Out of all the computers from PB we sold, about 75% came back as faulty, missing items, damaged, or just fuckin' useless.
Here's how I imagine the board meeting at Acer:
Exec #1: "Hey guys! I just bought us Packard Bell!" Exec #2: "Packard Bell? For Christ's sake, what the hell for?" Exec #3: "And where's our box of Krispy Kremes? We sent you out to get Krispy Kremes and you come back with Packard fucking Bell?" Exec #2: "...and no Krispy Kreme donuts?" Exec #1: "Well, on my way to Krispy Kreme this man came up to me on the street and offered me Packard Bell. It was a real bargain!" Exec #3: "Waitaminute-- You didn't use the Krispy Kreme money to buy Packard Bell, did you?" Exec #1: "Well, yeah. I did! I thought it was a great way to spend it! I thought you'd LIKE having Packard Bell instead of some donuts." Exec #2: "Jesus' balls in a handbasket! You wasted our Krispy Kreme budget on Packard Bell? I can't eat Packard Bell! I can't dunk Packard Bell in my coffee, can I?" Exec #1: "But I thought--" Exec #3: "We sent you to perform a simple errand: Get Krispy Kreme donuts for the board. You couldn't even handle THAT?" Exec #1: "I'm sorry guys. I figured this would be better than Krispy Kreme!" Exec #2: "Well, you figured wrong. You made your bed, now you lie in it. You get to head up Packard Bell and deal with what you've done." Exec #1: "Awww... I thought maybe we could run it together." Exec #2: "No way. You bought it. You get to deal with it. And when you make that shitbox company turn a profit again, you can use the money to BUY US SOME GODDAMN KRISPY KREME, YOU MORON!"
Exec #1: [mopes... shuffles away with the keys to Packard Bell clutched in his hands]
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I used to sell Packard Bell computers.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Out of all the computers from PB we sold, about 75% came back as faulty, missing items, damaged, or just fuckin' useless.
Here's how I imagine the board meeting at Acer:
Exec #1: "Hey guys! I just bought us Packard Bell!"
Exec #2: "Packard Bell? For Christ's sake, what the hell for?"
Exec #3: "And where's our box of Krispy Kremes? We sent you out to get Krispy Kremes and you come back with Packard fucking Bell?"
Exec #2: "...and no Krispy Kreme donuts?"
Exec #1: "Well, on my way to Krispy Kreme this man came up to me on the street and offered me Packard Bell. It was a real bargain!"
Exec #3: "Waitaminute-- You didn't use the Krispy Kreme money to buy Packard Bell, did you?"
Exec #1: "Well, yeah. I did! I thought it was a great way to spend it! I thought you'd LIKE having Packard Bell instead of some donuts."
Exec #2: "Jesus' balls in a handbasket! You wasted our Krispy Kreme budget on Packard Bell? I can't eat Packard Bell! I can't dunk Packard Bell in my coffee, can I?"
Exec #1: "But I thought--"
Exec #3: "We sent you to perform a simple errand: Get Krispy Kreme donuts for the board. You couldn't even handle THAT?"
Exec #1: "I'm sorry guys. I figured this would be better than Krispy Kreme!"
Exec #2: "Well, you figured wrong. You made your bed, now you lie in it. You get to head up Packard Bell and deal with what you've done."
Exec #1: "Awww... I thought maybe we could run it together."
Exec #2: "No way. You bought it. You get to deal with it. And when you make that shitbox company turn a profit again, you can use the money to BUY US SOME GODDAMN KRISPY KREME, YOU MORON!"
Exec #1: [mopes... shuffles away with the keys to Packard Bell clutched in his hands]
lol.
lol. whoo... i havent laughed like this in a while. thanks guys.