Look, times are hard. And since they couldn't quite tap the market with their Body Trainer / FiTrainer, Dr. Itami (pictured not training for love) and Sega Toys have repackaged their MP3 player and heart rate monitor with verbal coaching as, get this, the Love Trainer. No seriously, the company that brought you the iDog is now pushing the already questionable workout companion as a "unisex sex enhancer." Phrases like "please exercise a little bit harder" have been changed to a breathy, "Following the beat, make love much harder!" We're not sure what, "Please confirm, the heart rate sensor!" could possibly mean in the middle of the ol' somethin' somethin' but it can't be good. Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner. Video foolishness after the break with mildly NSFW content.

Update: We've been contacted by Dr. Itami himself about the matter... It's all an elaborate hoax!

[Thanks, Chris T.]

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Video: Sega Toys' Love Trainer says "the love making, will now begin" [update: it's a hoax!]