We all know the holiday season is coming up, but even if you're on the hunt for a gag gift for your fav-o-rite prankster, we can't
not recommend the following turds enough. Up first is the absolutely unbelievable Night Sweat Alarm watch, which actually wakes you up if it detects that you're perspiring. Why? Legend has it that no one knows. Moving on, we've got the USB Volcano -- a perfect mix of your first-grade science project and your college-era infatuation with all things USB. Things start to get really absurd when viewing the self-explanatory Glass of Milk Light and the Retro Handy Handset, but even those are potentially topped in stupidity by the Air Flow Mouse and cake-shaped USB drives. Have a look at each below before casting your vote, but keep that barf bag handy.
Read - Sweat Alarm watch
Read - USB Volcano
Read - Glass of Milk Light
Read - Retro Handy Handset
Read - Air Flow Mouse
Read - Cake-shaped USB drive
posted Oct 25th 2008 at 10:00AM
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
schmitty338 @ Oct 25th 2008 10:05AM
Ugh....such a hard decision! THey are all sooo crappy! but I had to go with the night sweat detector....it's not even fun to look at, not to mention completely useless and probably uncomfortable.
On another note, I just voted and there is exactly 1 vote for each crapgadget, it's a dead heat!
brandon @ Oct 25th 2008 11:30AM
Night sweat alarm costs $130!?!?!?!?
pgpprotector @ Oct 25th 2008 2:14PM
Was reading the link, and the Night Sweat Alarm is quite useful IF You're Diabetic. to help detect symptoms of hypoglycemia during sleeping time.
Konstantin @ Oct 25th 2008 3:20PM
Come on Engadget! Why are you ripping on a device that helps diabetics to not fall into a coma? That's kind of mean you guys.
High Ranks make you sterile @ Oct 25th 2008 3:43PM
If I fall into a coma I at least want to get woken up prior to that so I can shower and shave so I can coma in style.
Troels C @ Oct 25th 2008 9:09PM
Well at least now that engadget linked this watch at all, I can show the gadget to my friend who has diabetes, so thanks engadget, eventhough i should have had an article on its own that was less degrading.
haX0r @ Oct 26th 2008 5:29PM
I need the night fart alarm. It would probably be going off all night.
How much are those?
chef @ Oct 27th 2008 5:39AM
@pgpprotector
Useful if you're diabetic, but I think the fact that the Night Sweat Alarm is sold by SkyMall is very telling of its quality.
ybd @ Oct 25th 2008 10:11AM
I really don't see what's wrong with the Airflow Mouse or the USB Cakes, but the night watch really is unforgivable.
theportaleatmyfoot @ Oct 25th 2008 10:32AM
The Cake is a LIE!!!!!
Blastar @ Oct 25th 2008 4:17PM
I would really like to have a cake that look like these !!
But NOT a usb one.
Grey Acumen @ Oct 26th 2008 4:05PM
I have to agree, at first I was thinking what the heck is the point in having a led display that is covered by your hand? but if the fan is there already, why not give it a little pizazz? i could do with some nicer colors though.
The cake drives, meh, pointless, but not bad, there are worse form factors out there.
The Glass of Milk thing is kinda cool too, nothing amazing, just turn it upsidedown to "pour" the light out, turn it right side up again to "fill" it.
the volcano thing is okay, nothing amazing there, but hardly any crappier than a regular lava lamp. it's cheap too
really the only honestly crap gadget i see here is the sweat alarm. the $130 price really clinches that too.
Kyle @ Oct 26th 2008 7:45PM
Agreed. Why not pay the same price for a mouse with a fan and programmable messages than a bland black mouse from microsoft. Either way 35 bux.
chef @ Oct 27th 2008 5:38AM
The air mouse has a major design flaw - the holes are flush to the surface, so actually putting your hand on it will seal off the holes, eliminating airflow. Existing air mice use grooves, so that air will flow even when your hand is on the mouse.
Aguiluz @ Oct 25th 2008 10:14AM
I'll go for the Retro Handset.
While the others have some use, this one seems to have no use at all except to grab negative attention.
Wwhat @ Oct 25th 2008 11:01AM
It's so craptacular, looks cheaper than the stuff 2yo's get stuck with, if you make a retro handset give it some quality I say.
UnixSystemsEngineer @ Oct 25th 2008 9:10PM
Retro handset is cool. They were selling them a few years ago in a much more substantial form factor (ie, as big as a real handset, they didn't look as cheap as this one). You could get a bluetooth one. I totally wanted one just so I could walk around in public talking on a huge handset.
Okay, I'd do it once, but it would be worth it.
John Page @ Oct 25th 2008 10:43AM
The night sweat alarm is a good idea - it just doesn't work too well. If you have ever lived with a Type 1 diabetic who has hypos you will know they start to sweat (and go cold). If they dont wake up in time to do something they fit or go into a coma. The idea of this is to wake them if they start sweating so they can take something sugary. Sadly it gets just too many false positives to be usable. Not a crap gadget just a not quite good enough but a hipe that something that works will come out.
jupiterthunder @ Oct 25th 2008 11:41AM
Well and good, but wouldn't it make more sense to detect sweat in a region that is more likely to get sweat? Wrist and ankles aren't usually the first thing that heats up.
John Pag @ Oct 25th 2008 3:06PM
Nah - cause if you detect sweat somewhere that normally sweats you get woken up 10 times a night. When your writs or ankles start sweating (and trust me - they do) then it's definitely a hypo.
noyp @ Oct 25th 2008 10:46AM
The cake-shaped USB drive is a LIE!!!
eric f. @ Oct 25th 2008 11:35AM
What the hell does that mean?
CraigJ @ Oct 25th 2008 11:44AM
but it looks moist and delicious.
noyp @ Oct 25th 2008 11:54AM
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the+cake+is+a+lie
eric f. @ Oct 26th 2008 12:31PM
That's the funniest thing I've seen. Being low ranked for not having payed a game.
Patriks7 @ Oct 25th 2008 10:47AM
That volcano looks so awesome
But why USB? :\ Wouldn't a normal power plug work or something?
Twitchy @ Oct 25th 2008 6:44PM
Exactly what I was thinking. Won't stop me from buying it as a Christmas gift though - as a matter of fact, that website will ensure that several of my family members will be making awkward faces this Christmas, as well as the odd "WTF!?! Thanks?!?".
Wwhat @ Oct 25th 2008 10:55AM
If you suffer from nightmares or some other condition that makes you sweat when asleep then a thing that wakes you up would in fact come in handy I think, might save you some pain and hassle, and I bet they could use it in hospitals too, or at least a "house" episode.
Although, in the worst case it might also prevent you from dying semi-peacefully in your sleep I suppose.
iEye @ Oct 25th 2008 10:56AM
The ``Night Sweat Alarm watch`` is not a Crap Gadget!
If Freddy Kruger was invading your dreams you would need this too!
Dr Zoidberg @ Oct 25th 2008 11:09AM
If Freddy Kruger was invading my dreems I'd need a piss bucket.
lowdef @ Oct 26th 2008 2:11PM
or chad kroger...
geekout2 @ Oct 25th 2008 11:07AM
Beyond the craptasticness of the "gadgets" are the descriptions found on the gadgets4all website. "I wish I had four hands so I could give them 4 thumbs down!" I never knew I was worried about not seeing an underwater volcano.
Glenn @ Oct 25th 2008 11:11AM
Hey those cakes are a series so maybe that means they're meant to be collected and will someday be rare and valuable.
Julie @ Oct 25th 2008 11:12AM
A night sweat alarm? Oh, dear. I'm at the hot flash age. I'd NEVER get any rest.
Vicada @ Oct 25th 2008 11:22AM
Definitely the Night sweat alarm. And also, did anyone bother to check the price?! 139 USD!!! Might as well burn the money, at least useful if you're cold...
Dan Fruzzetti @ Oct 25th 2008 11:38AM
Hold on a second. These all look like crapgadgets. But please stop and consider the night sweat alarm for a moment. As dumb as it sounds, from experience I know of a time or a place where it could be potentially very useful.
First, Hodgkins Lymphoma patients have a tendency to have intense sweats which disturb the sleep process and thus disturb the recovery process. To be able to prevent having to change their sheets could help a person with stage III or IV Hodgkins get more sleep in one night.
Second, and from personal experience, any person withdrawing from the habitual use of opiates knows the evil that is the drenching night sweat. When you're withdrawing, what little sleep you get in a night is priceless -- the only thing that prevents you from going insane during the process. And the sweats you get some half hour after falling asleep (really) can wake you up in five minutes; at that point you need a new set of sheets, a new comforter, and a new pillow. Really. It's incredibly difficult to tolerate the withdrawal process, and from personal experience I can say I have had those nights where I run out of places to sleep and covers after drenching the bed, drenching the couch, and summarily soaking all the blankets and towels in the house.
The point isn't that it's some godsend, but that I can at least think of two types of people who could get some serious use out of that crappy looking device. If it could wake you before the sweat got bad, you could try drying just yourself off and going back to sleep where you were, instead of having to get up and move somewhere else.
poppadot @ Oct 25th 2008 3:08PM
hey, I saw that episode of HOUSE too! The one where he bashes Cameron and gushes over the girl while popping pills?
Maztec @ Oct 25th 2008 11:49AM
Obviously you are not a menopausal woman, nor do you have any menopausal women on your team. Otherwise, you would understand the purpose of the sweat watch. Or at least, the insanity of the why. Even knowing, I still really do not get it. However, knowing the people that would use it, makes it an actually relevant gift. Damn.
J. Evans Turner @ Oct 25th 2008 6:50PM
If you sweat in your sleep...so what?
Would you rather not sleep at all?
rony @ Oct 25th 2008 12:32PM
so the watch isn't crapgadget anymore as it could potentially be a life-saver.................goooooooooo crap.... er...... strapgadget......
Jon Nelson @ Oct 25th 2008 12:34PM
Hahah, Gizmodo did an article on that air-flow mouse with the LED message a couple days ago, praising how awesome it is.
And that's what makes Engadget better than Giz.
Eadwacer @ Oct 25th 2008 8:15PM
So, the mouse has a fan that cools your hand when it turns on. At the same time, it generates an LED message, that can't be seen because your hand is over the mouse. But then the LEDs heat up the mouse, so the fan turns on. Maybe you could use that to charge your laptop batteries.
NemoThrong @ Oct 25th 2008 12:38PM
Whoa, hold on there, gadgeteers! Do NOT be dissing the Milk Light! Don't even THINK about it!
As a certified nut for lighting of any kind, I hereby declare the Milk Light AWESOME. I'm a little disappointed it doesn't include the standard rotating-through-the-color-spectrum found in these crap lights, but I guess that wouldn't look very milky.
And who are all these people voting for the milk light? Really? REALLY? That's *really* crappier than the pink handset you plug into your cellphone? Really? Come ON now...
I'm getting a Milk Light TODAY. Yet another item I didn't ever dream existed, but now must possess...
konshuss @ Oct 25th 2008 1:17PM
yeah, my desk would look so much better with an old glass of milk that has decayed to the point it's radioactive.
let me know when the discarded plate of food desk fan and filthy ashtray webcam show up.
Chris Are @ Oct 25th 2008 4:38PM
Why does it turn off when flipped upside down? I just don't understand why that's a feature.
Bad Beaver @ Oct 25th 2008 12:58PM
Are we voting best or worst?
I think the mouse is actually quite nifty. It chills your hand and you can have it say "back in +5" or so. Sweat Alert makes sense for a lot of folks with medical conditions and also for those tending them. Your kid has a bad fever? Put this on its wrist and it will tell you when to get up and change the sheets. The milk glass would be half-neat if it wasn't for the stupid wavy shape of the "milk". The rest is total crap though.
Mehdi Cheddadi @ Oct 25th 2008 1:28PM
the sweat watch is for people with CIPA -- congenital insensitivity to pain with anhidrosis ...
MarbleMind @ Oct 25th 2008 1:46PM
Having read all the comments advocating the sweat sensor, I still thumbed it down pretty confidently. Why? Well, while all the points mentioned are certainly very valid, it is rather obvious to me this is NOT a professional medical device, the ONLY thing you should entrust your life and health to if you're suffering from one of the told conditions.
John Page @ Oct 25th 2008 3:06PM
Actually it's the closest thing to a professional medical product that's available for diabetics. Continuous glucose monitoring watches have stopped being produced and it it weren't for the false positives it would be a great gadget. But as a gadget it actually ranks out there with other bits of medical equipment - something your really, really don't want to own or need. Some of the small portable kidney dialysis units are stunningly cool high tech gedgets but...
LocalToast @ Oct 25th 2008 2:29PM
Everything besides the night sweat alarm and cake drives seem pretty useless, but I'd have to say the Retro Handset is the real loser. I'd rather have the Bluetooth model available from Thinkgeek, but only because it doesn't have to be connected to my phone.