Caption contest: Teddy bear torture -- the photographs the FCC didn't want you to see
By Paul Miller 
posted September 3rd 2008 5:01PM
posted September 3rd 2008 5:01PM
Chris: "We're going to ask you one more time: where is the spurious 2400MHz radiation coming from?" or "Repeat after me: Bounce has a fresher scent than Snuggles. That's all you have to do."
Paul: "How about now, huh? Do you still 'wuv us vewwy much?' Didn't think so."
Don: "I see you, Tickle Me Elmo. You won't get away with this!"
Josh T.: "Reaction to Build-A-Bear's new competitor was mixed."
Nilay: "Where is the one they call 'Teddy Ruxpin'?"
Josh F.: "This was to be my final hit, but let's be clear about this. There's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be?"
Darn Cardies. What did animatronic stuffed animals ever do to them?
You have seen Tickle Me Elmo. Now you can own his friend Torcher Me Wuzzy.
Torching someone can be torture, but I don't think that's what you meant.
My caption: "One bear, pushed to the brink of death by government oppression. All he wanted was the love of a child. Now, he wants REVENGE."
In an effort to get Ryan Block to return to work, Engadget has taken hold of the one piece of swag he could not part with.
Come back Ryan or Teddy is going to pay the ultimate price
I see what you did there.
Not so cuddly now, are you???
"I don't even get a cigarette? What kind of **** is this?"
Rabbit: So do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?
Bear: No.
Rabbit: THAT'S FOR THAT TIME IN THE WOODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could this be a new porn fetish?
Even Gitmo prisoners get a gift at Christmas
Mao! Diddy Mao!
"You are part of a rebel alliance and a TRAITOR!!! Take him away!!!
Ranger Smith: Wheres Yogi hiding the picnic basket??!?!
Boo Boo Bear: !!!!!!!!
**Queue intense/dramatic music**
"Red to positive, black to negative..."
Bear arraigned today for mass slaying of picnickers.
Bear arraigned today for smuggling crack.
don't you mean snuggling crack?
Hello Mr. AnBEARson, or should I call you, Neo....
I gotz 99 problems, but the bear aint one.
"Bring out the Gimp"
At least the poor sap didn't have to endure any water boarding.
"Call McCain NOW"
NO ONE crosses Jack Bauer!
Engadget should include a disclaimer if they don't want to get sued by WWF:
No animals were harmed in the making of this blog
"Now if things get a little rough for ya, the safety word is "snuggles"."
Teddy Williams on death row. (look up the movie redemption)
i can't bear to watch any more of this
"I want my phone call"
"This is the FCC we don't have phones"
NO! NOT THE GUM DROP BUTTONS!!
FCC: "OK, let's ask you this. CDMA or GSM?"
Bear: "What's that?"
Alex: I've suffered the tortures of the damned, sir
[with innocent reinforcement]
Alex: - tortures of the damned.
Republicans.......
Right now, he's thinking, "Only 5 more years of this, and I'll be able to run for president!" He'll have to think more about his running mate, though, as bear and moose don't get along!
Mr. Bear screams out, "No!"
Screen slowly moves up to reveal its murderer, Elmo, holding a scalpel in a dark cold basement
Elmo speaks softly in a squeaky voice, "No more tickling, no more tickling!"
Screen zooms into Elmos buttoned eyes, Elmo drops scalpel to the floor, walks deeper into the dark basement, laughing hysterically fading away into the shadows
Screen fades out to music rage against the machine, bulls on parade
Credits