The Vertical Bed -- never coming to an IKEA near you

For those of you who like to lay in bed watching TV, but always manage to get a sore neck, Jamie O'Shea from the "Office for the development of Substitute Materials" has devised a solution: the Vertical Bed. Supported by a harness that is craftily secured under the clothing, nappers can catch up on beauty rest at any subway stop or back alley of their choosing. As an added bonus the wearer can be made impervious to the effects of the outside world through the use of noise canceling headphones and mirrored glasses, and the ensemble comes with an umbrella for convenient use in a variety of weather conditions. The only thing it appears to be missing from this performance art project is an anti-pick-pocketing force field -- undoubtedly in the works. More photos after the break.

[Via we make money not art]

[Techie @ Sep 19th 2008 3:09AM]

This brings a whole new level of slacking off at work if you can just stand still and ignore customers. "Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you there? Can you help me out?"

[E71 @ Sep 19th 2008 11:52PM]

Awesome... Might as well sleep bare-assed with 'Insert whatever you like' written across my butt cheeks.

[RC @ Sep 19th 2008 3:13AM]

Rush Weekend at Bernies 3 into production, now!

[gad get @ Sep 19th 2008 3:14AM]

Not a good idea! Not only will you get beat up, mocked, and spit on, you won't even know it's happening until it's much, much too late!

[cantcount @ Sep 19th 2008 3:19AM]

That's why you and your buddy both get these and one person keeps watch while the other sleeps.

This is the single coolest thing I've ever seen!

[gad get @ Sep 19th 2008 3:21AM]

Oh, and you may want to talk to your doctor before you decide to use this thing; blood tends to pool in the legs when you stand absolutely still for long periods of time. Don't say I didn't warn you. If your legs explode, don't come running to me!

[cantcount @ Sep 19th 2008 3:32AM]

Let me clarify my earlier statement:
I'm more concerned with the comedy factor of such a contraption, than its practical application. This would be perfect for British comedy, of which I'm quite fond. I guarantee that Mr. Bean thought of such a contraption long before these guys marketed it.

[BB @ Sep 19th 2008 3:17AM]

Door keeper's best friend.

[blackfeathers @ Sep 19th 2008 3:20AM]

i'd say... put him on a segway and watch hilarity ensue.

[LondonConsultant @ Sep 19th 2008 3:27AM]

Dibs on the remove control

[trekkie604 @ Sep 19th 2008 3:23AM]

That looks like a backache waiting to happen...

[gad get @ Sep 19th 2008 3:27AM]

I'm sorry, how is this related to a guy implanting an ear in his arm?

[gad get @ Sep 19th 2008 3:28AM]

(follow the "performance art project" link)

[absinthe party @ Sep 19th 2008 7:52AM]

Because the vertical bed is... also implanted under your skin?

[bidmead @ Sep 19th 2008 3:29AM]

Not a new idea.

I think he pinched this off the inventor of those vertical space-saving baths that have been on display for at least a decade now at B&Q.

--
Chris

[ronald.raygun @ Sep 19th 2008 3:44AM]

do you have to stand on a metal grate for it to work?

oh and...

its a door keeper's best friend! i just wanted to fit in like everyone else

[KC @ Sep 19th 2008 3:44AM]

That's too much work for trying to slack off...

[Vicada @ Sep 19th 2008 7:41AM]

Exactly, plus you have to carry this enormous suitcase around and that's real work, not slacking off.

[Cagrino @ Sep 19th 2008 3:49AM]

Does that force field ward off mugger's stabbings?

[Elijah @ Sep 19th 2008 3:49AM]

Are those the Conquistadors?

They run small.

[dervheid @ Sep 19th 2008 3:56AM]

1 word;

CONEHEADS.

[takashisenke @ Sep 19th 2008 4:12AM]

Only available at Gitmo. Waterboarding accessories sold separately.

[mmh @ Sep 19th 2008 4:38AM]

It looks like it needs to be stabilized to certain ground environments, like the sewage he's "sleeping" on top of.

[Charlie @ Sep 19th 2008 5:32AM]

Two words - Suspension Trauma

[pretol @ Sep 19th 2008 5:41AM]

OMG, this is perfect for standing in line for my iPhone 3.0

[blah @ Sep 19th 2008 6:06AM]

Rumored anti-pickpocket forcefield is in development. Code name: DOG.

[turn_self_off @ Sep 19th 2008 7:32AM]

or maybe rubber gloves and a 10000V shock system for each pocket ;)

[inteller @ Sep 19th 2008 8:04AM]

mount that thing to a segway and I think we are on to something!

[Marc @ Sep 19th 2008 9:13AM]

BAGS NOT getting robbed

[joe @ Sep 19th 2008 9:20AM]

why is he wearing red sneakers in a suit?

[michael @ Sep 19th 2008 9:21AM]

I like the Aviators, I'm pretty sure this whole thing would be a flop w/out the Aviators...

[kirk @ Sep 19th 2008 9:34AM]

i think those red sneakers are hot! (he's kinda cute too)

[crazypenguin @ Sep 19th 2008 9:53AM]

this will fail even more than the nubrella thing, which even though it looks horrible, would work very nicely for a buzz lightyear outfit...

[MarkS @ Sep 19th 2008 11:15AM]

One major product flaw: Morning wood.

[Zak @ Sep 19th 2008 1:23PM]

Jesus that made me laugh.

[emirabal @ Sep 19th 2008 11:46AM]

What i see here is a introduction to a future product of the shock absorbing leg attachments worn in portal. Thats where i see this going.

[Golferal @ Sep 19th 2008 1:38PM]

One can be assured that one will never, ever be joined by someone of the opposite sex in this contraption.

[jupiterthunder @ Sep 19th 2008 3:11PM]

If they seriously considered getting one of these, they had probably already decided that ship had sailed.

[jupiterthunder @ Sep 19th 2008 3:13PM]

If you need to sleep so badly that you resort to using one of these anywhere other than the basement of you mom's house, then I would think you'd be too tired/sleepy to put it together right.

[Tohe @ Sep 20th 2008 12:36PM]

Haha and I thought that PC vs. Mac add guy had the worst job in the world!