Caption contest: Chinese S.W.A.T. team caught ridin' dirty... on Segways

Look, protecting the world from the terror of Jihadists is serious business -- which is why we're not sure that rolling up on a Segway is the best way to get the Axis of Evil to drop its weapon / bomb / fanatic mindset... still, Jackie Chan will be psyched. Our suggestion? the electric unicycle.

Josh T: "Stop! Step out of the vehicle and agree to be my friend."
Don: "Don't make me lean forward and come over there."
Chris: "Do it... do it now! Get to the human transportah!"
Josh F: "Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAKE!"
Ryan: "Watch yourself, Frank, we're dealing with professionals. They've got a... car."
Darren: "So, um, is it safe to back away from this vehicle?"
Richard: "Yes, this would be more intimidating from a Humvee, but y'know, gas prices these days..."
Nilay: "Put the Roomba down!"
Thomas: "Quit calling me Ginger, I'm a day walker!"

[Thanks, Mike]

[decapit8 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:05PM]

hooray! none of those even made me smile

(single clap)

[jermaine @ Jul 1st 2008 5:24PM]

they see me rollin, they hatin...

[Dave @ Jul 1st 2008 5:27PM]

Now we can beat down protesters in Tibet even quicker!!!

[CT @ Jul 1st 2008 5:30PM]

Once the Rush Hour 4 production photos hit the internet, Jackie Chan realized he shouldn't have inked a deal with Segway for product placement.

[Chad @ Jul 1st 2008 5:48PM]

"To the batmo... err... Segways."

[Reader @ Jul 1st 2008 5:51PM]

Ryan's made me laugh, and Thomas gets points for the South Park reference.

[maty @ Jul 1st 2008 6:01PM]

"North Korean 'Robocop' project trials prove inconclusive as police are foiled by parked car".

[TC @ Jul 1st 2008 6:27PM]

...Ninja egg-and-spoon race ruined by careless parking...

[deyanimay @ Jul 1st 2008 7:58PM]

add on a toilette and this would have everything i need.

[Ray @ Jul 2nd 2008 1:12AM]

RC Segways make for IRL rail shooters!

[blade417 @ Jul 2nd 2008 2:48PM]

How will they strafe?

[pascual castro @ Jul 3rd 2008 6:11PM]

I smell a new Counterstrike mod coming up..

[KAIKAI @ Jul 3rd 2008 7:49PM]

are those knockoff segways?????

[Todd @ Jul 1st 2008 5:05PM]

"...Headquarters this is unit seven, we have the terror suspects in sight...as long as they don't break into a brisk walk, we've got them...Over."

[Marcela @ Jul 1st 2008 5:27PM]

Is this serious?Like really serious?

....


Well, the criminal don't a have a chance, they'll be laughing too hard to be abble to run anyway.

[Reader @ Jul 1st 2008 5:56PM]

Marcela, the strategy is obvious. They take you down with purely unadulterated bewilderment. Honestly though, if I the S.W.A.T. team came up to me in Segways it'd slow my reaction time down at least a second or two.

[letstakeawalk @ Jul 1st 2008 5:05PM]

(sniff) I'm sorry, I'm laughing too hard imagining these guys trying to keep still when their balance gets thrown off by the recoil...or if they need to duck for any reason...

[kjb434 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:24PM]

Shoot and the segway will notice you leaning back and go into reverse!

If you lean back too much you just fall on your ass!

[BigD145 @ Jul 1st 2008 6:00PM]

Sideways shuffle need not apply.

[Technex @ Jul 1st 2008 6:35PM]

Really guys, these pistols don't give off that much recoil, other guns would be a slightly different matter though and when the Segway's rolling back it's going to be tricking lining up your next shot.

ROFL at this all though :D.

[Jherez @ Jul 1st 2008 7:27PM]

"Command, this is Alpha 2, we're in hot pursuit of the suspect, he's on foot....wait, he stopped running, I can't steer away!. Man down! Man down!"

[retro77 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:06PM]

"This is really killer on my back and knees!"

[eliseo @ Jul 1st 2008 5:07PM]

kitchen clear!!
studio clear!!
upstairs... in a minute.. puff puff

[dibarra @ Jul 1st 2008 5:09PM]

"What was that dork comment again?"

[Casey Becking @ Jul 1st 2008 5:10PM]

" I can ride my Segway with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars"

[Osman @ Jul 1st 2008 7:01PM]

who sings this song?? obviously i'm talking about the original, I've been trying to find it for a while now!

[Lowest Ranked @ Jul 1st 2008 7:13PM]

The Flobots

Ever hear of search engines? Quite the novelty here in 2008!

[eliotfrost @ Jul 1st 2008 7:17PM]

The Flobots

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuK2A1ZqoWs

[grull27 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:11PM]

LOL

This lets us Americans know that we're not the only lazy ones.

[Nitin @ Jul 1st 2008 5:11PM]

Steady!!!....STEADY!!!..... Steady Damn it!!!!

[ddub @ Jul 1st 2008 5:12PM]

Great not only are ninja's using guns now, but they're also rollin on segways. We're all doomed!

[IT-Accountant @ Jul 1st 2008 5:13PM]

front sight, squeeze the trigger... WHOA I TIPPED FORWARD!!!!!!

[thedesolate1 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:14PM]

"Pffffft Chips can't hold a candle to us! the Segway Wok Attack Team! now lets get those damn protesters!"

[Fred @ Jul 1st 2008 5:15PM]

I just want to see them do a PIT on a hover-round.

[derX @ Jul 1st 2008 5:16PM]

Richard, you're soo full of win.

LOL--well, I did not actually laugh out loud, but I came pretty damn close. I definitely smirked.

[Sylvanus @ Jul 1st 2008 5:17PM]

"hmm, he's holding a hostage at gunpoint...I have a shot...there is a narrow opening...I sure hope this has the updated software patch [v14.2] to prevent sudden thursts"

[Lowest Ranked @ Jul 1st 2008 7:12PM]

God forbid you'd suddenly want a drink while handling a hostage situation.

[tuna @ Jul 1st 2008 5:18PM]

More like "protecting the world from what its citizens have to say about their lack of rights."

The uniform says "armed police". Would their commanding officer be named Capt. Obvious?

[mer @ Jul 5th 2008 5:06PM]

Not all Chinese police are armed; a regular uniformed 警察 would not necessarily be carrying a weapon. 武警 sometimes also have a paramilitary function.

[tuna @ Jul 7th 2008 6:04PM]

And speaking of Capt. Obvious...

[Sylvanus @ Jul 1st 2008 5:18PM]

"As the swat team closes in, they find themselves unable to approach any closer due to the strictly enforced sidewalk ban"

[phanbouy @ Jul 1st 2008 7:20PM]

+2 internets

[Boarderwoot @ Jul 1st 2008 5:20PM]

This would be way more amusing if they used Samuri Swords.

[Sarig @ Jul 1st 2008 5:21PM]

I can just imagine all the people who signed up for chinese special police forces thinking it'd be the coolest thing in the world...

...and be told that's their transport.

[Sporkinum @ Jul 1st 2008 5:22PM]

Jackie Chan is the dealer for Segway in Asia.
http://www.jackiechan.com/news_view?cid=290

[Richard Lai @ Jul 1st 2008 5:23PM]

That's already mentioned in the article, but thanks anyway.

[Richard Lai @ Jul 1st 2008 5:22PM]

"Hey Chan, I think my battery is dead."

"Hop onto mine then, Lee."

[Frank V. Roesler III @ Jul 1st 2008 5:24PM]

"Station!"

[vdogg89 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:24PM]

lol shooting the gun might make them tip over

[jwbeck17 @ Jul 1st 2008 5:24PM]

What would make this pic better is if these guys were overweight, were balding and had unwashed ponytails. Oh yeah, and a comic book stash or D&D book in the back pocket.

"Halt, evil-doer, or I shall unleash my hit-points upon you!"