Caption contest: finally, wasted neck space gets put to good use

We've seen some creative ways to keep your phone near your face without all the trouble and wasted energy of using your arms, but designer Francesca Lanzavecchia's neck brace concepts might just take the cake. Head mobility always seemed a little overrated to us, anyway.

[Via textually.org]

Chris: "Trapped in a prison of the future. Betrayed by a woman of his past. Frank Warren is wired to explode."
Josh T: "After his surgery for throat cancer, all of Joey's friends agreed his new cigarette storage location was in poor taste."
Joseph: "If this photo doesn't scream 'insurance fraud,' I don't know what does..."
Ryan: "Tired of falling victim to random passersby itching to perform unnecessary tracheotomies? Guard against this and other forms of severe neck injury with WuWear's new Protect Ya Neck. (Available only in fine department stores)"
Thomas: "Marlboro's new bio-filtration system completes the smoker's fingernail and tooth-stain ensemble."
Ross: "Patience, my fellow Zebraxians. By disguising ourselves as everyday objects, we have earned the trust of the humans. Before we take over, we will embed ourselves in a thick yellow crust around their necks which only we shall be able to see."

[)law( @ Sep 15th 2008 2:37AM]

" I lost a bet don't ask...."



" now introducing the new iPod/iPhone docking mock Steve Jobs turtle neck! Also avilable for ipod nano! "

[OneLove @ Sep 15th 2008 11:30AM]

somebody bet him that he couldn't fit his head in a condom.

[doctheproducer @ Sep 15th 2008 2:39AM]

"The Utitity Collar... When pockets are too much of a hassle, you're solid from the neck up." Available only in unmistakably flamboyant pastels.

[karts41 @ Sep 15th 2008 2:41AM]

some wonder if Francesca will ever fully understand nicotine patches...

[sw @ Sep 15th 2008 2:45AM]

Nicotine neck patch 2.0.. it sucks the nicotine right outta real cigarettes!

(only $9.95, Malboro's sold separately)

[CT @ Sep 15th 2008 10:04AM]

After the tracheotomy, it was only natural to keep my smokes on top of the scar to remind me of the good ol' days.

[CT @ Sep 15th 2008 10:10AM]

After the tracheotomy, it was only natural to keep my smokes on top of the scar to remind me of the good ol' days.

[collegekid13 @ Sep 15th 2008 2:46AM]

instant turtleneck

just add shirt

[Muhammed @ Sep 15th 2008 2:46AM]

Dang, that's a red Marlboro! good choice!

[Prokanda @ Sep 15th 2008 2:55AM]

First... Marlboro reds are f'ing nasty.

Second, Marlboro full flavored (menthol, reds, etc.) have the whole top as one color... this one clearly has the white border. So that means it's something like the flavor 47 or whatever it is.

[Simon @ Sep 15th 2008 5:00AM]

Marlboro Lights, I think :)

[bidur @ Sep 15th 2008 2:47AM]

how to dial the number .. ?

may be ask some one to do that ... :)

[Jon Nelson @ Sep 15th 2008 2:52AM]

Hahah! That was my first reaction too. I could've sworn it was a phone under there until I saw the smoking comments made by the writers here.

And in that same vein (of assuming it's a phone), my caption:

"..I just want my phone call..*smacks lips*"

*BOOOOM*

[GON @ Sep 15th 2008 2:48AM]

When keepin' it real fake goes wrong.

[)law( @ Sep 15th 2008 2:54AM]

" Now no will ever suspect that I have hickies from the ugly girl at the bar last night..."

[Skor @ Sep 15th 2008 2:59AM]

"Ribbit"

[Noodle @ Sep 15th 2008 3:06AM]

Dear Macgyver,

I'm being held captive against my will. With this letter I have sent a lampshade a pen and a packet a Marlboro's please come rescue me......

Many months later after receiving this photo they got the impression that maybe help wasn't coming.

[le Chen @ Sep 15th 2008 3:10AM]

He must feel really hot...

[Wiigee @ Sep 15th 2008 3:15AM]

Always wanted that disabled fare on the bus? Well here is your chance!

[Redhat Kernal @ Sep 15th 2008 3:19AM]

"Young Bill did say that he was allergic to nicotine, but even the doctors were confused as to how it turned yellow..."

[klew @ Sep 15th 2008 3:23AM]

With our patented detoxification collar, all those nasty toxins will seep out your pores, where our secret technology will reconstitute them into their original form.

[Redhat Kernal @ Sep 15th 2008 3:24AM]

"The new anti-smoking laws in Iowa have gone too far."

[Osayi @ Sep 15th 2008 3:24AM]

"What do you mean smoking's not allowed in this plane? Do I look like a smoker? Oh and the pen's for signing my, uh, cast."

[)law( @ Sep 15th 2008 3:36AM]

"dear engadget reader I would like to play a game, the device around your neck holds the key to your future..."

[Hanif Payandeh @ Sep 15th 2008 3:36AM]

The only drawback to being the Yellow Ranger was the lack of pockets.

[Ethan @ Sep 15th 2008 3:36AM]

Cheese Scarves are this season's Meat Hats.

[Mads @ Sep 15th 2008 3:37AM]

After a long night out he found himself in the vets office, rejoicing upon finding a mobile desk on his neck.. But where can he plug in the iPhone dock?

[John @ Sep 15th 2008 3:37AM]

My life-size replica of a Super Mario Warp Pipe was not quite big enough for me AND my box of cigarettes. World 6-1 was SO close.

[Wrecked @ Sep 15th 2008 3:40AM]

i wish my uncircumcised penis could do that.

[Dave A @ Sep 15th 2008 3:46AM]

Tired of being called a "geek"?

Ditch those shirts with pocket protectors! Get Collar-Max™ and end the insults today. Available in multiple colours.

Wait, there's more! Use the power of the sun to charge you phone or iPod with a Collar-Max-Plus made form the latest NASA grade photo-voltaic panels.

[Hanif Payandeh @ Sep 15th 2008 3:46AM]

The smaller nicotine patches just weren't working.

[junyor Mynt @ Sep 15th 2008 3:48AM]

for those cold nights invading Georgia keeping your neck warm and cigs close is no longer a problem. Also comes in red. MADE IN CHINA

[Harry Wagstaff @ Sep 15th 2008 5:44AM]

Yes, because China and the Georgia conflict are totally related.

[Lloytron @ Sep 15th 2008 3:54AM]

The underlying message from the creator is obvious;

"I am a terrible designer"

[ashvala @ Sep 15th 2008 3:56AM]

My friends will never know I smoke :)

[Larry @ Sep 15th 2008 4:06AM]

What are bluetooth headsets made for?

[uShak @ Sep 15th 2008 4:07AM]

"Why did I choose yellow? It's the color of creativity. It's also the color of urine, cancer, fungi, gonorrhea, pus, and smoker's teeth: exactly the look I was going for."

[Luke D @ Sep 15th 2008 4:18AM]

I'm literally up to my neck with stuff.

[Luke D @ Sep 15th 2008 4:22AM]

"I'm wearing this to get rid of the unsightly bulges my wallet, coins, cigarette pack and phone make in my pants."

[andymac @ Sep 15th 2008 4:22AM]

'To avoid US customs Hector quickly swallows the evidence'

[Mark @ Sep 15th 2008 4:33AM]

"iGarrote ... die different."

[Mark @ Sep 15th 2008 4:36AM]

Damn ... thought that was an iPod under there for a sec...

[Danger mouse @ Sep 15th 2008 4:46AM]

Foam desk-tidy, perfect for holding cigarettes, small change, severed heads.

[jaalin @ Sep 15th 2008 5:25AM]

I CAN HAS MALBORO?

[Windzilla @ Sep 15th 2008 6:08AM]

iGoiter

[muddyh2o @ Sep 15th 2008 6:28AM]

in an attempt to increase its fan base to include smokers, Apple recently introduced it's own version of the cancer kazoo, the iLarynx.

[Freakin Ijit @ Sep 15th 2008 6:32AM]

Since the price of copper has gone through the roof, villagers in Ban Mai:

http://www.fathom.com/course/21701788/session4.html

have pursued lower cost alternatives.

[robin.mcclellan @ Sep 15th 2008 6:58AM]

Reminds me of the cartoon with a waiter in a fancy restaurant removing the silver cover from a plate of burned paper and saying, "What is it? It's a fried phone book. We gave a fancy French name and you ordered it."

[gettingmymacon @ Sep 15th 2008 7:16AM]

"So how long will it take to stretch out my neck so I look like those chicks from Africa?"

[Fome @ Sep 15th 2008 7:20AM]

"You know they sell CHEWING tobacco, right?"

-Sean