Secret Xbox document tells us absolutely nothing

So, a top-secret document has popped up over at the Cheap Ass Gamer forums from a reliable source, detailing some Xbox 360 name changes. Unfortunately, we have no idea what those names mean for us, since they're fairly idiotic, could just be internal code names, and could be fake altogether. We're trying not to believe Microsoft is going to hit the market with the Xbox Lean, Xbox Granite and Xbox Pure, unless the "Lean" is actually slimmed down, and the "Pure" version is truly the purest of all Xboxes. HEXUS has a theory that these could be names for that 65nm unified-chip Valhalla Xboxen due for the end of the year, which may actually be feasible, but implications that the Pure could be a full-on sequel to the 360 seem preposterous at best.

Update: Turns out this is a fake.

[Via HEXUS.gaming]

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:46AM]

Word document with scribbles. The world is about to change.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:35AM]

Exactly. I'm pissed anyway as my 2nd XBox 360 died last night. I really wish they'd get their reliability up.

[Blackstar Posted Sep 20th 2008 4:38AM]

Yes. The world in which you believe this crap has any meaning whatsoever. Then it changes. And you join the rest of us in reality.

[Muhammad Oli Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:50AM]

I'd buy an Xbox if it were made from granite. Seriously I would.

[Kizorblade Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:27AM]

Provided you don't break your back from lugging the thing to your car.

[bioadam Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:30AM]

And you'd pay a fortune in shipping for each RROD incident.

[Branhower Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:50AM]

Is it just me, or do those codenames make the Xbox seem like it comes from Starbucks?

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:52AM]

Pure = Arcade

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:05AM]

That's what it sounds like to me. The others were just code names for the same product. "Lean" and "Pure" being fancy talk for "stripped down."

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 11:15AM]

I think they prefer you to call it 'streamlined'

[Bookmark Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:53AM]

i don't care what name it is.. all i want is cheaper games and accessories

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 12:07PM]

Says a screw.

[Solipsism Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:58AM]

if names could be put to those initials, that might help

[Bananarama Posted Sep 19th 2008 8:59AM]

I've got another theory, on this last weeks CAGcast Wombat started a contest that if you could create a fake rumor and get it picked up by any of the major news blogs, then you would get a free game.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:05AM]

Woot, I got my free game !!

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:05AM]

I've done that MULTIPLE times...

Generally set up a fake blog entry with a pic of a nice looking girl as the writer (just like this one!)...I did it to show my daughter's the power they could yield in the gaming industry solely on being female (Jade anyone?).

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:03AM]

How is a person with one blog entry (the other two are blank) a 'reliable source'?

[cookiebits Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:15AM]

Well what we do know is that the metal plates have been disregarded... :O

[gp Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:17AM]

What's worse than making news out of "documents that tell us absolutely nothing" and contain names that are "fairly idiotic" is having a vague notion that this is rubbish but publishing it anyway. For the nth time, very well done, Engadget.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:20AM]

Ok so I call fake on this, If this was really an internal microsoft document it would most likely be on Microsoft letter head, also most companies don't have you initial in a blank space especially when it has to with something as major the naming of the new console.

[substance90 Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:26AM]

I wonder why Engadget sometimes puts up a news that is of absolutely no interest and they even admit it...

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 11:06AM]

Apple didn't release anything.

Gotta fill the space with something :\

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:28AM]

If real I see a redesign ala PSONE and the PS2

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:30AM]

Thank Bernie...another great site is http://www.ratemyeverything.net/post/2423/Kiss_My_Ass_Shorts.aspx

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:36AM]

I made my own top secret document just now. I will share:

Final:

XBOX 360 - pony inclusion
* Delivered by pony?
* Unicorns have been disregarded. 2 claims filed for mythical horn.
* Boobs.

New Spokesperson - Tina Fey
* Need final approval from KMFDM

Code Name "XBOX - Sauron" (most likely to RROD), "XBOX - Obama" (most likely to have a church official go off on), Final "XBOX - Fantasy VII."

Please approve for third phase.
Please approve my raise.
Thunderbirds are go.



It's secret. Don't tell anyone.

[Rob Bourne Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:18AM]

\o/

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 21st 2008 12:21AM]

KMFDM's response: "Bomb the living bejesus out of thoes forces" with forces being Sony and Nintedo.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:37AM]

Whoever believes this info is a moron and needs to be beaten with a dumbass stick over bill gates knee.
Lean? Pure? Granite?
Its like the whole Microsoft Longhorn and XP Reloaded about 5 to 6 years ago with desktops.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:45AM]

COOL!!!
I want an XBOX Pony!!!!
YEAH THUNDERBIRDS!!!

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:46AM]

sorry last comment was meant to be a reply @ Christian Martin

[DonDon Posted Sep 19th 2008 9:56AM]

Where is JASPER?!

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 25th 2008 8:52PM]

This is FAKE. This is contest/experiment with Cheap Ass Gamer's CAG Cast#133. Wombat is running a contest to see if someone can post a fake rumor and have it spread like wildfire amongst the blogs. In return, the fake post creator will get a free game. It has been noted that this is Wombat's idea/doing and Cheapy D was against it.

[tealfixie Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:14AM]

Don't care, as long as it has built in wifi and I can use my own HDs for storage.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:28AM]

"Secret Xbox document tells us absolutely nothing"

Can't we pretend it was an Apple document and start wild speculations instead?

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:44AM]

Whenever Engadget is strangely not excited about something, you know Gizmodo must have written the story first with more enthusiasm.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:37AM]

Nice Brian Regan reference there Paul!

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:42AM]

I want the version that doesn't red ring so I can pick up a copy of fable 2

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:44AM]

XBOX Metal Plates!

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 10:49AM]

Does that top signature say "Danger Ray"?

I sure hope so.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 23rd 2008 10:58AM]

I don't really care what you wrote fistpittingnork, I just like your icon.

[(Unverified) Posted Sep 19th 2008 12:13PM]

Engadget = had. This is part of the CAG contest... suckers.