Good news, everyone! Remember that Alien-infested, out of control satellite we
told you about a few weeks ago? Well, the US government has finally put together a plan to avoid the civilization-decimating disaster that would have resulted from its impact with Earth: they're gonna blow it up. That's right -- US officials have confirmed that they're going to use modified SM-3 missiles fired from a cruiser and destroyer off the Northwest coast of Hawaii to take the thing out. The weapons have additional fuel and new software which will allow them to reach the object in orbit, thus blasting it to smithereens. The resulting impact will leave nothing but "space junk," which will endlessly pollute the galaxy until we're wiped out by a reverse "Big Bang" or doomsday device. You may now return to your overpriced latté.
posted Feb 14th 2008 3:48PM
I love the addition to the photo.
Lets hope they do a better job blowing it up than China did with theirs.
So why doesn't the pentagon send a predator to take out that alien? It would be more effective than sending a missile. Think pentagon think!
How do I know this isn't a sordid NAB plot to blast Sirius/XM out of the sky?
I love how the US got all over China's ass for blowing up their satellite, but now that we're going to do the same thing, hey, ain't no thang, right? Whatever.
Billy,
My understanding is that this satellite is in a much lower orbit than the Chinese satellite, so much so that it is going to re-enter the atmosphere in a matter of weeks. The debris from this operation (if successful) will not stay in orbit for very long.
If however, you destroy a satellite in a higher orbit where working satellites exist, you risk having other satellites damaged as the debris will stay in [a valuable] orbit much longer.
That is why the Chinese "test" is worthy of more criticism. Although... this still seems to be a bit of oneupmanship based on prior statments that indicated a risk to people on the ground was extremely remote.
@Will
Could it be possible that some of the debris get kicked into a much higher orbit?
is having millions of pieces of debris in orbit really preferable to having it crash?
Tom Servo is funnier.
yes.
Yes. Smaller chunks are more likely to burn up completely on re-entry.
Also, the main concern with this whole episode (aside from the obvious concerns of spy satellite tech falling into unfriendly hands) has been that the fuel contained in the satellite is toxic and could be spread over populated areas. If we can get rid of all (or most) of that fuel through combustion, it will allay that fear.
Josh L is right. Didn't you people see the ending of Cloverfield?
Coverup for testing anti-sattelite weaponry?
hell yes!
That is the first thing that came to my mind too.
Watch China shoot it down tomorrow... They've already tested their anti-satellite missiles once.
"Say, why does that U.S. Spy Satellite have some weird Russian markings on it?"
Or maybe it will be a surprise attack on North Korea or Iran that no one expected because of this story.
OR, watch China shoot down our anti-satellite missile.
that's what the first thing came into my mind seeing this news. Hell yes!
Are you for real? We've been able to shoot down satellites since the 80's, probably earlier.
does engadget prefer photoshop or gimp?
Paint.NET
helloooooo exif tags!
I really think coverage of this story needs to continue; the article image keeps getting better. mabye some little guy on the surface of the earth? one of those little guys that scream at the sight of godzilla? and perhaps you could change the background image to a google earth image of Paris Hilton's house with a bunch of magnets over it to attract the satellite?
o please let the magnets be there!!!!
now we will have to blow up more satellites because space debris took out another one. a never-ending cycle has just begun. on an up-note we will now have a reason to devolope deflector shields.
now we will have to blow up more satellites because space debris took out another one. a never-ending cycle has just begun. on an up-note we will now have a reason to devolope deflector shields.
sorry for the double post
Dilemma.. upon realization of a double post, should one assume all who see knows it's an error, or post again to apologize for the double post, thus leading to a triple post?
Triple post, ftw!
aliens and missles w00t :D
if all else fails, blow it up! lol
As conjectured elsewhere, they probably just want to make REAL sure (probably after tons of lab testing) that the supersecret sensor that's DEEP inside that big satellite gets burned up in the atmosphere.
Leave it whole and risk it getting all the way to the gorund.
This article:
http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN1447206620080214
seems to imply that they are using the weapons to nudge the satellite away from human populations. I'm a tad confused about what exactly they plan to do.
Multiple small chunks might be considered preferable because the small chunks are more likely to vaporize in the Earth's atmosphere upon reentry. That's my guess at least.
The Reuters article said that they were not very concerned about the actual satellite hitting humans but rather with the fuel in the satellite leaking out. Apparently the fuel is poisonous.
> ...fuel...
Lol!
Yeah, we all know that applying a few thousand re-entrydegrees to rocket fuel just changes it into a hard solid.
Man, that last comment was supposed to be in response to John. Here, I'll go fix it and...
Wait... I can't edit comments....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrazine
Hydrazine is highly toxic and dangerously unstable, especially in the anhydrous form. Symptoms of acute exposure to high levels of hydrazine in humans may include irritation of the eyes, nose, and throat, dizziness, headache, nausea, pulmonary edema, seizures, coma, and it can also damage the liver, kidneys, and central nervous system. The liquid is corrosive and may produce dermatitis from skin contact in humans and animals. Effects to the lungs, liver, spleen, and thyroid have been reported in animals chronically exposed to hydrazine via inhalation. Increased incidences of lung, nasal cavity, and liver tumors have been observed in rodents exposed to hydrazine.
Been used since WW II as rocket fuel...
So, it has the same side effects as most prescription drugs.
Wow, what a crappy system this is! My response above was posted to Adam Hanson in the tbirdman double posting above. I'm not even sure this will appear under my incorrectly posted post. Wow.
OK, I'm done commenting about posts. Sorry for your wasted time.
Or add a post commenting on double posting etiquette only to have another post about that post.
That, of course, is where it will end. No one would dare post about a post commenting about a post that pointed out the etiquette of double posting. Of course not.
The missles have upgraded software?
Can they play doom?
My reliable sources tell me that they're capable of Crysis on ultra high while practically playing around with the omega hard (is that really what it's called?) bots thanks to its superior AI.
Hmmm...interesting....
Don't know about playing Doom but they can certainly spell it.
Given the failure rate of the laser guided bombs America used in the previous Gulf War is it advisable to launch missile into orbit and pray they don't screw up and take out the International Space Station?
hahaha! classic!
Yes it was written by M$, now how do you feel? That's what I think everytime I think about SYNC..... the worst idea evAr.
If you don't trust your software maker not to kill you, when even running a nav software or something in your car.... than you know something is wrong.
I love engadget's sense of humor :) no wonder I read it every day (non-sarcasm here)
oh no! a missle malfuncted and hit iran. ah well, win some lose some.
Satellites fall out of the sky on a somewhat regular basis as far as I understood. I must say I think there are ulterior motives to this. Either just testing space weaponry or there's something on that satellite they don't want anyone to know about. Then again, I'm not really much of a conspiracy nut, so maybe it's exactly what they say it is. I am a little surprised that they have weapons capable of reaching a satellite. I always thought we weren't supposed to do that. Also, is it just me or might it make sense to put some sort of auto-destruct on these things in the future so we don't have to spend millions launching missiles? What's a pound of C4 cost?
The Norden Bombsight had autodestruct.
The whole reason the satellite is going to crash in the first place (keep your conspiracy theories to yourselves, thanks) is that there was a malfunction of some sort that kept the orbital correction systems from working. If something caused those systems to malfunction, it's not too big of a stretch to imagine that an auto-destruct system might malfunction too under the same circumstances.
Besides, the US has got gobs of missiles just sitting around waiting to blow stuff up. It'd be a shame to have them go to waste ;)
We've had ASAT missiles since the Cold War. So's Russia. This is old tech, relatively speaking.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-satellite_weapon
OK, so maybe no electrical auto-destruct, but how about a couple pounds of gunpowder so when it enters and starts to get hot it just blows itself apart? We've been making big booms for centuries before we had electronics.
The OST, or Outer Space Treaty, which damn near everyone who matters except the USA *cough*, is an agreement to not place weapons on celestial objects (so Dr. Evil can't put his base on the moon if it's got a nuke in it) and iirc not to place weapons in space at all, but again iirc it says nothing about not sending missiles into space.
wow i like this post .. nice writing ..
I suggest they put cameras on the missiles in the back of the line or record the explosion from another satellite. I want to see an explosion in space, see if sci fi movies got it right.
The "reverse Big Bang" is referred to as the "Big Crunch." Don't worry, we still have 35-44 billion years.
Everytime I read about this, I can't help but think that A.I.M. is trying to take over the satellite and S.H.I.E.L.D. has to send up Iron Man to stop them. I can't believe Engadget didn't use the obvious Marvel tie-in...very dissappointed.
I thought the reverse was Gnab Gib?
Gotta love the Hitchhiker's references....Best books ever.
They could fund this whole project by offering it up as pay-per-view!
WHAT ABOUT THE ZOMBIE INFESTATION!?
Again, read up on your Zombie Survival Guides. Cut those stairs. Sharpen your hatchets! Remember a blade weapon doesn't need reloading! AND ALWAYS AIM FOR THE HEAD!
This is a meassage to uncle Vlad in the Kremlin from "W" that we can take out a satellite in orbit.
Yo, Technical people: We should be able to watch the whole thing during daylight hours, no? Rocket vapor trails, burning balls of debris on re-entry, etc?
Skyrockets in flight. Afternoon delight.
You gotta do what you gotta do !
USA 193: Spy Satellite code-name Iran.
Objective: destroy.
Missiles in space, great! I swear if that thing misses (like that one Simpsons episode with the meteor) and ends up hitting Canada I'm going to raise all sorts of hell.
We still got some Avro Arrows hidden up here ya know...
pretty sure its going to miss and hit iran...accidentally.
lol so true...
best posted picture i've seen in a long time.
... and it's goodbye Hawaii.
Josh L is right. Didn't you people see the ending of Cloverfield?
Joshua, very nicely written man! I cracked up the entire way through reading this! Well done indeed!
Everyone, the the Word of God is going around the world and and all your help is so greatly appreciated. Eh-oo What we need now is an argon crystal laser. Eh you see, an argon crystal laser can pierce thick space holes in a way that other lasers just can't. Send your money now.
Uh now, our deflector shields are useless against phorton torpedoes, and we really need your support on this one, folks. Here at the 600 Club we need your money to spread the Word of Jesus, and build more advanced deflector shields for our galactic cruiser. Call now, and we'll give you this free pin!
Uh, now, now, stay with me on this one, folks. Uh, Sally Struthers has a Tiberian junker [pictured in a window], which is uh the favorite ship of the Hutts, and she has trapped oureh, our our new CBC ship in a uh [struggling] poe-sitronic tractor beam. [a stage hand holds up this cue card]
POSITRONIC
TRACTOR BEAM
SO WE'RE GONNA
NEED AN IONIC
TRACTOR
DISRUPTOR
Uh, so now we're gonna need an ionic tractor disruptor. Now now, not a regular ionic di- tractor disruptor, but a negative ionic tractor disruptor to uh, help spread the Word of Jesus.
I don't have a fucking idea up here.
I love Engadget news items done in Professor Farnsworth's voice.
"Good news, everyone! The satellite is close enough to be taken out with my thing-longerer"
can i just throw this one down.
US GOVT hiding nuclear missile in spy sattelite?
LOVE the article's image!
I was also surpised to hear an SM2 missile could reach low orbit with nothing more than "more fuel and a software tweak". The SM2 Standard Missile system is a tightly integrated fleet defense system. I think they went through alot more trouble than just fuel and software. AFAIK, navy ships don't routinely track low-earth orbit objects.
No conspiracy theory, it seems pretty obvious the US Military wants the wold to know it can knock a low orbit object out of space. Whether it was just a heads-up or a demonstration is up for debate.
I'll give $100 to the collection that pays a Marine to 'adjust' the trajectory to drop that bird on Berkely. I'm sure any decent Sgt could train the Battleship's 22" gun on the bird, blow the super-secret doo-dad to mars and park the rest in the City Council's lap.
P.S.- if the spy bird can play Doom, would that make this a multi-player game?
"Berkely"? You mean Berzerkly, right?
The article states its an sm-3 missle not an sm-2
SM-3 aka the missile used in the Aegis Missile Defense system.
http://www.mda.mil/mdalink/html/nmdimg.html
It seems to me like a really costly / risky way to take down a sat.
Sorry for the post somehow the reply system is so borked it put my post in your thread
JuggleNuts: You will surrender your tin foil hat to the nearest conspiracy club.
Superprime: as posted by someone else: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-satellite_weapon
Next time, know your history.
Imagine our reputation if they miss .. lol
-sun
US Citizen.
This doesn't sound like such a great idea. I keep thinking about this crazy scenario where a passing Phantom Zone gets shattered when one of the missiles misses it's target.
"Kneel before Zod!!!"
Aww, so no satellite in my backyard?
Oh well, when is it? I wanna watch the fireworks.
You mean all these bits and pieces will still be in orbit? On a collision course with the Space Shuttle?
that photo is freakin classic now, after I read the article, you have to add secret agency logos on the satellite and the american flag on the missiles.
the photo gets better every time you have this article.
This plan sounds crazy dangerous to me. An article in the NY Times on 6 Feb 2007 talked about how the amount of debris in orbit is eventually going to reach a critical mass and set off a chain reaction of objects colliding into each other and breaking dozens of pieces, which in turn will collide with other debris creating more debris until every satellite in orbit is pulverized. Remember how that works from playing Asteroids? When China destroyed that satellite last year it created a huge cloud of debris which thankfully didn't trigger the final chain reaction. Why the US would play with fire like this is beyond me.
Its orbit is already decaying, if they did nothing it would burn up anyway, by shooting it down now, its just going to break into smaller pieces and burn up now, plus all of the fuel will disperse outside of the earth's atmosphere, which is a good thing.
While i dont think there is much risk of the fuel causing any danger, imagine how people will be screaming bloody hell, if it does contaminate a populated area, and the big old evil US government knew it was possible. It is called risk mitigation.
As far as targeting goes, think about it we shoot machines with millions of moving parts, tons of highly reactive rocket fuel, and a crew of five into space all the time and hit a moving target( the space station) all the time, all with roughly the computing power of a commodore 64. And while it is still rocket science, i think we have it down pretty well.
Time to get rid of those nukes! I wonder if they shoot it down in nighttime, so you can see the bang :D
The Chinese satellite was at a higher orbit - so the debris it created when it was destroyed is going to be around for a long time. The destruction of this one is going to be at much lower orbit. The idea is to split it into smaller chunks so they all burn up, rather than risk having half a burnt satellite come down spreading hydrazine everywhere.
Conspiracy theory 1 - it's going to land on a city somewhere & they don't want that risk
Conspiracy theory 2 - it's going to land somewhere like China, Iran etc and they don't want them to pick up the debris containing sensitive technology
Conspiracy theory 3 - They want to test out some new missile tech on destroying this thing
Conspiracy theory 4 - aliens really are landing - be afraid, very afraid!!!!
"You may now return to your overpriced latté." Best ending sentence ever!
Somewhere in the Pentagon, I am sure something like this could be overheard:
"Well, Yee-HAW!
I sur hope it blows up real good!"
Somewhere in the Pentagon, I am sure something like this could be overheard:
"Well, Yee-HAW!
I sur hope it blows up real good!"
This picture is funny because what appears to be a routine piece of the satellite looks like a can of dust-off in the aliens hands. Its funny because the alien is performing the routine task of "blowing out" the satellite like a 6 year old dorm computer.
Well the chinese should only be mad that we are shooting down the satelite because they probably were the ones who made it to begin with.... Good ole US of A.
The news/military press conference reported that there wouldn't be a mass of debris like the China satellite, so Engadget should really get its facts straight before setting everyone off with inaccurate information.
We all know the reason this satellite has stopped working. If you don't cue the clip from the South Park movie regarding Mr. Gates but I'm just kidding. In all seriousness though I'm glad my tax dollars are going somewhere, just maybe if get my telescope in right place at the right time, I can see just how effectively they are being used.
Can we just send Bruce Willis up there to ensure that this event goes down as the greatest fireworks display in the history of mankind?