Creative sheds some hype on Zii 'stem cell computing'

Pretty big talk, Creative, for such a mysterious product. According to information gleaned from an email that's making the rounds, Zii is "revolutionary" -- in fact, it's about to change everything you know. Everything. The company says they've invested over 10 years, over one billion dollars, and 10,000 man-years (that's a lot of men! and years!) on "stem cell-like silicon that is able to grow and multiply into different solutions and ecosystems," which will "better lives beyond our imagination." Has your mind been blown yet? No? Just wait until you "discover incredible recession-friendly business opportunities that enable you to thrive and prosper." Just what we need in the midst of these turbulent times. Of course this begs us to ask the question: if life as we know it is over, couldn't they have spent a little time coming up with a name other than Zii? And might there be a better place to announce this epoch-making discovery than booth #30651 at CES?

[Thanks to everyone who sent this in]

[imacmatt09 @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:46PM]

Eee
Vii
Wii
Zii

What's next?

[gonintendo @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:48PM]

Αλφαii

[initialxy @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:53PM]

[A-Z](aa|ee|ii|oo|uu)

[Nouman @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:02PM]

hopefully pee

[Mike @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:15PM]

@ gonintendo

Did you just throw together a bunch of Greek characters for fun? What you just wrote isn't even a word. In English, Greek, or any other language.

[gonintendo @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:17PM]

Exactly.

[josh_cali @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:23PM]

Flii
Chii
Sii
Yii
Pii (I hope not!)

[Tom @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:57PM]

Hey Mike, neither is: Eee, Wii, Vii or Zii.

[bangladeshiluv @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:59PM]

shiiet

[Volker @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:04PM]

The Chinese Wii ripoff should of been challed the "Chii" lol.

[wud_e @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:31PM]

You forgot Qiif. ;)

[Richard Glitter @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:39PM]

ASCII

oh wait...

[FILA @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:51PM]

@ josh_cali

Actually there is a Pii, "Super Pii Pii Brothers" its a game for the Wii, dont believe me, check it out


http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/superpiipii.html

[Stupidiot @ Jan 2nd 2009 7:32PM]

Eevee?

[sneakybeast @ Jan 2nd 2009 7:54PM]

Pee

[Boards of Canada @ Jan 2nd 2009 8:04PM]

Pea Computing!

[Wwhat @ Jan 3rd 2009 3:21AM]

what else? Meee

[Blastar @ Jan 3rd 2009 5:08AM]

It ll be.. i-Eee

[meta-fm @ Jan 3rd 2009 10:42AM]

Gee?!?

[daniel @ Jan 5th 2009 9:22PM]

iii

[Peter R. @ Jan 6th 2009 3:44AM]

-_- Seriously guys, it was only funny for the first handful of replies, how about you get "creative" somewhere else now?

[Fred @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:48PM]

I told you so.

[kenan @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:48PM]

Haven't heard a product announcement this lofty since the "IT" (later the Segway).

Somehow, my life remains unchanged by the existence of a $3,000 mall-cop-mobile.

[Gad Get @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:50PM]

That's because you're not a mall cop.

[telepheedian @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:30PM]

Maybe he is, and he's just ticked off that he can't have one.

[bobartig @ Jan 2nd 2009 7:21PM]

Where are you getting a segway for $3000? They start at $4-5k.

[Bosco @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:50PM]

Yeah, I read "recession proof business" and immediately started thinking of penis pills, Bernie Madoff, and Amway (in no particular order).

[Knee to the Groin @ Jan 2nd 2009 8:12PM]

Penis PILLS?!

And I've been using a pump all this time!

The "PenIs Mightier" than the sword

[Forrest @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:50PM]

Maybe it's just me, but what's with the cynicism? I understand the need to approach things like this with caution, but you don't have to be so angsty.

[ilh @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:12PM]

I wonder how they would have written the article if it was Apple.

[Gerii @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:19PM]

You see, it's not the iZee and it's not from Apple, so it has to be bashed, as the other products from Creative (like Mozaic, X-Fi Notebook etc.).

[Forrest @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:28PM]

I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with Apple. I'd hope they would be a bit skeptical of such marketing speak regardless of the company. But there's a difference between skepticism and derision. How about for a change of pace you reserve judgment until you see what they're talking about?

[ilh @ Jan 2nd 2009 1:30PM]

Although not marketing speak as such from the company, they big up Apple rumours all the time.

[bob @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:19PM]

in all fairness apple played a massive part in the creation of both powerPC and the Arm processor with acorn

[acme @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:18PM]

ok, lets all remember this comment for when creative reveals whatever stupid POS they're working on.

[Forrest @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:26PM]

No, lets remember posts like this when it's time to vote for Engadget in various blog awards. I don't doubt that whatever Creative offers will fall far short of changing life as we know it, because I know how marketing works.

That doesn't mean you have to be downright insulting of a 10 year, billion dollar effort before you've even seen the result. I like Engadget, and I continue to read it. But posts with attitude like this turn me off. Not that anyone here cares, but many more like it and I may stop reading.

[setclock @ Jan 2nd 2009 3:07PM]

Lighten UP Forrest! Gheesh. Hard news is so boring. The main reason I come to Engadget is to get a little laugh/chuckle while catching up up new tech.
Keep doing what you're doing Engadget, you're my "The Daily Show" of tech news and I love you for it!!!

[iofthestorm @ Jan 2nd 2009 3:58PM]

Honestly, I feel like Engadget has significant Apple bias but this isn't really applicable here. Personally I feel that Creative is talking a bunch of marketing BS here, and I don't think there's much actual product behind it. Plus Creative completely fails at driver support; I'm fairly certain that their X-Fi drivers for Vista still don't have all the features of the XP drivers, and they sued or C&Ded the guy who enabled those features in Vista. Also, the name Zii just sounds like a horrible me-too kind of knockoff of Wii, something we would see from a knock-off company in China, not Creative.

[Forrest @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:09PM]

At the risk of sounding like a Creative fanboi (which I am decidedly not), why impose judgment on something you've not seen yet? Be skeptical, but don't condemn it until you've seen it.

As for Engadget being like The Daily Show - I think The Daily Show usually waits for the news to happen before they open fire. If the Zii turns out to be a robotic gerbil that can regrow its body parts after a particularly rough play session, then yeah, go to town. Why doom it before you've seen it?

And setclock, I guess my post was more in reference to the trend I've noticed here lately, and not just specifically with this post. I enjoy a light-hearted skeptical approach to stories like this, but when it's warranted.

[MarbleMind @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:24PM]

Honestly Forrest, I think you're trying to see malignity where there is none. The way I see it, there are two distinct and substantiated reasons why Engadgets mocks this.

1. For something really big, the Wii name rip-off and that preposterous teaser image with hanging vines (are we saving the rain forests again?) and utterly kitschy four-leaves clovers, fitting very well on a booklet of Jehovas witnesses, are beyond lame. The whole presentation is downright farcical.

2. The whole biggest-thing-of-the-century-and-lots-of-flowery-promises-but-not-much-else scheme is getting really, really, REALLY old.

[MarbleMind @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:44PM]

Addendum: http://img82.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jehovnb4.png

[kojo87 @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:52PM]

i agree with Forrest. nobody really knows what this is and Engadget has already decided its worthless. sure its probably dumb hype over nothing but you can at least go into it with an open mind. im not going to hold my breath over this but i am rather curious to see what it turns out to be.

[nikster @ Jan 2nd 2009 7:41PM]

@MarbleMind: Thank you!

I know it's impossible to learn taste but nearly everything about the Zii teaser is really trashy. From the ill-conceived phrase "stemcell computing" (any foetuses used in the process?) to the Wii-ripoff name, to the kitschy images and impossible hyperbole. Looks like a marketing campaign gone horribly wrong.

[Jeff @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:52PM]

At CES they will reveal their new Creative ZEN mp3 player with Zii functionality.

Key feature:
- Using Zii functionality to create dynamic playlists according to the type of music you're listening too and provide suggestions of other music you could buy.

[000000 @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:30PM]

I could see that happening.

[Richard Glitter @ Jan 2nd 2009 2:47PM]

I tend to think it will be something along these lines as well, possibly a chipset that has some AI learning functionality built in, and they hope to license it out to other OEMs in other market sectors.

[Ayle @ Jan 2nd 2009 4:03PM]

Naaaah, I think it's something to counter the Cell.

[Gad Get @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:54PM]

CORRECTION: "over a billion dollars", not ten billion. Just thought I'd point that out.

[scjessey @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:56PM]

Just a billion? What's that's fuck all. It's bound to be crap then.

[Boarderwoot @ Jan 2nd 2009 12:57PM]

Wow, it seems a lot less epic after reading that.