All Spark Cube gets turned into a talking USB hub

That USB missile launcher you had to have is one thing, but a giant 4 port USB hub in the likeness of the All Spark cube the Transformers movie? Did we mention it talks, spouting off classics like "We must protect the All Spark Cube," every time you plug in a device? This surely-authorized product will run you about $35 US, although the toll on your dignity may not be calculable.

[Via Everything USB]

[john @ Apr 13th 2008 9:03AM]

I'd rather have the hellraiser cube ... and it summons cenobites whenever you plug a device in.

[Mark @ Apr 13th 2008 10:20AM]

totally. first thing I thought of when I saw this thing.

[Deputy Doffoos @ Apr 13th 2008 7:36PM]

If you plug your ethernet cable into the modem port by mistake it summons Pinhead & the Gang

[nickels @ Apr 13th 2008 9:06AM]

thats just stupid !

would it not make more sense to have one of the autobots that says “We must protect the All Spark Cube”

so sense in the cube saying it

[Blackstar @ Apr 13th 2008 1:19PM]

It should say, "We must protect the All Spark Cube because we have 2 more crappy Transformers movies to make and Michael Bay keeps blowing up our props."

[applefan @ Apr 13th 2008 9:15AM]

Does it come with the Camero?

[94 taurus owner @ Apr 13th 2008 9:26AM]

Dude it's Camaro.

[applefan @ Apr 13th 2008 9:38AM]

Dahh!!! That's what I meant to write. My iPhone's keyboard is too tiny.

[happy_penguin @ Apr 13th 2008 10:18AM]

She look so cool in her new Camaro
It's black as coal and it goes boy, go go go
I brought my fight next to her Camaro
And when I fire on a smile then she blows, she blows

[Esat Dedezade @ Apr 13th 2008 9:16AM]

"This surely-authorized product will run you about $35 US, although the toll on your dignity may not be calculable."

Now I'm not a qualified accountant or anything but, I reckon I can take a pretty good shot at it.

Observe:

Toll On dignity - Calculaitons:

* -1 girlfriend (if there was any to begin with)
* - 20 streed cred (" ")
* - 70 cool Factor (" ")
* - 50 respect (" ")
* - $35

[Esat Dedezade @ Apr 13th 2008 9:44AM]

I forgot to include the self respect calculation.

Self respect increases exponentially until one of your USB devices decides to kill you in your sleep.

Then all values become 0 indefinately.

[94 taurus owner @ Apr 13th 2008 9:18AM]

I want unlimited power to charge my Ipod and PSP.

Where can I get one.

[r3loaded @ Apr 13th 2008 9:25AM]

The only problem with it is that any device you plug into it turns into a Decepticon.

[Esat Dedezade @ Apr 13th 2008 9:47AM]

I just realised, if this thing could fit into a manilla envelope, it would be the perfect partner of a laptop.... of somekind... by a laptop manufacturer.... of some name.....

[telepheedian @ Apr 13th 2008 10:45AM]

The Lenovo X300?

[jeeesus @ Apr 13th 2008 1:45PM]

no, i think he meant the macbook air. just a guess.

[Deputy Doffoos @ Apr 13th 2008 8:05PM]

oh my god!

I mean, oh jeeesus....

[Viakenny @ Apr 13th 2008 10:48AM]

does it come with a life-size Megan Fox doll?

[Stem $ell @ Apr 13th 2008 11:25AM]

When you plug in it's, er, 'transformer', it says: "Suboptimus I'm"

[秦飞 @ Apr 13th 2008 11:42AM]

very cool!

[UFgatorsean @ Apr 13th 2008 12:05PM]

wow, this is pathetic.... nearly three hours and nobody has corrected the manufacturer name.

[Esat Dedezade @ Apr 13th 2008 12:26PM]

*Jedi mind trick voice*

"This is not the article you're looking for."

Wait a minute.. this really ISN'T the article you're looking for.

Try the next article up above this ;)

[Decoy @ Apr 13th 2008 4:13PM]

It's not the cube I'm after. You know the cube I mean.

[Flashpoint @ Apr 13th 2008 12:11PM]

GIVE ME THE CUBE BOY !!!

[Tamer Brad @ Apr 13th 2008 12:36PM]

That movie was an insult to Transformers. :(

[Alex @ Apr 13th 2008 4:20PM]

You liked Transformers?

I pity you.

[a ham sandwich @ Apr 13th 2008 12:47PM]

well if thats actual size then the damn thing's tiny. look how large the usb ports are!

[gabe @ Apr 13th 2008 1:43PM]

what a horrid movie!

[Nule @ Apr 13th 2008 2:08PM]

Do you mean "from the Transformers movie"? Otherwise I can't get that first sentence to parse.

[Lazerface @ Apr 13th 2008 2:26PM]

what happens if you plug the Optimus Maximus into it?

[Esat Dedezade @ Apr 13th 2008 2:39PM]

There's a simple calculation for that

(teh awesome^r0xors) X l337 hax0r/USB ports = EPIC WIN covered in WIN SAUCE.

[Kirk @ Apr 13th 2008 2:42PM]

I think the TARDIS usb is way cooler than that.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/computing/accessories/9223/

[Reekdik @ Apr 13th 2008 2:59PM]

put the cube in my chest

[For2itous @ Apr 13th 2008 4:13PM]

Optimus crime...

[shmunky @ Apr 13th 2008 4:14PM]

I liked that movie for some reason...

[switchxfactor @ Apr 13th 2008 4:44PM]

CHUUUUUUUUUBE!!!

[Biff Superman @ Apr 13th 2008 5:32PM]

could you imagine if you stuck that thing up your butt?

OUCH!

[caleb @ Apr 13th 2008 7:46PM]

i dont want to know why you came to that conclusion, or why you would even think about sharing that... with anyone...

[94 taurus owner @ Apr 14th 2008 8:11AM]

Same here.

[D-Zyner @ Apr 13th 2008 6:17PM]

Why am I NOT surprised?

[threefingeredlord @ Apr 13th 2008 6:41PM]

...because you have one on your desk?

[fLeShTwIsTeR @ Apr 13th 2008 7:50PM]

We have such sights to show you...

www.HellraiserPuzzleBox.com

[rutsy5 @ Apr 13th 2008 8:18PM]

All I gotta say is, it damn well better say "Transformers, roll out!" when you unplug anything.

[sotec_productions @ Apr 13th 2008 8:38PM]

The guy holding the puzzle box on www.HellraiserPuzzleBox.com looks like the love child of John Malkovich and Jeremy Irons....

As for this article's gadget....

I was a fan of Transformers the cartoon, I actually thought the movie (while the hollywood hack it was) brought some entertainment. If you forget everything you know about the Transformers cartoons, closed one eye, stood on your head and focused on the CGI, then it was tolerable. But you wouldn't catch me dead or alive with this goofy thing on my desk. I'd rather have a Hellraiser puzzlebox USB cube anyday. More evil. \\m//

[Hellraiserfan @ Apr 14th 2008 7:52AM]

The guy holding the puzzle box on www.HellraiserPuzzleBox.com is Doug Bradley, who played Pinhead. :D
(Which doesn't change the fact that he does, in fact, look "like the love child of John Malkovich and Jeremy Irons", just thought it needed mentioning.)

[aoi tsuki @ Apr 13th 2008 8:41PM]

i'm not buying anything which in any way supports Michael Bay's version of Transformers.

[Eliazar Terraza @ Apr 13th 2008 10:34PM]

If only there was a companion cube hub

[Andy @ Apr 13th 2008 11:12PM]

Can someone PLEASE make a PC out of this thing?

[DiscoCat5 @ Apr 14th 2008 12:39AM]

yeah id buy it, " get to the building sam!" :p

[Arrica Lee @ Apr 14th 2008 3:53AM]

That is enormous, but interesting.

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