Stewart Copeland composes BlackBerry Bold soundtrack with negative effects

You know how Stewart Copeland plays that insanely slick triplet hi-hat part in "Message in a Bottle," and every time you hear it you wonder how it's possible for him to stay so perfectly in time? And you know how his drums fit so perfectly in the pocket with Sting and Andy Summers on pretty much anything The Police ever touched despite the fact they all hated each other? Well, Copeland's "soundtrack" for the BlackBerry Bold -- commissioned by RIM -- should rid you of all of those amazing memories real fast. The drummer provided six ringtones, an alarm sound, and a Bold "theme" for the company's new device, yet not one of them is remotely pleasant to listen to. In a word or two? They stink.

[Via CrackBerry; Photo courtesy of spisharam]

[lowdef @ Aug 4th 2008 7:57PM]

wicked sick headband my man

[mymaclife @ Aug 5th 2008 4:52AM]

Every call you take, every text you make, I'll be watching you!

[pbase @ Aug 4th 2008 7:59PM]

Drums as ringtones?

[nDee @ Aug 4th 2008 10:41PM]

Wonder how soon the bold's speaker will wear out?

[phobic99 @ Aug 4th 2008 8:02PM]

Sounds very similar to the stuff he did for the series "Dead Like Me".

[djkissler @ Aug 4th 2008 8:36PM]

That alarm sounds like it was sampled from a chemical brothers song off of a remix album they did entitled "The brothers gonna work it out". The track was called The Riot/Trip Harder/Everything Must Go/I Think I'm In Love (It's at the last part of the song at 14:55) That's what I pulled from listening to that crap. RIM should get there money back, or atleast a do over that doesn't sound like a fisher price keyboard rigged to a reason 4.0 interface.

[Jon2309 @ Aug 4th 2008 8:19PM]

Trust me. They're 10x better than the atrocities that chavs like to blare out their phones these days.

[nDee @ Aug 4th 2008 10:43PM]

But you can't even sense that on the street.

[Rogan josh @ Aug 5th 2008 1:04AM]

Exactly!

[Artie Lange @ Aug 4th 2008 8:28PM]

Nothing can touch the opus he composed for "The Equalizer". Well, maybe the soundtrack to "Wall Street".

He's still one of the best, instantly recognizable drummers in pop music history.

[Smart People Play Tuba @ Aug 4th 2008 10:30PM]

STEWART IS GOD.

Or at least, "a" god. Neil Peart, also a god, but Stewart can lay down a fat beat with just a hi-hat and some brushes.

"The other ones are complete bullshi7." --Stewart Copeland

[Zach G @ Aug 4th 2008 8:35PM]

They are pretty brutal. Does anyone else wonder why they paid for those sounds? I thought i was listening to old Nintendo game music and sounds. Like from the 8 bit cartridges.

[gad get @ Aug 4th 2008 8:43PM]

Uhhh, are you referring to the tinny, artificial quality of the sounds? If you bothered to read, you would have (magically!) discovered that this is due to the fact they were recorded via microphone from the Bold's speaker.

[Darwin @ Aug 5th 2008 2:55AM]

Yeah, but as to why they couldn't have been bothered to connect some kind of line-in/out setup or even just a some actual speakers is a little weak.

Having said that... is that a calculator watch he's wearing?

[Eric @ Aug 4th 2008 8:37PM]

I wouldn't say they are all that bad, for corporate ringtones.

I'm sure that every VP and marketing manager @ RIM had to give their opinion.

[Leindurstit @ Aug 4th 2008 8:43PM]

Epic Airlines

Fail the Friendly Skies -or- Come Fail with us.

[Anthony @ Aug 4th 2008 8:46PM]

Commissioning these is a great idea for companies. It does create interest for consumers & sets the product apart. I still use my Ryuichi Sakamoto 8800 series ringtones long after the phone has left this mortal coil (do phones have those?). But I must confess these were pretty sad.

Friend of mine saw The Police in concert recently. Said it was very depressing. Guitar solos slowed down or gone completed, keys lowered to meet the new abilities of all three. Sometimes you should just stay rich & secluded.

[M @ Aug 4th 2008 11:46PM]

can you email me the midi's (or whichever format it is) of the Ryuichi Sakamoto tones? key776 AT gmail DOT com.

Thanks!

[farfisa @ Aug 4th 2008 8:46PM]

Does one of them go "ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching?"

[gad get @ Aug 4th 2008 8:48PM]

I find it interesting that you chose to put the great big "FAIL" on the Bold's screen. What's wrong with its screen?

[Joshua Topolsky @ Aug 4th 2008 8:57PM]

Don't you get it? Copeland's giant Bold -- located offstage -- just received a text message letting him know he'd blown it. He's clearly looking at it while playing. Makes perfect sense to me.

[gad get @ Aug 5th 2008 12:38AM]

The angles and relative sizes just don't add up, sorry.

[gad get @ Aug 5th 2008 12:39AM]

Oh, that's right, it's giant.

[Goatee Man @ Aug 4th 2008 8:53PM]

... For a minute I thought his shirt said "Leroy Jenkins". O_o

[Jeffrey Kuehnhoff @ Aug 4th 2008 9:07PM]

Sadly, the Bold soundtrack is surprisingly close to something I put together in Garage Band. Should I push the copyright infringement issue?

[gad get @ Aug 5th 2008 12:40AM]

Yes. You'll lose, but it'll be funny.

[Shunnabunich @ Aug 5th 2008 12:21PM]

You should be ashamed of yourself for abusing GarageBand to make something this obnoxious.

[tomax75 @ Aug 5th 2008 12:22AM]

Wait. Are you telling me people use phones that aren't iPhones?

[Camperton @ Aug 5th 2008 1:10AM]

Wow, those make Kenny G seem like Lee Scratch Perry by comparison.

[Janne @ Aug 5th 2008 2:45AM]

They're perfectly good!

[Orinjz @ Aug 5th 2008 4:12PM]

My mum used to say that about food that got burnt during cooking...

[Will @ Aug 5th 2008 5:38AM]

Which insanely trick hi-hat part do you mean? does anyone know how far into message in a bottle you can hear it?

[jon.lee.hk @ Aug 5th 2008 7:17AM]

wow you're right, those are terrible. man i had such high hopes. even after read the post, i was like can't be that bad. as a fellow drummer, i didn't want to believe it. but stewie's tunes just sucked. i'm glad i got the 3G iphone.

[Cassini @ Aug 5th 2008 7:54AM]

That theme song and all those ring and alarm tones, stink. What was this guy thinking when he wrote those melodies?

I don't mean anything against him personally, but to be frank, that's the kind of audio garbage that manufacturers always put on their phones - the crap I always want to get rid of in order to make room for the ringtones and sounds that I really want.

In no way does this define his worth, but what a contrast between his and Sting's careers. I mean, it's all come to this: Sting went on to become one of the most recognized and successful musicians alive. And Stewart went on to create some of the cheesiest, most forgetful Blackberry ringtones nobody wants. That's sad. OK, there's more to the story than that, but still...

[MadMike @ Aug 5th 2008 8:59AM]

Wow... Those are horrible. If I had that as an alarm, I would most likely destroy the phone in a fit of psychotic rage.

[telepheedian @ Aug 5th 2008 9:29AM]

For some reason, I'm reminded of the music in the first Spyro game.

[chickenator @ Aug 5th 2008 10:42AM]

yucks!

[Troels C @ Aug 5th 2008 11:05AM]

Its a matter of taste. Though this isn't my sort of music, I have heard worse.

[eric @ Aug 5th 2008 11:51AM]

They sound like Nick Arcade.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO1e6J8uInc

[Matt M. @ Aug 5th 2008 2:46PM]

My only response: Meh

[Key @ Aug 5th 2008 4:21PM]

You guys can always put your favorite Celine Dion or Tony Orlando song if you don't like it.

It's a ringtone, for goodness'sake! If you like what Stew does, you will love it, if you don't, you don't! Big deal!

[Key @ Aug 5th 2008 4:22PM]

You guys can always put your favorite Celine Dion or Tony Orlando song if you don't like it.

It's a ringtone, for goodness'sake! If you like what Stew does, you will love it, if you don't, you don't! Big deal!

[Alan @ Aug 6th 2008 6:53AM]

Actually making a post just to say that the new ring tones "Stink". Wow.

This is a new low for Engadget.

[Dan @ Aug 7th 2008 6:58AM]

harmonically and chord-change-wise, very similar to Copeland's "Equalizer" theme from, what , 25 years ago? Blackberry should ask for their money back (never thought I'd write THOSE words without falling about laughing).