Look, times are hard. And since they couldn't quite tap the market with their
Body Trainer /
FiTrainer, Dr. Itami (pictured
not training for love) and
Sega Toys have repackaged their MP3 player and heart rate monitor with verbal coaching as, get this, the Love Trainer. No seriously, the company that brought you the iDog is now pushing the already questionable workout companion as a "unisex sex enhancer." Phrases like "please exercise a little bit harder" have been changed to a breathy, "Following the beat, make love much harder!" We're not sure what, "Please confirm, the heart rate sensor!" could possibly mean in the middle of the ol' somethin' somethin' but it can't be good. Fortunately for Linux fans, the $80 Love Trainer can also be used without a partner. Video foolishness after the break with mildly NSFW content.
Update: We've been contacted by Dr. Itami himself about the matter... It's all an elaborate
hoax!
[Thanks, Chris T.]
posted January 28th 2009 3:42AM
All your third base are belong to us.
It's Alright it happens to every guy..."GAME OVER!!!"
didn't they have this in the movie Demolition Man?
I couldn't believe this was for real - I thought it was an SNL type skit...
If it's going to speak Engrish, it should at least do it in a Japanese accent for those who are into that sort of thing.
Will the next version come with projection glasses so you can pretend it's a Sega-appropriate Cosplay chick? Or maybe she'll morph into a supermodel to get you started and Janet Reno to slow you down.
Sega, you lost the console wars, but PLEASE don't put your failure and despiration on such display. You are starting to look like the financial equivalent to whoever would by this stupid thing.
I LOL'd so hard when I say that picture you posted Engadget... I love that japanese guy in the bottom right!!!
That IS a great love trainer. He already has two partners.
im just gonna wait til they port this over to wii.....
Hmmm.. I wonder if it belts out "SEGA!" at the climax.
A+ post. would read again.
the problem with these headphones is that you won't be able to hear your partner properly.
Who needs a robot voice saying "Following the beat, make love much harder!" when you could have a real voice saying "FUCK ME HARDER!" and other phrases like:
"Is it in yet?"
"Stop, I've got cramp."
"Ow, my hair."
"What are you doing?"
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz"
then again maybe headphones aren't such a bad idea after all.
You might be doing it wrong and need this trainer afterall...
I've watched lots of (midget) porn in my life, and i've come to the following conclusion: While the japenese may be good at making gadgets, they can't fuck to save their life.
DO NOT WANT.
I think this is a hoax - the whois information on lovetrainer.com has it's contact information as a Russian privacy company
I actually know Dr. Itami. He's a wonderful person and great designer. Why someone would go to the trouble of creating such a hoax at another's expense is beyond me. Very sad. Even more sad is why Engadget takes so much joy in making fun of something this obviously silly without even checking facts.
Welcome to Internet journalism. One of the reasons I quit reading Engadget a long time ago.
To Thomas Ricker:
While it's clear you've had your fun, it's at the expense of Mr. Itami-- a very nice and humble man who you've embarrassed badly in Japan. While certainly you think it's OK to shrug off as a 'hoax', you have no idea how this affects someone in Japan, and their business as well.. Very sad.
Perhaps the next time you decide to make fun of someone, you might spend a second or two to verify your source-- a practice routinely done in REAL journalism.
I suppose you don't care about ethics and journalism. If you did, you would print a retraction as a new item with an apology.
Expert Law defines Defamation, Libel and Slander as:
1. A false and defamatory statement concerning another;
2. The unprivileged publication of the statement to a third party (that is, somebody other than the person defamed by the statement);
3. If the defamatory matter is of public concern, fault amounting at least to negligence on the part of the publisher; and
4. Damage to the plaintiff.
Thankfully, the person you have slandered lives in Japan and I suspect wouldn't think of suing you for defamation of character. I'm not so sure others would be as gracious.
Regards,
Chipp Walters,
CEO, Altuit, Inc.
Thomas,
Interestingly, now you reveal it is a hoax, but it appears Engadget is the author of the video,as uploaded to Viddler. So, we're supposed to believe you spent all this time digitizing and uploading a video but never bothered to even check the source?
Furthermore, clicking on the image takes one to http://www.lovetrainer.com/ which is not even a website! And of course, the journalist you are didn't bother checking THAT out either?
It's clear Engadget is complicit in this blatant defamation and slanderous attack on SEGA and Dr. Itami. It's also clear this does not fall under the protection of parody or satire, as your readers all believed it, as did I, a long time friend of Dr. Itami.
While this is funny to some, imagine if you had invested over a hundred thousand dollars of your own hard earned dollars, worked for years to bring your product to the marketplace, only to be humiliated by Thomas Ricker and Engadget. Let's hope there is little financial damage done.
At best, Mr Ricker, you are a poor journalist who doesn't even bother to check his sources, at worst you are a liar and cheater who enjoys your perceived success at the expense of others.
My advice to Dr. Itami will be to consider legal counsel.
Sonic the Headf*ck?