Researchers develop human prosthesis for balance, unfortunately it's not a tail

There's hope for those of us suffering from chronic imbalance as a result of staring too long at periodic tables and 20-sided dice. It's an implant developed by neuroscientists at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary. The implant looks to off-set balance irregularities in the human vestibular system caused by trauma or disease affecting the gyroscopic function of the inner ear. A microprocessor converts signals received from a motion sensor worn on the head into electrical impulses. These are then sent to an electrode implanted into the inner ear. The first test will begin next week on a rhesus monkey. A move which evokes cries of "unfair" from us -- unlike nerds, monkeys already have excellent balance.

[ReggieXuk @ Mar 31st 2008 6:07AM]

¿qué?

[Artiom @ Mar 31st 2008 6:28AM]

ReggieXuk, stop asking dumb questions and learn english first!

[fanman @ Mar 31st 2008 7:06AM]

First rule of the internet: There is world outside of America and the UK.

[nh @ Mar 31st 2008 7:17AM]

fanman are you nuts?

Though I must say it does seem odd that the entire Internet is written in English.

[Blackstar @ Mar 31st 2008 7:25AM]

It's an implant from the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary... and they have a picture of Houdini... with a Doctor Octopus claw coming out of his butt.... I guess there are more people with impaired balance than we thought.

[mymaclife @ Mar 31st 2008 7:43AM]

@ Fanman

If that's the case at least have the decency to construct a meaningful sentence in English. Your lack of proper sentence modality only serves to re-enforce the argument of people who think anyone outside of the US or UK is stupid!

BTW most of us here know there is a world outside of the USA and UK, your axe grinding is perhaps unnecessary.

[Jamie Marsden @ Mar 31st 2008 8:22AM]

Fanman is right.

I believe that there are also people in Australia, Canada, Ireland and New Zealand too.


Oh, and 'nh', the entire internet is NOT written in English, but you probably only throw up English results when you type English words into google. Just a thought.

[MEAT! @ Mar 31st 2008 10:12AM]

"First rule of the internet: There is world outside of America and the UK."

Second rule of the internet: It is perfectly acceptable to denigrate and ethnocentrically insult said other world.

Third rule: Once you've insulted the people in rule two, you may insult everyone else. Jerk.

[Nano2e @ Mar 31st 2008 10:40AM]

@ReggieXuk: While your use of a foreign language disturbs me not at all, you could try to sound more intelligent by asking a question other than "huh?"

Nazis exist....there, this current thread is now over.

[Dan S. @ Mar 31st 2008 10:41AM]

I thought the first rule of the internet is: Don't talk about the internet...?

[ReggieXuk @ Mar 31st 2008 1:35PM]

What i typed is less disturbing than that picture. I don't even speak Spanish, i just like that word.

[Bobs @ Mar 31st 2008 6:16AM]

mmmmm, chocolate monkies

[Ekauq @ Mar 31st 2008 7:48AM]

that sounds so wrong with your pic

[Bobs @ Mar 31st 2008 5:06PM]

Even I, Ron Jeremy, porn star agree.

[LordZargon @ Mar 31st 2008 6:27AM]

Harry Houdini escapes from padlocks whilst getting a colonoscopy from Doc Octopus! What a showman!

[Wolfticket @ Mar 31st 2008 6:33AM]

Some people maybe find the picture unnecessarily large, cryptic, irrelevant to the story.
Me? I like it.

[Kurian @ Mar 31st 2008 6:37AM]

Firefox's Live Bookmarks cropped the RSS feed's title and i assumed it to be something about a prosthetic ballsack.

[Tomheivers @ Mar 31st 2008 6:44AM]

Can't they build something useful like doomsday devices or portaltechnology?
No, they decide to build a self-balancing monkey
WAIT, we already have one of those!

[shimmy shimmy yah @ Mar 31st 2008 7:52AM]

hmm are they talking about that balancing limb that lots of black guys seem to have and white guys.. not so much. (no racism intended, im white i can pick on myself and race for having a generaly smaller sized "piece of equipment" than whites and yellows and that)

dont take things to seriously folks just a joke.

[dutchboy @ Mar 31st 2008 7:53AM]

nh
@ Mar 31st 2008 7:17AM
>
fanman are you nuts?

Though I must say it does seem odd that the entire Internet is written in English.
<
no its not. if u search for an english word in google, u get english pages. duh. if u look for a dutch word u get dutch pages, etc. and engadget is available in spanish and some asian languages. open your eyes.

[nh @ Mar 31st 2008 8:05AM]

But how does Google know which Internet to search?

It's like how a Thermos knows whether to keep your drink hot or cold...

[Alex @ Mar 31st 2008 8:35AM]

so is this thing going to give me some spiderman super abilities or what?

[James D. @ Mar 31st 2008 8:46AM]

Am I the only one who noticed the picture in the post....errrrr.

[SurKaz @ Mar 31st 2008 9:50AM]

Rhesus Puffs?...

[Chuckles McGee @ Mar 31st 2008 10:05AM]

Funny, yet irrelevant. Just like this article's picture.

[SurKaz @ Mar 31st 2008 10:51AM]

Agreed...
However, on a more serious note... This device may be useful for people with disabilities. To be able to walk/balance on their own.

Felt I had to contribute some relevant comment.

[Fubar @ Apr 1st 2008 7:43PM]

No, Rhesus Pieces.

[a-engadget @ Mar 31st 2008 9:55AM]

Isn't it great to poke fun at experimenting on animals to death?

The first test will begin next week on a rhesus monkey. A move which evokes cries of "unfair" from us -- unlike nerds, monkeys already have excellent balance.

Pretty obvious that thes 'lucky' rhesus monkeys are not going to be *alive* after the implants are put into them without their consent and then they are 'tested'. All this makes Water Bording look like a walk in the park! So yeah, it's so "unfiar" that the monkies 'get' to be terminal test subjects.....


Andreas (an animal like all the rest of us)

[Vesh @ Mar 31st 2008 10:02AM]

Looks like Doc Oc got Steampunked.

[Chuckles McGee @ Mar 31st 2008 10:19AM]

I think it's obvious to most people that Engadget's statement was a light-hearted jest. No one was condoning the hurting of adorable monkey friends.

[CubeGuy @ Mar 31st 2008 11:27AM]

Let me know when I can get myself a tail.

[YoJIMbo @ Mar 31st 2008 12:58PM]

Poor monkeys...

[Moa @ Mar 31st 2008 1:22PM]

Que = What, so what if I say Que!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[letsgo2 @ Mar 31st 2008 1:44PM]

so....will this work when your drunk too? thatd be just prime

[Wwhat @ Mar 31st 2008 2:03PM]

Will it have bluetooth and will that be compatible with the Wii?

[Shockage @ Mar 31st 2008 5:50PM]

who needs prosthesis when you have

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/22/sunday/main3960219.shtml