The next time you get popped for a crime you didn't commit and end up in the Big House, you're going to be real glad NCIC Inmate Telephone Services rolled into existence. The greatest dream of felons everywhere has finally come to fruition: you can now make collect calls to cellphones while you're serving your time. And hey, this isn't just some minor advance -- no, this is "lightning in a bottle," arguably on par with the first moon landing, finding a cure for cancer, or hitting that crazy high note at the end of "Happiness Is a Warm Gun." With a 20 percent call-completion rate, you don't have to defer your dreams -- rob a bank today, you'll definitely be able to make pricey collect calls to loved ones from jail!

[Image courtesy Celebrity Blackberry Sightings]