Alien or zombie threat averted: the spy satellite has been destroyed... probably

Just like the Navy told us, they shot that nasty satellite out of the sky with the kind of laser-like precision they've been claiming they're capable of for years. At right around 10:30 this evening, expensive missiles were fired from the deck of the USS Lake Erie, traveling into space at an excess of 5,000mph, which then slammed into the Alien / zombie-juice / Russian controlled satellite (which itself was traveling at 17,000mph). Right now details are still sketchy on just how much damage was done to the object, but word on the street (aka, from the Navy) is that just about any hit to the satellite would put it out of our misery, due to the speed and trajectory at which it's traveling. The story is still developing, so if any of the zombie spore does manage to reach Earth and spark an undead holocaust, we'll be the first to let you know.

[Rafer @ Feb 20th 2008 11:04PM]

Please tell me some poor soul on the USS Erie had a video camera.

[RC @ Feb 20th 2008 11:22PM]

If he did, then that's probably the most exciting video available. But then it would look like most any other launch of similar missile systems.

I seem to recall watching some video of strategic missile defense tests, and they're pretty crummy due to the distance these things are being observed from. I don't know what kind of video can be had of this satellite being hit, given the circumstances, but I would be suprised if it's a very impressive video. Probably some kind of tiny pinprick flareup on infrared or something abstract like that. But...maybe they have a really nice camera.

[Graham @ Feb 21st 2008 12:32AM]

I know! man Ive been all over youtube and stuff looking, I have absolutely nothing. I mean spending 10mil on a missile they shoulda put a camera in it. I mean nasa does it with their rockets and shuttles all the time.

[bob sakamano @ Feb 21st 2008 12:47AM]

is topolsky a russian last name?!?!?! SPY!!! SPY!!

[ByronGman @ Feb 21st 2008 1:00AM]

Damn that is impressive...

Lol... how long before they start using this thing in math textbooks?


If a mission launched from the USS Lake Erie travels at 5,000 MPH and a Satellite is orbiting at 17,000 MPH then at what time should the US Navy....

You get the picture.

[Mr. S. @ Feb 21st 2008 1:12AM]

There is video if 1, there isn't' video if 2. 3 for sure.

1. There was nothing wrong with that sat, it just reached the end of its life and the US decided to use this stunt to show other countries that threats of putting up sats will be met with force.

2. There was really a threat by aliens who were going to time their attach by hiding in the eclipsed moon, but stargate knew about this and launched a missile to attack their ship in orbit saying that it was a sat having problems.

3. Reptilians

[TJ Johnson @ Feb 21st 2008 1:30AM]

Maybe if the US actually took their spying seriously (sarcasm except not really) instead of spending all their time on some pesky old relic, they'd be able to control the damn thing. Once they did, maybe it could spy on the missile that's about to destroy it.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure most spy satellites are meant to look down, not into space so filming from another sat is probably out of the question. Brainwave! Call up NASA. See if their doing anything with Hubble at the moment.

[futurepastnow @ Feb 21st 2008 2:41AM]

The Air Force has a plane that is, basically, a flying telescope designed to photograph other nations' satellites. No doubt it was watching, but that's footage we won't get to see for 50 years, if ever.

[Greenteacookiedough @ Feb 20th 2008 11:06PM]

Hello, 911? There's a big chunk of a metal on my backyard - and my dog seems to be very hungry for flesh...

[Rae @ Feb 21st 2008 12:18AM]

"Sir, please gather some people and take refuge in the nearest mall"

[WXsniper @ Feb 21st 2008 1:48AM]

Itchy. Tasty.

[Austin @ Feb 20th 2008 11:07PM]

Our chances of obliterating the Hilton estate have been foiled again. We'll get you next time, NASA!

[Bob @ Feb 20th 2008 11:07PM]

Oh ....I see debris falling from the sky .........aaaaahhhh.......cannot breathe ........someone ....he...lp...........................

[aaron @ Feb 20th 2008 11:47PM]

Actually....I believe it was around 60 million dollars.

[Christian Torkelson @ Feb 20th 2008 11:08PM]

Sweet. I'm actually pleasantly surprised they hit it. I suppose it's nice to know that we just didn't let off another 50,000 missile for nothing.

[Christian Torkelson @ Feb 20th 2008 11:13PM]

Hmm... turns out I was a little off on that price. My bad.

[mkeough23 @ Feb 22nd 2008 12:20PM]

...More like 10 million dollors

[aaron @ Feb 20th 2008 11:49PM]

AAAHHHH We need the ability to edit posts!




Actually....I believe it was around 60 million dollars.

[Flashpoint @ Feb 20th 2008 11:08PM]

China shoots down a satellite less than 2 months ago and SUDDENLY an american spy satellite is out of whack and must be destroyed using a non-explosive Kinetic Energy strike?

CMON.... Its a dick measuring contest.

But, I'm really dissapointed we had to launch a multi-stage rocket to shoot it down. The Railgun is still in development but we should have had ground based particle defense beams already.

Where is the American satellite with the space based particle beam cannon that conspiracy theorists have prophesized?

[matt @ Feb 20th 2008 11:10PM]

http://www.google.com/search?q=f-15+asat&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1B3GGGL_enUS237US237

[Henry @ Feb 20th 2008 11:31PM]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MIRACL

[whatishalo? @ Feb 20th 2008 11:36PM]

where are the sharks with freakin laser beams??

[Andy @ Feb 20th 2008 11:39PM]

I believe the project got canned after Val Kilmer and some lesser known actors got their hands on it and used it to fill Jerry Hathaway's house with popcorn...

[Tom Oliveri @ Feb 21st 2008 12:05AM]

why would you even bother measuring dicks against china?

wow, is that the 2nd time this week i've burnt a country?

[Eugene @ Feb 21st 2008 1:47AM]

@whatishalo?
Haven't you heard, the red tape takes months to clear up...

[Peppie @ Feb 20th 2008 11:09PM]

Uh oh, better get my "Mobile Zombie Preparedness Kit" ready...
http://www.zombiesarecoming.com/2007/08/28/mobile-zombie-preparedness-kit/

or I could go with the "Emergency Zombie Kit"
http://www.geekologie.com/2007/10/emergency_zombie_kit_is_a_must.php

[FRZ @ Feb 21st 2008 9:28PM]

Why not just a full body armor and a double edge sword really, really sharp combine with a handful of guns of course. But first thing first is the body armor. Why give zombies the chance to even get a bite and doom yourself in the first place?

[Aguiluz @ Feb 20th 2008 11:11PM]

My darn place is cloudy... Please, Just PLEASE! If you have a video, upload it to YOUTUBE. PLEASE! I stayed up this long, and I cant see a thing, Please!

[Graham @ Feb 21st 2008 12:35AM]

Same here, i couldnt see the eclipse until the mone was all out and done

[Graham @ Feb 21st 2008 12:35AM]

agh, "moon" i need to learn how to type

[Zeus.:God @ Feb 20th 2008 11:12PM]

Get ready for everyone to jump down your throat, Joshua- you said "holocaust".

[Shawn @ Feb 20th 2008 11:28PM]

holocaust means complete destruction and has been around for centuries at least. Holocaust with a capital H is the event you're thinking of. its like telling a guy named Roger he sucks cause Rogers wireless has insanely steep cellphone prices in canada

[Rob @ Feb 20th 2008 11:14PM]

To which Michelle Obama commented "For the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of my country." lol ....

[Adrian Williams @ Feb 21st 2008 1:06AM]

@ Charles
If you are not BLACK
you will never in your life feel like how we feel at this moment and and it's not cause he's black

[Rob @ Feb 21st 2008 9:34AM]

@Adrian Williams, please don't start throwing the race card in this forum. This is definitely the wrong place. Geeks like us do not pay attention to those silly things.

Back to my original comment, what Mrs Obama said is sad and inappropriate and it has cost her husband my vote, and perhaps many others who take pride in being an American. You may not agree with all the decisions our elected officials make, but we have the privilege that with our votes we have the power to punish or reward their behavior. "While Mrs Clinton gets grilled left and right by the media, Mr Obama gets a pass." That comment has been made by made observers of this presidential election. And that should make you wonder why is Mr Obama getting a pass from the media?

Again, this is not a political forum either and my original comment was made as a sarcastic joke anyway. LOL ...

[buttabean @ Feb 20th 2008 11:16PM]

Thanks pretty amazing that they could hit something like that.

[JuggleNuts @ Feb 20th 2008 11:16PM]

Beat Army!

[Charles R Hamilton @ Feb 20th 2008 11:20PM]

So much for that "They'll probably miss" talk, huh?

[matt @ Feb 20th 2008 11:22PM]

why is there so much anti-american sentiment on engadget?

[Charles R Hamilton @ Feb 20th 2008 11:24PM]

It's fashionable to hate America. Just ask Michelle Obama.

[RC @ Feb 20th 2008 11:25PM]

@Matt

Engadget is on internet. Internet has doofuses on it.

[Christian Torkelson @ Feb 20th 2008 11:40PM]

Proud. highly honorable or creditable

She said in her adult life. Birth year of 64 + 18 = 82. Maybe she isn't particularly impressed with anything we've done since 1982. Different people have different priorities. Perhaps she would have been impressed/proud had we ended poverty, or discrimination, or made more progress on accepting people of all races, genders, and sexual preference. Maybe she isn't particularly proud of "winning" the cold war, I can understand how she may think that participating in a dick waving contest by seeing who could blow each other up worse as an honorable thing to do.

Different people, different priorities.

As an Obama supporter I don't think there is particularly amazing about his ability to speak well, or draw first time voters in large numbers and do so with the enthusiasm his supporters do... I think it's good, but not amazing. But perhaps to her thats something that actually makes her proud.

...Assuming she actually meant her words in the way they came out.

[Andrew @ Feb 20th 2008 11:48PM]

You stole my icon!

[Ellianth @ Feb 20th 2008 11:51PM]

If they're anything like me (even though I don't post country hate posts) they're all just bitter because all the good contests are america only. AND to make matters worse, we're only told that fact after we click links and then they get ad revenue from us.

[Dolemite @ Feb 21st 2008 12:01AM]

Christian,

So the cold war was a "dick waving contest"? Really? I think there are a 100-150 million dead people who might say that it was a bit more than that.

I know you are going for that whole "moral relativism"\d0uchebag argument, but when most adult talk, they use defensible arguments, or at the very least morally defensible arguments.

[stupidmonkey @ Feb 21st 2008 1:42AM]

Or ask Bill O'Reilly. He hates vets.

[fanman @ Feb 21st 2008 4:03AM]

Everyone already knew the Americans could hit something that was on their side...

[Christian Torkelson @ Feb 21st 2008 4:52AM]

@ dolemite.

I'm not saying that Mrs. Obama thinks that the CW was a dick waving contest, what I am saying is that she potentially could have that view of something many other Americans would consider a triumph... and other Americans could have the idea that issues she's advocating as commendable are actually not, and vice versa.

The point I'm making is that she technically said she hasn't found anything that the U.S. has done since 1982 as especially honorable. That doesn't make her wrong, that just means she prioritizes issues differently (or has higher standards) than those who attack her.

I used the example of the cold war because many on the opposite side of her tend to suggest that the cold war victory was America's greatest accomplishment between the time of 1982 and now. And that her discrediting that by default was a bad thing in their eyes.

You say "So the cold war was a "dick waving contest"? Really? I think there are a 100-150 million dead people who might say that it was a bit more than that." where are you getting that number from? Conflict between the USSR and the U.S. did not result in that many deaths post WWII to 1990. It's called the cold war because there was relatively little physical armed conflict/fighting. Is that number you claim the amount of deaths came as a result of Soviet famine, cruelty, testing accidents, or oppression? Please explain that number so that I may comment on it.

I know many who would argue that building up the most bombs to "deter" the other was actually a pretty dumb way of going about preventing war (given how easily mistakes and misunderstandings are made.) And if you still think it was a jolly great idea than how do you justify it considering the fact that those decommissioned bombs/materials are relatively easy to get a hold of in Russia/Asia. Its called Nuclear proliferation and it is a real problem, regardless of whether or not one is used against the U.S. the environmental and radioactive reprocussions are an issue as well. Luckily nothing bad happened from it or has happened yet. I cant tell you what talking with Yelstin or Gorbachev were like, I don't know what negotiations were feasible with them. But I will tell you that what did happen was far from ideal. What did happen was a very deadly and very serious game of chicken, it wouldn't have mattered who had the biggest dick(most bombs) had someone given the order to launch... both parties would have crashed and burned regardless. Once the arms race surpassed a certain point it was like beating a dead horse... 100 nukes on all major metropolitan areas would devastate a country beyond repair... thousands is just becoming a title contest if you will, a stalemate that only put everyone at risk for much longer than they needed to be.

As I alluded too earlier I cant speculate as to where we could have gone off in avoiding this conflict to begin with, or how we could have prevented it, I'm just saying that it wasnt/isnt the ideal situation given the potential past and future risk/s.

I am however generally very thankful things didn't deteriorate into all out war and that we all made it out alive. Hopefully my point is a little clearer.

[Steve @ Feb 20th 2008 11:29PM]

Did the Ewoks jump up and down in celebration?

[IndiaTech @ Feb 21st 2008 4:33AM]

Nopes... Lucas edited them out.