Sharper Image in final throes, stores being liquidated, then shuttered
By Ryan Block 
posted June 1st 2008 8:32PM
posted June 1st 2008 8:32PM
Not that anyone really expected Sharper Image to make a comeback after getting put up for sale, but Hilco Merchant Resources and Gordon Brothers Retail Partners (the same peeps who gutted CompUSA) are putting the lame brand out of its misery, liquidating all 86 remaining stores nation-wide. Apparently the fire sale will offer between 20-40% off retail prices (meaning they'll still be making a healthy margin on all their overpriced crap), so if you just can't bear the thought of not having a deeply discounted Shiatsu foot massager / fish de-scaler / clock-radio then get the gettin' while the gettin's good.
Shit, where am I going to find an over-priced Ionic Breeze now?
I wonder how Brookstone is doing? I'd hate to see them die before I can save up enough to get one of their kick ass massaging recliners. I swear to god when you sit down in one of those things you can see though time and space.
How can they afford to pay shills in a time like this?
1) The ironic breeze DID cause harm. I got a dry/scratchy throat whenever I walked near one and lingered longer. People have had pets turn a shade of blue because of lung damage...etc. So no sympathy that they couldn't afford lawsuits. Note that the lawsuits never totaled more than the price of items sold, so even less sympathy.
2) Who cares about a robotic chimp head? A douche near where I lived in IA bought one....and they recently had their house foreclosed. As far as I'm concerned, me not having to bail out people who buy stupid crap > Sharper Image selling some monkey heads.
who knew that a sharper image post could bring up monkey heads and douches?
Wow, Pavan's sniffy nose has once and for proved the insidious dangers of negative ions. It's a good thing they can only be found near "ionic breeze" devices!
And what's with the rant against chimp heads? Mine is freakin' awesome, and regularly helps me out (HOV passenger; keeping grandchildren out of my goodie closet), etc. 'Course I didn't get it at Sharper Image, but that's only because the entire inventory of SI has been on the 'Bay for years.
Sharper Image: Nice Looking stuff, good store layout, crazy prices (never bought anything from them)
"if you just can't bear the thought of not having a deeply discounted Shiatsu foot massager / fish de-scaler / clock-radio"
What!?! No nose-hair-trimming feature? Then it's not worth going out of my way.
Are they serious with a 40% off final offer? Nowadays, that's where you start discounting, not where you end up. They must still mistakenly think people are jonesing for their techno-trash.
Airplane flights are going to be so much more boring without SI's ridiculous section in SkyMall to chortle at.
Hot dog cooker with spots for the dog and two bun halves anyone?
Unfortunately, Bose (and Monster) is a good example of how important marketing can negate the crappiness of any product.
About 15 years ago, I bought a set of Bose bookcase speakers for my parents. They were about 1/10th the size of the speakers that they were intended to replace, yet the woofer was vastly superior to the old speakers. You didn't have to crank up the bass that much to hear the thumping of the woofers in the old speakers.
I've got a Sony stereo that is about 8 years old, and the speakers are about twice the size of the Bose speakers and the tweeters in the Sonys aren't as good as the tweeters in the Bose speakers.
Bose products are superior to those of its competitors, whehter Asian or European.
Tell me when they cut 20-40% off the Xbox system. Then I will probably buy one...and something from them.
http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__HC001
This company shouldn't have even started...
$299!!!
WHAT THE F^&%!
"The StressEraser focuses your mind and guides your breathing to synchronize with a calming BreathWave™ pattern."
It tells you how to breath, just in case you forgot...
http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/product/sku__BZ100
It keeps getting worse.
For anybody that really wants to make music, use Reason 4 and a USB Keyboard with some knobs, maybe a KAOSS Pad and some other junk at Musicians Friend...
Good riddance, SI was always an asshole magnet. Who cares if some corporate plebes got some corporate giftcards and they can't use them. bwah ha ha ha ha!
But seriously, how bout this company, eh? They buy up stores like SI and CompUSA and shut them down for the betterment of mankind. They are almost like superheroes!
I saw this coming like so many. Sharper Image was one of those, a fairy tale long time ago, high end spot. But competition marginalized their sales. Then they started to brand their own stuff b/c the competition was selling the same thing, and at better prices. Brookestone does the same thing you know. But I believe their stuff is much higher quality then SI. Much higher.
I can go on but who really give a shi@. They be history. Next on the choping block, them tired ass sells folks at Radio Shi$ I hate that damn place.
And the beat goes on!
I work for a company that manages and tracks gift cards, and I've been following this issue for sometime now on savvywallet.com. Leveragecard.com initialized a bankruptcy policy for consumers that purchased The Sharper Image gift card on our website. You can email me at austin@leveragecard.com and I can check our records to see if your card was purchased through us. If it is, then you're in luck and you can swap it with any of our other retailers.