Hulger's PAPPA*PHONE luxury Skype handset could turn your life around

You're such a sleaze on Skype, with that janky headset you bought five years ago to play Counter-Strike making indentations in your unwashed hair. You're not impressing anyone, especially not your four cats. What you need is the Hulger PAPPA*PHONE, a hand crafted Skype handset forged from walnut, brass and pure classiness. Just $300, and we all know you spent that much of your mom's money last month on Cheetos alone. You're good for it.