In one fell swoop, Newman shows the industry how to get its ass back into plastic. The Cool Man MP3 player is anything but, man. Unless you're still wearing that acid-washed, Blondie pin collector from your 80's wardrobe. The DAP features an OLED display, MP3/WMA support, built-in mic and bleb poppin' safety pin. And that juicy orange? We have no fracking idea since the player is about as waterproof as a, as a... well, entry-level MP3 player.

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Newman's Cool Man MP3 player: yes that's a safety pin, stud