Apple patent application reveals grandiose RF module plans
By Donald Melanson 
posted Oct 23rd 2008 11:42AM
posted Oct 23rd 2008 11:42AM
As should be clear by now, patent application land is quite a bit different than actual product land, but that's never stopped companies from devising their share of ambitious ideas and, in the case of Apple, perhaps more than its share. Its latest describes an all-encompassing "personal area network" that would make use of RF modules in everything to communicate with each other and connect to the internet. That would include devices with both short range (WiFi and Bluetooth) and long range (GSM, EDGE, etc) communications capabilities, as well as devices with just short range modules, which would be able to communicate with and identify themselves to any other modules around and, potentially, piggyback their way onto the internet. Ambitious, to be sure, but we think Apple may have to come up with a catchier t-shirt slogan if they really want to sell it.
[Via Unwired View]
[Via Unwired View]
An Apple patent application just isn't the same without 'the claw'...
You want to talk about the definition of a patent troll? This is ludicrous. You can't patent the mere prospect of potentially adding an RF device to every material in existence.
Did Apple actually just apply for a patent to keep track of...um...stuff...with RFID tags? And here I was going to use RFID tags as toilet paper! Oh Apple, you're so smart.
Joking aside, this is like knowing that you can use a pipe to move water from one place to another, then applying for a patent to use a network of pipes to supply water to multiple end points from a common start point.
Anybody else here ever actually research the origins of patent law (or copyright law for that matter)? If you haven't, I wouldn't recommend doing it. Your findings will just depress you.
Looks to me like they're patented:
RF Car bomb
RF Shoe Bomb
RF Rucksack/Handbag bombs
RF iBomb
House roof
Its a conspiracy I tells ya!
You guys really ought to check out MY patent application:
http://www.zazzle.com/shirt_having_built_in_pocket-235988739533756680
Haha. Bravo, sisyphus. :)
I was thinking of just using a marker and a t-shirt.
Anyway, I think that'd be hilarious to the three people that'd get the joke.
Good luck with the sales.
Even i think this is going too far...
iShirt, iHouse, iCar, iShoe, iPurse, iNapsack...
iPhenomenology iOf iPerception
and don't forget the iRack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rw2nkoGLhrE
...
'screenshot taken and saved'
I was admiring the iClownShoes
also, iRaq:
http://www.angelfire.com/vamp/warposter/
I swear, Apple files these patents just for laughs and to throw fanboys off.
For the uninitiated,
Apple product lifecycle: http://www.misterbg.org/AppleProductCycle/
Always good for a laugh. The patent applications sure do bring out the crazy speculation.
HAHA... I have never seen that before but it's a friggin scream. :D
I have that shirt!
Dammit, Apple totally ripped off my shirt...ladies?
Hahaha, if that is a Demetri Martin reference, you, sir, have won.
Apple can't even manage to get MobileMe to freakin' work decently, how do they expect to get THAT to run?
Great invention for parents with teens - oh no....the wireless connection between the shirt and the pants have been lost.
hmm...what is going on?
@tom
Dude, you made my drink squirt outta my nose!
The geek in me would cause me to buy that shirt if I saw it for sale...
I'd buy the shirt even without the pocket. The phrase on the shirt would confuse the hell out of everyone, like my engrish.com shirts do.
It would totally turn into a meme and resulting cafepress t-shirt if this patent image got wider play on the 'net.
CafePress, here we come!
My iBoxers are trying to connect to your "personal area" network.
Her ya go:
http://www.cafepress.com/makino_media.320429063
I was gonna say, I think that T-shirt is as potentially cool as it is potentially really not cool.
Hm. I now regret having praised sisyphus' idea to get a version of this shirt printed, since his idea seems to have come almost four hours after your (makino's) identical idea...which, itself, came hot on the heels of the same idea as presented by every other poster in this comments section.
The birth and death of a meme in five hours flat. *sigh*
Not that I'm against household automation or anything, but I can only imagine what my clothes would communicate to my network...
"Wear me, wear me - you haven't worn me in awhile!"
"Hey, time to through me in the wash cause your armpits stink!"
"I am detecting paint. Are you seriously going to be painting in your brand new shoes again?"
"Please slow down and stop running, you are at risk of a heart attack and we have called the local emergency services!"
"Your network does not match your proximity code, the authorities have been notified and are on their way to your current location!"
"I sense you left your light on in the previous room, go turn it off - global warming dude!"
"We see that you have visited porn sites, as punishment, you're network will now shut down for two hours and only your wife can reactivate it. We have sent her a text message regarding this."
"that would make use of RF modules in everything to communicate with each other and connect to the internet."
Apple's Fabulous "Things that could have internet connectivity," eh.
House: Great, great...
Car: That could be useful... live traffic and everything.
Backpack: Hold on, how is that -
Purse: Wait, stop, go back one, I don't get this, I mean... wait, a purse? Why?
Shirt: Ahhh, what the hell.
Shoe: Leave me alone, disembodied product voice! I'll buy a new frickin' MacBook, just let me die in peace!
Patents are designed to protect inventors.
Surely this goes against that? Apple in it's bountiful richness comes up with an "idea" without ever physically fabricating it, patents it so that when the guy with the brains, determination and motivation comes to make the product he's gonna have to cough up to Apple for "inventing" it first.
I have no issue with people patenting their products and making money, but if Apple patents something, they should at least physcially prototype the tech a bit to have some grounds to stand it on.
My thoughts anyway.
Those aren't just your thoughts. Patent law was founded to give an idea generator the opportunity to market or develop a product. Theoretically, if the idea generator makes absolutely no effort to bring their concept to market, then the patent is not valid. This concept hasn't been recognized in patent law for decades.
My interest in patents and copyrights started when I listed to a CBC radio show about it. Link: http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/features/who-owns-ideas/index.html
note: I am in no way associated with CBC and have nothing to gain from sharing this link. I just thought it was a good discussion and Maty here seems like he/she might be interested in hearing it.
pretty silly considering RF tags have been around for years. Silly crApple... your patents are useless.
This kind of speculative garbage now passes for patent material? This idea has been extent in sci-fi media for literally decades, explained most clearly in Neuomancer and a few other more recent books, and even constitutes much of the reasoning behind the IPV6 addressing schemes. Pretty rediculous but par for the course that Apple would try to patent a pedestrian approach to what the obvious direction technology is moving in. A bit like trying to patent the concept of a smartphone.
Apple, shut up and just make stuff work.
It's premature to say that this is 'speculative' when Apple is one of the few, if not only electronics manufacturers with disparate mobile devices on which they could make this work - laptops, PMD's and cell phones. The only thing that's missing is digital cameras. If I have an iPod why shouldn't it be able to natively connect through my iPhone or MacBook to the internet? Once they demonstrate that it can be done and fine tune the approach they will be closer to making the vision of every electrical device a wireless gateway a reality than anyone else. One day this will become a reality and Apple will be ahead of the curve.
Who knows, maybe one day we can put the hawks & pigeons in NYC, rats in Baltimore and grackles in DFW to good use by making them each a solar powered wireless internet gateway or repeater. Suck it, PETA!
I'm now selling a shirt that says: "Shirt having built-in pocket for containing an RF module"
Wait, remind me again... why do my old sneakers need to be able to talk to my man purse and why do they need internet access?
So that now my iShirt can run out of battery after 4hrs of wear-time, too
Man, if the act of unexpectedly pushing someone into a pool/pond/etc wasn't dead already, it sure will be if apple has their way here - ha. RIP, soaked-underwear-and-cheap-laughs
you will need the icloset to charge all your clothes at night. don't forget to take the electronics out before washing.
excellent graphic skills.
All your iLife are belong to iUs!
Red: Oh my, Big Brother Apple, what a large amount of wireless connectivity you have.
Jobs: All the better to track you with and help Google sell directed advertising with my dear.
New Robot Overlords: HAHAHA!!!! Now we can directly control your every movement through your wireless clothes! Dance Meatbag,
DANCE!
Quick questions:
What happens when it rains?
Do you have to send your clothes to Apple to get the batteries replaced?
Does it break the EULA if you put different laces on the shoes?
Or you wear the shirt under anything other than a black mock turtleneck.
Remember that weird kid in your high school class drawing the doodles instead of taking notes? Remember how you saw it and thought what the f*ck is that? Remember the explanation that sounded like it was concocted in some 30 year old's mother's basement? Yeah? Well, apparently that kid now works for Apple.
My wife would just use all this to track me. iWife. scary.
i can hear the phone call now: "WHY ARE YOU AT DAIRY QUEEN AGAIN!"
dammit, Jobs, don't do us like that!
Well at least I'll have an excuse if my underwear gets internet access when my wife asks me how I got the virus.
Wait until you see what the front of the shirt says!
What, no support for turtlenecks?
Thats all nice and everything but how aboutsomething really simple like....
A Car radio form factor ipod big hard disk.
Built in wifi, and a mode where after you get home it sees your home network , and connects to syncronize your music before shutting off.
simple.