Steve Ballmer, Steve Ballmer's fists to deliver CES keynote

Are you ready to really let loose at this year's CES? If you said yes, then you'll be stoked as hell to know that our main man Steve Ballmer will be taking over Bill Gates' famous keynotes. You read that right, the scariest fratbanger this side of your last toga party will be stepping up to the plate in what we can only hope will be the kind of explosive performance we've come to expect from him. Other keynoters will be the handsome Sony CEO Sir Howard Stringer and Alan Mulally, president and CEO of Ford. Here's hoping Gates at least drops by for a cameo -- it just won't seem like CES without him.

[Richard Lai @ Aug 30th 2008 5:52AM]

For a moment I thought Steve was wearing an earring.

[WhoMe @ Aug 30th 2008 7:33AM]

LOL, true.

Anyway, Engadget, don't you think it would be useful to include the DATE of CES in such a post? Yes, I can look it up, but it's something I would expect from a decent article from another outlet.

But then, this is just a blog, right. Yes, you can use that as an excuse.

[The Joker @ Aug 30th 2008 10:20AM]

OMG what happened to your eyebrows Uncle Fester.

[AJ in the East Bay @ Aug 30th 2008 11:57AM]

@WhoMe: Any real geek will know that CES is in the second week of January, occasionally coinciding with MacWorld.

[JohnTitor @ Aug 30th 2008 1:52PM]

"at this year's CES"
typo?

[etechshop @ Sep 3rd 2008 6:51PM]

I always tho Steve Ballmer looks funny, now I know why, THE guy has NO EYE BROWS!!!!

I repeat "NO EYE BROWS!"

[ridahgadgetguy @ Aug 30th 2008 5:55AM]

i hope he is gonna come out screaming and jumping like a maniac! :D:D

[Kit @ Aug 30th 2008 6:45AM]

I think you should watch Mix 08 and All Thing D keynote before make that judgement.

[Billy Gun @ Aug 30th 2008 8:31AM]

I hope that two.. Steve Ballmer is a funny guy, hope he comes with new stuff for WMC. Developers!

[a ham sandwich @ Aug 30th 2008 11:10AM]

wow. major 'too' fail.

[konakona @ Aug 30th 2008 6:04AM]

Monkeyboy goes to CES.

[N3XuS @ Aug 30th 2008 6:20AM]

Ha! his facial expression and the way he seems to be pounding his chest with his fists seems to make him look like a gorilla...

[Bert Lagaisse @ Aug 30th 2008 10:39AM]

I prefer a dancing monkey over a turtle(neck) ... ;-)

[Jason @ Sep 1st 2008 12:52AM]

What's the matter? Am I not turtley enough for your Turtle Club?

[Kristjan @ Aug 30th 2008 6:05AM]

You know, now that I think about it, the head does resemble a ball!

[konakona @ Aug 30th 2008 6:10AM]

it resembles Microsoft's "Sphere"... XD

[Andy TGD @ Aug 30th 2008 6:17AM]

Kristjan: A monkey ball?

[Kristjan @ Aug 30th 2008 7:12AM]

No, more like Super Developers Developers Developers Developers Developers... Ball

[Will H. @ Aug 30th 2008 6:07AM]

Mama said knock you out!!!!! I'm gonna knock you out!!

[gad get @ Aug 30th 2008 6:16AM]

He's channeling a boxer in this picture.

[Will H. @ Aug 30th 2008 2:43PM]

Or LL Cool J

[Jon2309 @ Aug 30th 2008 6:15AM]

He looks like Stoov Bullmor in that picture, if you know what I mean.



Google Woll Smoth if you don't.

[Taylor @ Aug 30th 2008 8:28AM]

I see what you did there.

[gad get @ Aug 30th 2008 6:21AM]

He's really wired up!
(And I'm referring to the big black cord apparently plugged into his neck, the less obvious earpiece, and the dual clip-on mics on his jacket.)

[dj496 @ Aug 30th 2008 6:22AM]

I won't be interested in watching his keynote unless someone throws something at him.
It might be entertaining then.

[gad get @ Aug 30th 2008 6:23AM]

I'm missing good ol' Bill more and more.

[Pumping_Iron @ Aug 30th 2008 6:24AM]

His face expression.........."I want that pink lollipop !"
just reminds me of that lol

[iEye @ Aug 30th 2008 7:54AM]

"Who would pay Apple $599 for an iPhone?"
Yes you have winMo devices but they are all crap...

[jack1701 @ Aug 30th 2008 8:19AM]

Ballmer distorts his own reality field

[Taylor @ Aug 30th 2008 8:26AM]

I wonder what his opinion on the state of developers is now...

[bureX @ Aug 30th 2008 8:41AM]

It has basically remained the same: Developers, developers, developers, developers! I love this company, yeaaaaaargh!

[boe @ Aug 30th 2008 8:36AM]

I read it as - You read that right, the scariest fart-banger this side of your last toga party will be stepping up to the plate in what we can only hope will be the kind of explosive performance we've come to expect from him. Which makes it a far more vivid and likely statement.

[nephroth @ Aug 30th 2008 8:46AM]

Someone get this man his sandvich already.

[Kelmon @ Aug 30th 2008 8:59AM]

Well, here's hoping for some on-stage charisma. As bright as Gates was he could make any exciting device or development seem dull with his odd monotone voice. Ballmer may be a lunatic but he's far more likely to be entertaining.

[Raphael Salgado @ Aug 30th 2008 9:02AM]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

After all that shock therapy, that scene of him jumping around on stage is forever burned into my memories.

[Vince @ Aug 30th 2008 9:29AM]

Maybe I'd like him more if he actually announced decent products once in a while. Surface? SPHERE?? And good night, let's not even get into Vista, let alone the Zune!

[gad get @ Aug 31st 2008 2:24AM]

You know you're a troll when...

[dan2600 @ Aug 30th 2008 9:33AM]

mac fanboy endaget its not a keynote, its a slideshow presentation!!! jeeze


at least this site isn't based in california, in that case you would be calling them STACKS

i hate when people in cali call digital slide shows STACKS

wtf is a STACK?

WHAT ARE YOU STACKING!?!?!?!?!?!?

[Vince @ Aug 30th 2008 9:55AM]

Done now?

[Kizorblade @ Aug 30th 2008 11:00AM]

You know when you had those pictures which you'd slide into the projector and it'd project it on the wall? Well, they could have stacked them. Just a theory.

[UnixSystemsEngineer @ Aug 30th 2008 12:58PM]

I hate it when people rant incoherently.

I live in California. I have never heard anyone call a slideshow a stack.

[nerdninja @ Aug 30th 2008 9:34AM]

...and these... are not the hammer.

[wickedpheonix @ Aug 30th 2008 9:57AM]

Ballmer needs to go wild at CES if he wants a little popularity back. Seriously, Ballmer hasn't done much good for Microsoft but getting people pumped with some "PRAISE CONSUMERS PRAISE CONSUMERS PRAISE CONSUMERS..." (de-ve-lo-pers, 4 syllables) is going to cheer him up :D

[Andy TGD @ Aug 30th 2008 10:16AM]

Screw chanting pointless mantras - release a better version of Windows ffs - *that* would give him a little popularity back.

[Thaxium @ Aug 30th 2008 10:19AM]

Oh god, hid your kids!

[Cesar Cardoso @ Aug 30th 2008 10:41AM]

Go monkey dance go!

[Rick @ Aug 30th 2008 11:38AM]

Any bets that Sony CEO Sir Howard Stringer and Alan Mulally, president and CEO of Ford will both still be Sony CEO and president and CEO of Ford?

[Johan S @ Aug 30th 2008 12:16PM]

My advice to anyone attending:

If you walk in and there are chairs on stage, leave immediately!

[konakona @ Aug 30th 2008 2:03PM]

why leave when you can watch this guy?

[nicleT @ Aug 30th 2008 12:22PM]

From his in-ear :
- "Groooaaaarrr! Slurp! MS, MS, MS$$!; Gimme, gimme! Haarrrg!, Terminate Apple - beep! Terminate Jobs! Oompah, oompah! RoaaAAARrrrr!!"