Salmon sperm used to intensify LEDs, grossify everyone

See, the problem with bioengineering isn't moral or ethical dilemmas, or even homicidal robo-droids enslaving humanity. It's that if you let researchers go wild, eventually they'll find a way to make LEDs out of salmon sperm, threatening the sanctity (and sperm-free-ness) of your entire gadget-based lifestyle. Yet that's exactly what Professor Andrew Steckl of the University of Cincinnati has managed to do, using the DNA found in salmon sperm to enhance the brightness of LEDs. The so-called BioLEDs are being developed in cooperation with the Air Force (yes, the Air Force -- they had a "good source" of salmon sperm, apparently) and they've been so successful that Steckl has been getting salmon sperm from researchers worldwide "wanting to see if their sperm is good enough." Steckl says that since salmon sperm is considered a waste product of the fishing industry, BioLEDs are particularly green -- kind of like our faces right now.

[Lweel8 Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:43PM]

In case of emergency...

[patsy Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:20PM]

> yes, the Air Force -- they had a "good source" of salmon sperm, apparently

Well, as we all know, the military have a long-standing obsession with precious bodily fluids.

[Brad Hubbard Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:26PM]

So these are called BioLEDs - because OLED (you know, organic light emitting diodes) just didn't seem like an applicable moniker.

[ciscomancer Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:29PM]

I live in alaska. You want salmon sperm? I can get you salmon sperm, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you salmon sperm by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These f$%#ing amateurs...

[Econ Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:16PM]

Walter Sobchack FTW!

I'm only slightly more than horribly disturbed that this is the greatest density of "highly" and "highest" ranked comments I've ever seen on one article.

[Lweel8 Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:44PM]

You're out of your element.

[Anatidae Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:38PM]

This is nothing new. I have been using salmon sperm on my eyeballs for years to improve the brightness of my night vision.

I am pretty sure there is a patent on this as well by a company that never actually built anything then sold the patent to some lawyer firm who will then sue everyone with a sperm enabled LED. They also hold a patent on whale orgasms in the use of increasing fuel efficiency in the standard automobile.

[vtluu Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:43PM]

OLED: Orgasmic LED?

[apw76006 Posted Mar 11th 2008 4:45PM]

I think that I will stick to Bud Light instead of Sperm Light.

[LordBunson Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:12PM]

cum on guys, really?

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 6:09PM]

Ahh we almost made it without a low ranked post!

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 9:43PM]

Booooo!

[Chinpokomon Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:29PM]

Sure... that's Coke that made all your keys sticky. I'm sure that's the first time service technicians have heard that.

[Chinpokomon Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:36PM]

It should if you are like all the other researchers wanting to donate their "salmon sperm."

"Salmon sperm?, sure I've got some for you. I keep a jar full under my be... er, in our special containment unit."

[Chinpokomon Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:40PM]

Hmmm, threads aren't being followed for some reason. The first response was for David Vogt and the second for lordofthedirectrix.

[Celanor Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:47PM]

...are my led's going to start reproducing when I go to bed...

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 5:49PM]

"threatening the sanctity (and sperm-free-ness) of your entire gadget-based lifestyle"

What even after a good fapping session to the porn on said gadgets?

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 6:12PM]

The Ohio river does strange things to men. I should know, I live in Clifton.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 8:29PM]

Salmon sperm is a common blocking agent when running gel and working with DNA. It helps to prevent non-specific binding of reagents to surfaces your working on.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 7:46PM]

someone please add this to wikipedia and see how long it will stay under LED

[TIMMAH Posted Mar 11th 2008 7:50PM]

Quick trademark the follow product taglines: "Everything is just brighter with sperm!" and "Sperm Inside".

You just know they had to try other stuff before settling on the salmon, right?

[JoseElMaton Posted Mar 11th 2008 8:14PM]

Hmm... I wonder if I could make my monitor brighter if I... interfaced... with the HDMI port.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 8:48PM]

OK perfect sick tech gadget for Engadget would be to combine the Hello Kittie AR-15, the flashlight machine gun and the bio-(sperm)-LED for the flashlight.

Was there any reason they didn't show it working with a red LED?

[Hardcore1 Posted Mar 11th 2008 8:50PM]

So that's why my monitor looks better after viewing porn.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 10:12PM]

There's a video of an interview with the guy.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=b1WWpKEPdT4

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 11th 2008 10:46PM]

If you look at this thing too long you'll end up cockeyed.

[CB Posted Mar 12th 2008 1:56AM]

Wow, so many high ranked comments.

[The Turtle Posted Mar 12th 2008 2:17AM]

This is old... ILovebacon.com aced this over a week ago.

http://www.ilovebacon.com/030308/b.shtml

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 12th 2008 3:54AM]

please dont mention fish sperm and face in the same sentence.

also, how the hell did the professor discover this i really dont want to know.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 12th 2008 11:46AM]

So what will human sperm do?

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 12th 2008 11:47AM]

Obviously nothing because scientists have plenty of that "on tap". I answered my own question.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 12th 2008 3:41PM]

Good. Maybe Apple will add this two years after Sony.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 17th 2011 10:12AM]

Hmmm... This Explains why Austin Powers Mojo was glowing....