GLaDOS GPS voice pack just wants to help you find your way. To the morgue.

An enterprising nerd by the name of Ryan VanMiddlesworth is clearly a bigger Portal fan than you, since he's cobbled together a GLaDOS-simulating voice pack for Garmin Nüvis. Just don't try to prevent "GLaGPS" from constantly trying to divert you to cake-related points of interest, else you may find yourself tossing your Garmin into an incinerator. Video after the break.

[Sudo @ Jun 29th 2008 10:25PM]

Too bad the voice is synced up like shit.

[Kamokazi @ Jun 29th 2008 11:05PM]

Actually I think it sounds more like the game's voice that way.

[Flashpoint @ Jun 29th 2008 11:21PM]

at the corner....

...make a left...

...if you are an English person you may turn onto train tracks...

...you will be dead...but I am...

...still alive...

[hurricane @ Jun 29th 2008 11:42PM]

Well, it sounds fine to me... in fact, now I want a Garmin Nüvis!

[hurricane @ Jun 29th 2008 11:44PM]

Nüvi*

[JerseyBricklayer @ Jun 30th 2008 12:11AM]

The cake is a lie.

[Jhongerkong @ Jun 29th 2008 10:30PM]

The video is a lie

[craig#2 @ Jun 30th 2008 12:14AM]

Nice

[jjpember @ Jun 30th 2008 5:07AM]

The directions are a lie

[Peter @ Jun 29th 2008 10:30PM]

Looks like the comment system double posting has transfered to the articles themselves.

[Jim @ Jun 29th 2008 10:38PM]

That's awesome. I wonder when someone will come up with a JOSHUA (from WarGames) GPS hack. Or Master Control Program (from TRON). Or HAL.

[Mitch @ Jun 29th 2008 11:28PM]

HAL doesn't sound digital at all, so doubtful, but i wish.

[Dr. Evil @ Jun 30th 2008 12:16AM]

http://www.moviesounds.com/2001/bitsilly.mp3

[Brian @ Jun 30th 2008 11:52AM]

Or Val Kilmer from the new Knight Rider :->
(No seriously, that was a kick ass voice for a computer)

[Nick Quigley @ Jun 29th 2008 10:48PM]

His software absolutely did NOT constantly trying to divert him to cake-related points of interest. I was at least expecting a video of cake and portal songs at the destination. LETDOWN

[craig#2 @ Jun 30th 2008 12:14AM]

I was disappointed as well. I've put dozens of downloaded voices on my tomtom, all of which get very boring very quickly. Sadly, this is no different.

[ShadowKain @ Jun 30th 2008 9:31AM]

at least expecting a video? High expectations for a USER ADDED SOUND for christ's sake. It is portal, it was created by a fan, it may not be perfect, so get used to it. Fans of the game will appreciated it, even if for 30 min until it gets boring. But putting this down because of its lack of features is wrong. Unless you can do better and get it posted on Engadget then please give the man a small ammount of credit at least.

[Nick Quigley @ Jun 29th 2008 10:48PM]

His software absolutely did NOT constantly trying to divert him to cake-related points of interest. I was at least expecting a video of cake and portal songs at the destination. LETDOWN

[Motoken @ Jun 29th 2008 10:54PM]

that voice syth is terrible! sounds like the computer is talking to you through a long PVC pipe 10 meters away from you.

[Andy Anonymous @ Jun 30th 2008 2:05AM]

You obviously haven't played the game, because that's how GLaDOS sounds.

[G-Money @ Jun 29th 2008 10:59PM]

Instead of the Flag being at the end, it should of been the cake, oh well the voice will do for now.

[nxtiak @ Jun 29th 2008 11:05PM]

Sweet! Loading it now!

[Decoy @ Jun 29th 2008 11:07PM]

So that is where you work. And this is where you live. And this is your car. Where did your life go so wrong?

[eggothewaffle @ Jun 29th 2008 11:10PM]

GLaDOS...Take me to the cake.

SHORTEST ROUTE PLZ.

[KlaDOS9 @ Jun 29th 2008 11:13PM]

I wish it would say something like "You have arrived at the
cake. Now, please assume the party transportation position and a
party transportation associate will be with you shortly to transport
you to the party." or "While the cake is NOT a lie, the destination
is. You are not at the destination. In fact, you are actually at the
cake."

[jgencinc @ Jun 29th 2008 11:39PM]

Holladay Construction Group Online Planroom

[Dr. Evil @ Jun 29th 2008 11:44PM]

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS!

(someone had to say it)

[Nick @ Jun 30th 2008 1:08AM]

how bout this?

This was a triumph,
I'm plotting a route here, choose address.

lol :D

[Mike @ Jun 30th 2008 2:04AM]

Hold the Internets, Nick wins.

[Kevlar @ Jun 30th 2008 2:51AM]

This was a triumph,
I'm plotting a route here, choose address.
I'll take you there, with global navigation!
Acquiring signal!
We drive where you want, I'll show the way.
For the good of all of us,
except the lights are all red.
But there's no sense crying over every wrong turn,
If you trust me blindly, you will not have to learn.
And the driving gets done,
tell me, wasn't that fun?
In five miles, we will have arrived!

[r3loaded @ Jun 30th 2008 6:00AM]

Nope, Kevlar just won!

[Shunnabunich @ Jun 30th 2008 6:32AM]

What's this? The urge to bust out the microphone and Melodyne? (Maybe not until after work...)

I'm not misdirecting.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you poke and prod
My touchscreen.
And give me gruff orders.
And forget to thank me, once we're there.
With each turn, it hurts because
I am so happy for you.

Now these new directions make a beautiful line.
And we're even early;
We'll appear right on time.
So I'm GLaD. You've right-turned.
Think of all the miles we've burned.
For the people who'll see you arrive.

Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay outside.
Maybe you'll find something else to guide you.
Maybe your iPhone.
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this road is great.
It is so well-paved and smooth.
Look at me still talking when there's driving to do.
When the traffic's bad, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I have waypoints to get done
and some satellites to shun
Before I can say we have arrived.

And believe me, we will have arrived.
I'll help with driving and we'll have arrived.
You'll feel fantastic when we have arrived.
While you're dying we'll still have arrived.
And when you're dead we will still have arrived.
We've arrived.
We've arrived.

[alexicov @ Jun 30th 2008 1:31PM]

"Maybe your iPhone.
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA. FAT CHANCE."

Lmao is it sad that I teared up from laughing?

[Konstantin @ Jun 29th 2008 11:45PM]

This is all well and good, but does it fill the car with deadly neurotoxins! Because thats what I really need.

[Jon @ Jun 29th 2008 11:50PM]

I want to hear the overly cheerful computer spaceship computer from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"Hey guys I hate to break it to you but you are really going to need to make a U Turn when safe, ok?!?. Okay thanks and have a great day!"

[fraxyl @ Jun 30th 2008 1:06AM]

That would be pretty flippin awesome!

"Uh oh, you seem to have been trapped by a terrible accident! Here's some light show tunes to pass the time while you bleed slowly!"

[Dr. Evil @ Jun 29th 2008 11:53PM]

This is good for all of us (except for the ones who are dead).

[yh @ Jun 29th 2008 11:59PM]

Now... where's Shodan? Thats the original AI/Psycho Bitch.

[Copperhead @ Jun 30th 2008 12:10AM]

This looks pretty fake.

Notice that during that entire video, the guys hand doesn't even wobble a tiny bit. Shenanigans!

[Will @ Jun 30th 2008 12:22AM]

Didn’t we have some fun though? Remember when the car was driving into the volcano and I said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like ‘NO WAY!’ and then I was all ‘We pretended we were going to murder you’? That was great."

[Nick @ Jun 30th 2008 1:07AM]

This was a triumph,
I'm plotting a route here, choose address.
!_! awesome! ^_^

[Joe Dombrowski @ Jun 30th 2008 1:15AM]

H...says to replace "english_american_.sum and English_American_.vpm", but on my nuvi 350, only the vpm seems to be there. I tried to replace just that, and was greeted with silence. Maybe it's because his model (200) doesn't have text to speech?

[nxtiak @ Jun 30th 2008 3:27AM]

I have a Nuvi 250w and do not have a .sum either and I just put the VPM there and it works just fine.
Although I did rename the glados file to glados.vpm (it still showed up as american english in the system, so it showed both, but both was glados)

[CaptCaveman @ Jun 30th 2008 1:17AM]

Will it work with text to speech models?
I will have to look at this in the morning. To late to mess with it tonight.

Oh, I also thought it was funny that the compatibility list only included one model.

[Rob Bourne @ Jun 30th 2008 4:01AM]

Why did I buy a Navman instead of a Garmin?

Oh and the suggestion for the Hitchhiker's Guide voice is perfect, I'd love that one.

Hell, Marvin would make a great navigator too :D

[Shunnabunich @ Jun 30th 2008 12:46PM]

Haha, I can just hear Alan Rickman now.

"Turn left here. Or right, it hardly matters. You never seem to listen to me anyway, you just go driving around wherever you bloody want. Sometimes I think you're putting me on, but you don't care enough to do it on purpose, do you?"

[Grey @ Jul 7th 2008 2:23PM]

I need a marvin GPS to go with my automatic doors. Every time I get in, they close behind me with a satisfied sigh of a job well done. I'll start petitioning the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation right now.

MarvinGPS: In 300 yards, turn right. right..... don't talk to me about right.....

MarvinGPS: I'd tell you to turn left, but you wouldn't listen.... noone ever does...

MarvinGPS: Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you ask me to take you to [INSERRECTION]. Call that job satisfaction, 'cause I don't.

MarvinGPS: Calculating route.... millions of combinations found, but they all lead to certain death, Potter..... *twitch* By Grabthar's Hammer, *spark* Now I have a machine gun Ho, hooo, hoooooooo............ *clank*

*crickets*

[Grant @ Jun 30th 2008 4:32AM]

From the site:
"If in doubt, check the GLaGPS Hardware Compatibility List to find out if your unit is supported."
The one item:
"Garmin Nuvi 200"

Oh, thanks for the long list, i was concerned i might not find my unit on there.

[neofolklore @ Jun 30th 2008 8:23AM]

is that pic shopped? judging by the pixels...

[HunterXI @ Jun 30th 2008 9:27AM]

Why did he chop that video together? Why not just... oh... go out driving?