personally think these people should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. If they weren't, it would allow them the opportunity to do it again. Education beforehand would be the best preventative measure (and that's a whole other discussion), but when there is a dead or brain dead child, that point is mute.

[Icelander @ Jan 16th 2008 12:09PM]

My wife and I had a baby about three months ago. She's the sweetest, most wonderful thing I can imagine, but raising her is also the hardest thing I've ever done. The worst part is the sleep deprivation - you don't know what you're doing.

While I'm sure there are horrible people who simply get so angry they shake their baby, I'm sure most cases are ones where normally loving parents are psychologically broken by sleep deprivation, a torture method used by the CIA and FBI on terrorist suspects, and do something horrible when they're really not themselves.

[CB @ Jan 15th 2008 7:35AM]

How come babies are so freakin annoying to the parents?
Everyone I know has said at some point they have felt like slapping a crying baby.
How come babies didn't evolve to be a little less annoying, surely before legal consequence they all got a good slap.
You wouldn't think that being insanely annoying to the people charged with supporting your life would be a good idea, another mystery of evolution I guess.
OK it may need food, but babies seem to cry every time the slightest thing doesn't suit them...you know like spoiled brats.

[senshi @ Jan 23rd 2008 11:46AM]

I don't know... maybe because they are babies?

[xaml @ Jan 15th 2008 8:27AM]

Come that you probably are not a parent and for the love of god hopefully never will be. There's what is called 'love' and 'commitment', such as 'responsibility in favor of a human being unable to survive without help', which 'powers' people with a moderate to high emotional intelligence.

[Schmolle @ Jan 15th 2008 8:36AM]

As a father of three (if all goes well, in two months it'll be four) I can offer the following insight: babies' cries and parents' (subconcious) reaction to it have evolved to be a very powerful emotional connection. The message relayed is 'I need care/food/attention/whatever'. It only becomes the annoyance referred to in this discussion when parents for whatever reason decide not to respond to that message. That is, at least, the mechanism in the bulk of cases, typically involving worn down (say hello to sleep deprivation) parents who claim 'annoyance where " I could almost smack someone, preferably the source of the noise". These people (myself included) will have a mental emergency break, preventing them from ever acting on that very, very real impulse.

Further to your questions/suggestions: babies cry because that is the ONLY way of communicating they have. They can hardly send you an IM when they are mentally dealing with the change of day into night. Or the face of Aunt Mary they have seen for the first time today. Or whatever it is they are going through.

In any case, a slap might seem effective, but it is only so in a similar vein to me winning an argument with you by whacking you with a sledgehammer. Sure, it will shut you up, but it merely demonstrates that something that is effective is not necessarily a good solution.


So ... in a nutshell: babies' cries are able to grab your attention so much because they have evolved to be difficult, if not impossible, to ignore.

[MbZ-buGSy @ Jan 15th 2008 9:21AM]

CB,
Your an idiot and a F***tard!, but you already knew that. You got some major issues, you should have that shit checked out.

[webon @ Jan 15th 2008 9:47AM]

Cant believe people actually tried to explain why your idiotic rant was so stupid

[Andir3.0 @ Jan 15th 2008 11:45AM]

@Schmolle: You can think of it this way as well. You are accustomed to your baby's cries and what they mean (for the most part). Someone outside this close connection has no clue what the baby needs and therefore interprets the crying as annoying. It's the same thing with the language barrier. If your in a mall and everyone around you is speaking another language, you'll likely be self conscious, annoyed, or aggravated that you cannot understand them.

[MbZ-buGSy @ Jan 15th 2008 2:46PM]

Andir or should I say CB,
Wow your amazingly stupid. You had to go and make poppet name/account to explain your idiotic view on the subject. Good going F***tard. Even if you’re not CB you’re as stupid as him/her.

[Andir3.0 @ Jan 15th 2008 3:47PM]

Excuse me? I was basically stating that people outside of a closed relationship don't understand the babies needs, thus causing frustration. I was in no way agreeing with CB. Did you even read my post?

[Emmington @ Jan 15th 2008 7:37AM]

It's "Oslo", not "Olso". University of Oslo.

[Wwhat @ Jan 15th 2008 8:17AM]

If britney can avoid shaking them to death then anybody can I figure.

[Fluidj @ Jan 15th 2008 8:23AM]

ok...EVERY OTHER DUMMY DOLL IS WHITE....crash test dummies, CPR practice dummies, you name a dummy/doll, it's generally white...
WHY the shaken baby dummy gotta be black????

[Luigi193 @ Jan 15th 2008 8:50AM]

Wow... your right...

[Wwhat @ Jan 15th 2008 9:30AM]

Yeah, WTF
I didn't even notice, I'm like colbert I guess, I don't see color ;P

[MbZ-buGSy @ Jan 15th 2008 9:57AM]

Maybe because it doesn’t matter if the shaken baby is black or white. OR, the scientist who designed it is black. And one more thing, this is not a test dummy for target practicing.

[Ladderless @ Jan 15th 2008 10:01AM]

Most crash test dummies I have seen are simply the natural color of the material used. When they are a specific color, they're usually painted a high contrast one (Like yellow or fluorescent pink), so that they show up well in photos and videos.

I don't think it's a race issue at all.

[Andir3.0 @ Jan 15th 2008 11:46AM]

It's only a race issue to those with racist tendencies.

[Wwhat @ Jan 22nd 2008 5:54AM]

Yeah and it's black to those with eyes, and these wonder.

[Tom @ Jan 15th 2008 8:48AM]

I think the crash test baby needs an iPod dock.

[Fall-Apart @ Jan 15th 2008 9:24AM]

New research in Britain and Ontario is overturning a lot of the convictions of "shaken baby" syndrome based on new forensic evidence that seems to show that, in a lot of cases, the shaking isn't what caused the death of the infant (something about the cushioning around the brain). Interesting research, given the timing.

[webon @ Jan 15th 2008 10:06AM]

I think you got it a bit wrong my friend. There are studies, non supported by respectable pediatricians by the way, that say that SBS triad of classic symptoms, can also be caused by "accidental falls" or illness, and because of this the diagnosis should be reconsidered, but that is, to my likings, plain dumb. So in no way is this overturning convictions, hopefully.

[Meltz @ Jan 15th 2008 10:52AM]

This reminds me of those stupid babies we had to carry around in High School for a week. Man, that was not fun. I guess I can wait a few more years before becoming a parent myself

[Salamander Jim @ Jan 15th 2008 11:20AM]

For a healthy snack*:

1. Shake baby vigorously for 30 seconds
2. Peel back the scalp
3. Carefully separate skull segments
4. Remove contents and enjoy






*do not do this

[bw @ Jan 15th 2008 11:38AM]

People with low IQ's seem to have the most children, so I'm not surprised.

[Ben Grimsbo @ Jan 15th 2008 12:20PM]

He looks like John Kerry...

[shansypants @ Jan 15th 2008 1:47PM]

Isn't that the Take Home Chef?