Apple patent application reveals grandiose RF module plans

As should be clear by now, patent application land is quite a bit different than actual product land, but that's never stopped companies from devising their share of ambitious ideas and, in the case of Apple, perhaps more than its share. Its latest describes an all-encompassing "personal area network" that would make use of RF modules in everything to communicate with each other and connect to the internet. That would include devices with both short range (WiFi and Bluetooth) and long range (GSM, EDGE, etc) communications capabilities, as well as devices with just short range modules, which would be able to communicate with and identify themselves to any other modules around and, potentially, piggyback their way onto the internet. Ambitious, to be sure, but we think Apple may have to come up with a catchier t-shirt slogan if they really want to sell it.

[Via Unwired View]

[BJ is Gooder @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:49AM]

An Apple patent application just isn't the same without 'the claw'...

[horizontaleight @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:36PM]

You want to talk about the definition of a patent troll? This is ludicrous. You can't patent the mere prospect of potentially adding an RF device to every material in existence.

[jorvay @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:20PM]

Did Apple actually just apply for a patent to keep track of...um...stuff...with RFID tags? And here I was going to use RFID tags as toilet paper! Oh Apple, you're so smart.

Joking aside, this is like knowing that you can use a pipe to move water from one place to another, then applying for a patent to use a network of pipes to supply water to multiple end points from a common start point.
Anybody else here ever actually research the origins of patent law (or copyright law for that matter)? If you haven't, I wouldn't recommend doing it. Your findings will just depress you.

[maty @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:20PM]

Looks to me like they're patented:
RF Car bomb
RF Shoe Bomb
RF Rucksack/Handbag bombs
RF iBomb
House roof

Its a conspiracy I tells ya!

[Sisyphus @ Oct 23rd 2008 3:53PM]

You guys really ought to check out MY patent application:

http://www.zazzle.com/shirt_having_built_in_pocket-235988739533756680

[absurdio @ Oct 23rd 2008 9:15PM]

Haha. Bravo, sisyphus. :)
I was thinking of just using a marker and a t-shirt.
Anyway, I think that'd be hilarious to the three people that'd get the joke.
Good luck with the sales.

[iEye @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:49AM]

Even i think this is going too far...

iShirt, iHouse, iCar, iShoe, iPurse, iNapsack...

[Sisyphus @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:51AM]

iPhenomenology iOf iPerception

[untitled @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:06PM]

and don't forget the iRack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE

[Esat Dedezade @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:10PM]

...

'screenshot taken and saved'

[j_g_puff @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:14PM]

I was admiring the iClownShoes

[absurdio @ Oct 23rd 2008 9:22PM]

also, iRaq:

http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/warposter/

[waiownsyou @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:49AM]

I swear, Apple files these patents just for laughs and to throw fanboys off.

[UnixSystemsEngineer @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:03PM]

For the uninitiated,

Apple product lifecycle: http://www.misterbg.org/AppleProductCycle/

Always good for a laugh. The patent applications sure do bring out the crazy speculation.

[happy_penguin @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:21PM]

HAHA... I have never seen that before but it's a friggin scream. :D

[Kyle @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:52AM]

I have that shirt!

Dammit, Apple totally ripped off my shirt...ladies?

[warrrennnnn @ Oct 24th 2008 2:22AM]

Hahaha, if that is a Demetri Martin reference, you, sir, have won.

[A-Deca @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:53AM]

Apple can't even manage to get MobileMe to freakin' work decently, how do they expect to get THAT to run?

[tom @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:15PM]

Great invention for parents with teens - oh no....the wireless connection between the shirt and the pants have been lost.

hmm...what is going on?

[Kali4 @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:35PM]

@tom

Dude, you made my drink squirt outta my nose!

[L8on @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:57AM]

The geek in me would cause me to buy that shirt if I saw it for sale...

[derspiess42 @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:50PM]

I'd buy the shirt even without the pocket. The phrase on the shirt would confuse the hell out of everyone, like my engrish.com shirts do.

[UnixSystemsEngineer @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:25PM]

It would totally turn into a meme and resulting cafepress t-shirt if this patent image got wider play on the 'net.

[Shunnabunich @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:29PM]

CafePress, here we come!

[Matthew Hilario @ Oct 23rd 2008 11:58AM]

My iBoxers are trying to connect to your "personal area" network.

[makino @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:05PM]

Her ya go:
http://www.cafepress.com/makino_media.320429063

[M4tt @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:03PM]

I was gonna say, I think that T-shirt is as potentially cool as it is potentially really not cool.

[absurdio @ Oct 23rd 2008 9:29PM]

Hm. I now regret having praised sisyphus' idea to get a version of this shirt printed, since his idea seems to have come almost four hours after your (makino's) identical idea...which, itself, came hot on the heels of the same idea as presented by every other poster in this comments section.

The birth and death of a meme in five hours flat. *sigh*

[grifmx @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:05PM]

Not that I'm against household automation or anything, but I can only imagine what my clothes would communicate to my network...

"Wear me, wear me - you haven't worn me in awhile!"

"Hey, time to through me in the wash cause your armpits stink!"

"I am detecting paint. Are you seriously going to be painting in your brand new shoes again?"

"Please slow down and stop running, you are at risk of a heart attack and we have called the local emergency services!"

"Your network does not match your proximity code, the authorities have been notified and are on their way to your current location!"

"I sense you left your light on in the previous room, go turn it off - global warming dude!"

"We see that you have visited porn sites, as punishment, you're network will now shut down for two hours and only your wife can reactivate it. We have sent her a text message regarding this."

[Google Ad Monster @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:06PM]

"that would make use of RF modules in everything to communicate with each other and connect to the internet."

Apple's Fabulous "Things that could have internet connectivity," eh.
House: Great, great...
Car: That could be useful... live traffic and everything.
Backpack: Hold on, how is that -
Purse: Wait, stop, go back one, I don't get this, I mean... wait, a purse? Why?
Shirt: Ahhh, what the hell.
Shoe: Leave me alone, disembodied product voice! I'll buy a new frickin' MacBook, just let me die in peace!

[maty @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:10PM]

Patents are designed to protect inventors.

Surely this goes against that? Apple in it's bountiful richness comes up with an "idea" without ever physically fabricating it, patents it so that when the guy with the brains, determination and motivation comes to make the product he's gonna have to cough up to Apple for "inventing" it first.

I have no issue with people patenting their products and making money, but if Apple patents something, they should at least physcially prototype the tech a bit to have some grounds to stand it on.

My thoughts anyway.

[jorvay @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:14PM]

Those aren't just your thoughts. Patent law was founded to give an idea generator the opportunity to market or develop a product. Theoretically, if the idea generator makes absolutely no effort to bring their concept to market, then the patent is not valid. This concept hasn't been recognized in patent law for decades.
My interest in patents and copyrights started when I listed to a CBC radio show about it. Link: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/features/who-owns-ideas/index.html

note: I am in no way associated with CBC and have nothing to gain from sharing this link. I just thought it was a good discussion and Maty here seems like he/she might be interested in hearing it.

[tom cuddihy @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:22PM]

This kind of speculative garbage now passes for patent material? This idea has been extent in sci-fi media for literally decades, explained most clearly in Neuomancer and a few other more recent books, and even constitutes much of the reasoning behind the IPV6 addressing schemes. Pretty rediculous but par for the course that Apple would try to patent a pedestrian approach to what the obvious direction technology is moving in. A bit like trying to patent the concept of a smartphone.

Apple, shut up and just make stuff work.

[Jeff @ Oct 23rd 2008 10:56PM]

It's premature to say that this is 'speculative' when Apple is one of the few, if not only electronics manufacturers with disparate mobile devices on which they could make this work - laptops, PMD's and cell phones. The only thing that's missing is digital cameras. If I have an iPod why shouldn't it be able to natively connect through my iPhone or MacBook to the internet? Once they demonstrate that it can be done and fine tune the approach they will be closer to making the vision of every electrical device a wireless gateway a reality than anyone else. One day this will become a reality and Apple will be ahead of the curve.

Who knows, maybe one day we can put the hawks & pigeons in NYC, rats in Baltimore and grackles in DFW to good use by making them each a solar powered wireless internet gateway or repeater. Suck it, PETA!

[phanbouy @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:37PM]

I'm now selling a shirt that says: "Shirt having built-in pocket for containing an RF module"

[anonymousaversa @ Oct 23rd 2008 12:50PM]

Wait, remind me again... why do my old sneakers need to be able to talk to my man purse and why do they need internet access?

[JeffB @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:12PM]

So that now my iShirt can run out of battery after 4hrs of wear-time, too

Man, if the act of unexpectedly pushing someone into a pool/pond/etc wasn't dead already, it sure will be if apple has their way here - ha. RIP, soaked-underwear-and-cheap-laughs

[bolezhinkov @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:25PM]

you will need the icloset to charge all your clothes at night. don't forget to take the electronics out before washing.

[Bench OS @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:19PM]

excellent graphic skills.

[dahood12 @ Oct 23rd 2008 1:41PM]

All your iLife are belong to iUs!

[Kali4 @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:00PM]

Red: Oh my, Big Brother Apple, what a large amount of wireless connectivity you have.
Jobs: All the better to track you with and help Google sell directed advertising with my dear.
New Robot Overlords: HAHAHA!!!! Now we can directly control your every movement through your wireless clothes! Dance Meatbag,
DANCE!

[Kali4 @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:09PM]

Quick questions:

What happens when it rains?
Do you have to send your clothes to Apple to get the batteries replaced?
Does it break the EULA if you put different laces on the shoes?

[jupiterthunder @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:35PM]

Or you wear the shirt under anything other than a black mock turtleneck.

[jupiterthunder @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:34PM]

Remember that weird kid in your high school class drawing the doodles instead of taking notes? Remember how you saw it and thought what the f*ck is that? Remember the explanation that sounded like it was concocted in some 30 year old's mother's basement? Yeah? Well, apparently that kid now works for Apple.

[coffee @ Oct 23rd 2008 2:43PM]

My wife would just use all this to track me. iWife. scary.


i can hear the phone call now: "WHY ARE YOU AT DAIRY QUEEN AGAIN!"


dammit, Jobs, don't do us like that!

[Mark @ Oct 23rd 2008 3:53PM]

Well at least I'll have an excuse if my underwear gets internet access when my wife asks me how I got the virus.

[Squid7085 @ Oct 23rd 2008 4:13PM]

Wait until you see what the front of the shirt says!

[DirtyVegas @ Oct 23rd 2008 4:18PM]

What, no support for turtlenecks?

[rob @ Oct 23rd 2008 5:04PM]

Thats all nice and everything but how aboutsomething really simple like....

A Car radio form factor ipod big hard disk.
Built in wifi, and a mode where after you get home it sees your home network , and connects to syncronize your music before shutting off.

simple.

[Wwhat @ Oct 23rd 2008 10:46PM]

Think of this, you could make an automatic door that won't open for apple fanboys!

Or a road-obstruction that won't let them through even, whole areas could be shielded.