Baby Jesus and Co. get free GPS devices this holiday season

The baby Jesus in the manger continues to be too enticing a prospect for some sticky-fingered pranksters, apparently. We've seen GPS tech harnessed on a small scale in the past to stave off such thievery, but now the counter-attack is going national. LightningGPS and their partner BrickHouse Security have announced that any house of worship or school can rent and use their GPS devices (and hidden cameras!) free of charge throughout the holiday season to protect the baby G and his family, the menorah, and uh... Santa. Nice to see they're covering all the religious bases here.

[dBs @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:49PM]

Ugh, not ANOTHER Steve Jobs post!

[Funke, Tobias Dr. @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:01PM]

An early Christmas gift of comedy. Thank you sir!

[Chuckles McGee @ Dec 4th 2008 12:58AM]

It's a God Positioning System! Haha, haha. No.

[Jake Tobak @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:49PM]

I'll finally catch those kids who keep stealing my Festivus pole.

[Chris @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:53PM]

Yeah, this year I'm gonna put the feats of strength on those damn kids.
(btw, its good to see another believer, I thought I was one of the last ones left)

[Adrian @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:54PM]

"free of charge throughout the holiday season to protect the baby G and his family, the menorah, and uh... Santa."

wouldn't that be 'baby J' and not 'baby G'?

[therpham @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:57PM]

She was probably going for the "Jee" sound from the beginning of "Jesus", but I agree that it's a bit odd.

[Jake Tobak @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:57PM]

Gorilla starts with a G, not a J. So Baby G is correct.

[Sridhar3 @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:25PM]

Meatwad: Uh, huh. Who's the J-man?
Frylock: Ya know... starts with a J, son of G. Died and went to H... on the C?
Meatwad: Died on the C... Commode? Commode! Elvis! It's Elvis!
Frylock: No, but he WAS a king. And he did live in a Graceland of sorts. *sigh* He looks like Ted Nugent.
Meatwad: Oh, yeah, I know that old boy! It's Je---
Frylock: Don't say it! Let's just call him... Gee Whiz.

[connorcam @ Dec 3rd 2008 9:59PM]

The three wise kings don't need that shining star now, they can just use the GPS

[BananaBoat @ Dec 4th 2008 12:52AM]

Instead of gifts of Myr, they can give the gift of Mio.

[go seki @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:00PM]

Does it include a kill switch/call home device on Santa's sleigh ?? Doe he get POI and Speed Camera Advice .. turn by turn instructions .. ??

[StalematE @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:05PM]

Yes, and it comes styled like KITT from Knight Rider.

[go seki @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:09PM]

Oh good coz I'd hate to have that horrible whiney female voice ".. in 1.... pause hundred ... pause .. miles ... turn .. left .. turn left .. turn left .. in .. 1 pause .. hundred ... miles .. "

[NERV @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:01PM]

Shall we begin with the Airing of Grievances!

[Eric Cherry @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:04PM]

This only encourages me to steal baby Jesus, take him swaddled up with a GPS and take him to a topless bar. Only to have him recovered after everyone finds out that Jesus saves... dollar bills to stuff in G-strings.

[Aaquib @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:21PM]

Lol..Jesus!! You cant steal a myth...The only leader of this planet is Steve Jobs.

[The Dude @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:54PM]

Blasphemy.

Everyone knows Jesus foolishly blows all his money on tipping at pasties bars before he even gets to the topless.

[esthermofet @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:36PM]

Baby G? Wha-huh? G Spot?

It would be more entertaining to swipe every statue from every nativity scene, bust 'em all open to remove the tracking devices, and stick the trackers in entertaining places... like superglued to the light bar on a cop car, in the undercarriage of a school bus for the catholic school, a TSA agent's lunch box, or stick it in a box and mail it addressed back to the church it was stolen from, postage due.

Subtle, but potentially entertaining.

[simon @ Dec 3rd 2008 10:41PM]

this is cool! and eventually we can even track down where he goes when he disappears from the tomb...

[Bubba @ Dec 3rd 2008 11:06PM]

Thank-you Jeebus!

[Jongscx @ Dec 3rd 2008 11:36PM]

What about my sculpture of the mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster? Do we not get a GPS?

[Messymeese @ Dec 4th 2008 3:05AM]

No, but they're gonna give Santa at the mall one to stick in his whitey-tighties.
Don't ask me how you would go about kidnapping that 300 lb merry-man.

[Neophytos @ Dec 4th 2008 12:01AM]

Most of these comments have me welcoming the sweet release of death.

[Taylor @ Dec 4th 2008 12:08AM]

It's good that we're bringing the church into the new digital age.

Finding Baby Jesus by the stars is becoming increasingly difficult with all the light pollution these days...

[BananaBoat @ Dec 4th 2008 12:55AM]

In before blashphem....awww

[Messymeese @ Dec 4th 2008 3:01AM]

Police: "Sir, can your describe the man who sold you this baby Jesus?"

Pawnshop Owner: "They had pantyhose over their head, but I believe it was a woman."

[Baz @ Dec 4th 2008 3:11AM]

What a blasphemous post! :P

Seriously though, considering the track record, most Christian-related posts on Engadget end up with bitter, little, anti-religious rebels spewing their hatred. So this begs the question: why don't Engadget editors do the respectful and politically correct move, like they have with referring to Christmas as the "holiday season," and simply not post any blasphemous or religious-themed articles?

Interesting to note.

[rajarajeshwari @ Dec 4th 2008 5:59AM]

hi
very happy to see this site.be touch with me i m converted to christian frm hindu family
thanku once again



regards,
rajii

[pavlindrom @ Dec 4th 2008 10:11AM]

This is very insulting to me. Why does Engadget enjoy posting such articles? High number of comments? More possible clicks on ads? Or just more angered users who will one day switch?
I hold Jesus very high in my life, and here I read of Him... what wrong has He done to you?

[Baz @ Dec 4th 2008 5:29PM]

Exactly. My point proven. Read my post two posts above.

thx