Caption Contest: Naked man who is also a computer; eye bleach not included

We really don't know what to say. We're sorry? That just doesn't seem to cut it. Maybe these captions will bring a small semblance of comprehension to this screwed-up reality we now find ourselves in. Please add your own in the comments, we can get through this together.

Josh: "The Robocop program had seen drastic budget cuts in recent years."
Chris: "iFixIt's teardown of ASIMO revealed what many had suspected all along: it's just a naked white dude with a motherboard duct taped to him." and "Please don't play Crysis - the GPU is like RIGHT on my nipple."
Joe: "Mobile computing means different things to different people."
Paul: "There are lots of great ways to stay warm this winter. This one is lame."
Richard: "Unfortunately, Jim slightly misread the TSA's new less-annoying laptop bag rules."
Darren: "Um, no -- those aren't mathematical equations written on my bedroom wall..."
Laura: "Gaultier proves, once again, that pants are extraneous."
Don: "Hello, Starbucks? Do you let folks use your power outlets? Great."
Nilay: "It's the liquid-cooling system I'm most proud of."
Thomas: "Hey ladies, watch what happens when I hit the defrag button."

["Thanks," sgt_easton]

[AKBlade13 @ Oct 28th 2008 4:05PM]

Unfortunately this person was rejected as a backup to Daft Punk

OR

This was the rejected prototype for the borg.

AKBlade13

[TubeTop100.com @ Oct 28th 2008 4:13PM]

Your post proves you should try to stick to one joke at the time. Usually the best one.

[Flashpoint @ Oct 28th 2008 4:22PM]

BUT CAN HE RUN CRYSIS??????

In fact...can he RUN at all?

[Blaine Oliver @ Oct 28th 2008 4:42PM]

Will he blend and can he play with himself (or crysis)

[Flashpoint @ Oct 28th 2008 4:54PM]

I just feel bad for him.

Judging from the height of that window, he's in his parent's basement. The blanket on the window is probably his version of "insulation" and his bed is right under the window. He could catch a cold.

Engadget should start a collection for him.

[Pip @ Oct 28th 2008 4:54PM]

How about...

"Man from the mid-90s tapes computer parts to his body to get attention and hopes to be featured on "Caption Contest" on Engadget 10 years into the future".

Seems like the most logical caption...

[OneLove @ Oct 28th 2008 5:22PM]

...I see the problem...the power cord is disconnected....let me just plug...it.

[iEye @ Oct 28th 2008 5:28PM]

oooh a CRT screen...

a "Compaq", branded CRT screen....

[CT @ Oct 28th 2008 6:00PM]

This is when we realized the studio's heart was not in the remake of Tron.

[Promo1 @ Oct 28th 2008 6:11PM]

"Is it recording?.. OK. This is day twelve of the pixel metamorphosing trials. Once again I am attempting to digitize myself and transport into my SecondLife character Antonio."

[Adoniteking @ Oct 28th 2008 6:24PM]

FIREWALL IS HISTORY! COMPUTER VIRUS IS INFECTIOUS TO HUMANS!
............................................STAY PROTECTED!...WEAR NORTON ANITVIRUS Y2K28 TODAY!!
................................................................THE COMPLETE CARE SOLUTION FOR YOUR NANO CELLS!!!

[Testies, Testies, 1, 2... 3? @ Oct 28th 2008 7:34PM]

It's iEye!

[EricC @ Oct 28th 2008 8:16PM]

@ Flashpoint: You need to get out of your parents' basement more if you think a high window is indicative of living in one's parents' basement. I've seen plenty of basement-level apartments in my day that were part of a complex, not someone's parents' house.

[kal326 @ Oct 29th 2008 12:22AM]

This is a classic example of "just because you could doesn't mean you should, and certainly don't take pictures of it."

[Erb @ Oct 28th 2008 4:05PM]

Do you want some fries with that erm... Computer?

[Blaine Oliver @ Oct 28th 2008 6:29PM]

No but i would go for some thinly sliced 130nm chips though :P

[schoolhouserock @ Oct 28th 2008 4:06PM]

one of the few computers with joystick included

[Joe @ Oct 28th 2008 4:12PM]

A touch sensitive joystick at that...

[Flashpoint @ Oct 28th 2008 4:24PM]

and it has FORCE FEEDBACK

[dandaman @ Oct 28th 2008 4:35PM]

Line
|
|
|
|
| You -->
|
|
|

Crossed the line

[thatrotierkid @ Oct 28th 2008 5:47PM]

why do you think its called a joy-stick

[fanthem @ Oct 28th 2008 8:14PM]

At least his bag of hurt is covered up.

[karts41 @ Oct 28th 2008 10:52PM]

Is that a computer or are you just happy to see me?

[Todd @ Oct 28th 2008 4:06PM]

Encourage by the announcement of Windows 7 being less graphics intensive, Toby decided his wearable GPU will no longer be necessary and took this "before" photo for posterity.

[Ryan @ Nov 13th 2008 8:11AM]

Endgaget,
At least have the courtesy of slapping NSFW on the title... GAWD.

[Paul Miller @ Oct 28th 2008 4:41PM]

Is there a scenario where a post with "naked man" in the title IS safe for work? I want to read THAT site.

[kdmurray @ Oct 28th 2008 4:08PM]

Lost all my clothes in a bet. Now I keep warm with my AMD.

[Alex @ Oct 28th 2008 6:45PM]

check out my new portable computer

[shawnmos @ Oct 28th 2008 4:08PM]

Looks like a good way to get electrocuted.

[10VD @ Oct 28th 2008 4:10PM]

At least they covered up the 3.5" floppy

[soulsaber @ Oct 28th 2008 4:39PM]

win

[Derbeste @ Oct 28th 2008 4:56PM]

EPIC....win!

Funniest comment I have read on engadget in months.

[Znarfaggle @ Oct 28th 2008 6:10PM]

here in south africa we called them stiffy's, not floppy's.

now i really feel sorry for him. a 3.5 inch floppy is forgivable....but for a stiffy?

[Secher @ Oct 28th 2008 6:46PM]

HAHAHA best one yet!

[Rogue_Genius @ Oct 28th 2008 8:28PM]

For your comment, you win the internets. All of them.

[TomFox @ Oct 29th 2008 3:50PM]

YES! You win! Give this person a prize!!

[youngstunna @ Oct 28th 2008 4:10PM]

the system looks a little bloated to be labeled compaq.

[olas polare @ Oct 28th 2008 4:11PM]

peter in family guy: you think thats bad? what about the time i had to work as a stripper at the engadget christmas party?

[omoks @ Oct 28th 2008 5:37PM]

LOL. Excellent

[andrew @ Oct 28th 2008 4:11PM]

Tonight on NBC's new line up the 49.99 Man!
(after an all new knight rider)

[Stephen Marshall @ Oct 28th 2008 4:11PM]

Hi, I'm a mac...... and I AM A PC!!

[Nameless @ Oct 28th 2008 4:16PM]

"I'm sorry, I left my wallet in my other hard drive."

"Thank god he used IDE instead of upgrading to the SATA thong."

[htd @ Oct 28th 2008 4:14PM]

was that guy drunk or stoned? why this post here? tape one with a laptop doesnt qualify him/her as a computer... though it would look better than this...

[koushik @ Oct 28th 2008 4:14PM]

Would YOU like to be a model for dell's new clothing line?

[threefingeredlord @ Oct 28th 2008 9:08PM]

Lol, liked that one.

[Dennis O. @ Oct 28th 2008 7:38PM]

"Hello, I'm a Mac and he's...well, an IDIOT!"

[Atropos @ Oct 28th 2008 4:15PM]

The new Dell Optisex 755.

[Bevan @ Oct 28th 2008 4:19PM]

this has little to do with computing and technology and far more to do with fame. It's a 'look at me' and an embarrassed self aware one at that.

[Toadlet @ Oct 28th 2008 4:15PM]

Is that your hard drive, or are you just happy to see me?

[jorvay @ Oct 28th 2008 4:16PM]

I'm allergic to latex. This is the next best form of birth control.