Look, protecting the world from the terror of Jihadists is serious business -- which is why we're not sure that rolling up on a Segway is the best way to get the Axis of Evil to drop its weapon / bomb / fanatic mindset... still, Jackie Chan will be psyched. Our suggestion? the electric unicycle.

Josh T: "Stop! Step out of the vehicle and agree to be my friend."
Don: "Don't make me lean forward and come over there."
Chris: "Do it... do it now! Get to the human transportah!"
Josh F: "Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAKE!"
Ryan: "Watch yourself, Frank, we're dealing with professionals. They've got a... car."
Darren: "So, um, is it safe to back away from this vehicle?"
Richard: "Yes, this would be more intimidating from a Humvee, but y'know, gas prices these days..."
Nilay: "Put the Roomba down!"
Thomas: "Quit calling me Ginger, I'm a day walker!"

[Thanks, Mike]