Look, here's what you need to do: reach into the appropriate pocket on your personage, take out your phone, and throw it into the nearest wall. It sucks. The N70 from Lanye (or ChinaKing, or... somebody from China), which we've drooled over previously, is a candybar phone with a 2.4-inch screen, Bluetooth 2.0, and a little bit of dual-band GSM. Oh, and a built-in projector. And an interface that almost perfectly mirrors that of the iPhone with the addition of voice recording and MMS. It's awesome, and it's now available for import for a mere $345. A bargain at any price.