Video: Sega Toys' Love Trainer says "the love making, will now begin" [update: it's a hoax!]

Look, times are hard. And since they couldn't quite tap the market with their Body Trainer / FiTrainer, Dr. Itami (pictured not training for love) and Sega Toys have repackaged their MP3 player and heart rate monitor with verbal coaching as, get this, the Love Trainer. No seriously, the company that brought you the iDog is now pushing the already questionable workout companion as a "unisex sex enhancer." Phrases like "please exercise a little bit harder" have been changed to a breathy, "Following the beat, make love much harder!" We're not sure what, "Please confirm, the heart rate sensor!" could possibly mean in the middle of the ol' somethin' somethin' but it can't be good. Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner. Video foolishness after the break with mildly NSFW content.

Update: We've been contacted by Dr. Itami himself about the matter... It's all an elaborate hoax!

[Thanks, Chris T.]

[monkeyontherun4 Posted Jan 28th 2009 3:46AM]

oooo burn!!

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:32AM]

I use Linux, which means that I need to restart my computer about as often as I get laid. What, me worry?

[jgpuff Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:38AM]

So if this is the followup to the iDog, why didn't they call it iBone?

[dhomas Posted Jan 28th 2009 7:30AM]

@ Will H

You must never reboot your computer...

Just joking; I couldn't resist!

From a fellow Linux user

[OneLove Posted Jan 28th 2009 11:36AM]

2 couples making out...then...creepy asian guy in mug shot type picture? huh?

[shogunmaster Posted Jan 28th 2009 3:50PM]

I'll bet that would have been the most popular Booth at CES.

[Devin Posted Jan 28th 2009 3:46AM]

yeah, but how long do the batteries last?

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 10:34AM]

Longer than you'll need I bet.

[OneLove Posted Jan 28th 2009 11:38AM]

extenze will make you larger!!!

[ClarkyAC Posted Jan 28th 2009 3:47AM]

With these, my chances to get laid DOUBLE!!

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 6:06PM]

With that comment, your chances to get laid HALVED!! :P

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 9:03AM]

0*2

[ClarkyAC Posted Jan 28th 2009 9:23AM]

:'(

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 29th 2009 1:08AM]

True true. You'll have BOTH hands free!

[Abe Froman Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:03AM]

I wonder what kind of job you have to have for that video to be any kind of NSFW?

[ClarkyAC Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:20AM]

Attending Nurse?

[2late2die Posted Jan 28th 2009 7:05AM]

While the imagery is fine, I imagine that if you're listening to this through speakers there are plenty of regular offices where people might not appreciate hearing the word "orgasm". Luckily, my office ain't one of them. :)

[Oddio Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:06AM]

AAAAAAAHHHHHH.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.... *gasps*
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*tears*!!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA ahhhh sigh..............

I mean first you'd have to admittedly suck in bed. (no pun intended)

The irony is that with those things on my ears god knows im never getting laid again!

Its like "hey, i cant get it up babe... so im gonna have this really hot girls voice in my ear, because seeing you naked just isnt enough. Yeah shes gonna talk about my heart rate. I KNOW! ISNT THAT FREAKIN HOT?! MY HEART RATE! now you understand baby."

Yeah that'll go over great.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:23AM]

Push harder?
.....man how hard is it to stick the male connector into the female one? Isn't that the first thing you learn in electronics 101?

[Gripen40k Posted Jan 29th 2009 12:19AM]

We learned about resistors :S

[shnoof Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:34AM]

with inbuilt hidden webcam so all these freaks on the internet can see you

[ed207us Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:43AM]

"Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner."

That was some cold shit bro. Best check yo self before you wreck yo self!

[NHAnimator Posted Jan 28th 2009 7:52AM]

Yeah. That's kind of like saying, "Fortunately for Engadget writers, the $80 Love Trainer is worn on the head so that you don't have to take your hands off your iPhone."

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:43AM]

One of the funniest articles i've seen on Engadget. Well done.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:45AM]

Shieet, they should bundle it with one of those "Instant life success" cassette's. Claim your perfect sex life today!

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:51AM]

W.
T.
F.
!

[mrmadcat Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:51AM]

*claps at linux joke* :)

[ShadowMaker SdR Posted Jan 28th 2009 4:53AM]

So when you wear these things how do you nibble on ear lobes?

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 8:52AM]

It depends on how much you like the taste of plastic

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:05AM]

Lol sega

With every pelvic thrust sonic gets a ring

[maveric101 Posted Jan 28th 2009 2:22PM]

i could never have imagined sega advertising "better orgasms."

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 6:17AM]

I'm slightly creeped out. Now I know if my guy bought this, I'd never get into bed with him ever. olol I'd just make fun of him. =] I think I died, Way to go Sega. From the makers of the idog? Oh dear, isex? I dun think so.

[MaxSMoke777 Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:48AM]

I think you're missing the boat here, Mia. Just think what men could learn! Never again will you have to just wait for a bad lover to roll off you, thinking he's the bomb. Success and Failure would be as apparent as the beeping in his headphones.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 10:10AM]

I'm with you, Mia. Wearing freaky stuff in bed? Check. Wearing headphones that display your insecurities and tell you how to make love to an MP3 player? Um... yep "creepy" os exactly the right word.

[XIYL Posted Jan 28th 2009 11:25AM]

Well, both women on Engadget agree. You're not getting laid with this.

[iansilv Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:24AM]

Oh! I get it! Linux users MASTERBATE- oh that's hilarious! Ha ha linux users!

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:34PM]

It's not just that Linux users masturbate...it's that they do it while sobbing, knowing they will never actually have intercourse, and must instead rely on the interwebz.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:24AM]

ever seen a bad Japanese porn flick..thats what inspired this for sure

[Smacksmackums Posted Jan 28th 2009 1:08PM]

Nope. Clearly Demolition Man inspired this. Sandra Bullock wanted to get down with Sly with the whole headset thing. He wasn't into it though. He wanted it the old fashioned way.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:25AM]

Is it April already?

Btw: "Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner." Best line ever.

[MaxSMoke777 Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:45AM]

OMG! BEST - IDEA - EVER! Ever guy needs this! Instead of just guessing if what you're doing is right, and the woman lying to you and telling you you're doing fine, you can REALLY find out what she's into! Can they surgically have this implanted into all women? Maybe we can sign a petition, make it a law or something? Also, can we have a lie detector and a logic correction chip implanted too? Or is that asking for too much?

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 5:53AM]

Hopefully it has some sort of instructional manual, if you need this then there are probably other aspects of how to make the sex that you don't understand.

there are some interesting games coming out of japan lately... the one for Wii that comes with a strap on holder for the controller so you can pee all over things... I know the next big thing... something involving virtual panty sniffing i think.

[Stapyhlococcus Posted Jan 28th 2009 6:28AM]

WTF is this lame crap?

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 6:36AM]

I'm waiting for full reviews and testimonials.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 7:12AM]

what about threesome? they have got a set of 3 earphones or i'll have to spend another $80?

[Nomi Posted Jan 28th 2009 9:57AM]

I think its only for heterosexual relationships...

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 3:42PM]

@shuhtratm

I think they realize the target audience for these will never engage in such activities.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 7:42AM]

This is great, you can use it on the train during your commute.

[(Unverified) Posted Jan 28th 2009 8:06AM]

In the event of premature ejaculation, the Love Trainer comes equipped with BIG JIM SLADE!

[Trilancer Posted Jan 28th 2009 8:30AM]

The Doc is baldining...hes a love expert alright