Microsoft's Laura will rule your Outlook calendar, nightmares

Back in Office 97, Microsoft wowed us with Clippy, the talking paperclip that made Word tasks far more annoying than necessary. By Office 2007 he was finally out of a job, but his spirit lives on in Laura, an oddly creepy virtual digital assistant shown off as part of Microsoft's vision for the future (video of an earlier demo is below). She's said to be able to schedule reservations, make appointments, and maybe even get you tickets for the first Watchmen showing tonight -- much the same as the company's EVA assistant, but not in a car and not as hot. She can judge you based on what type of clothing you're wearing and even tell if you're engaged in a conversation, perhaps keeping the doors on an elevator open while you chat with someone getting off, thus further annoying every other person on board. Can she write really stellar blog posts, though? We think not.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:24AM]

But can she cook?

Love passes through the stomach... and the colon.

[OneLove Posted Mar 5th 2009 4:26PM]

"...wowed us with Clippy"? say wha?

[egghead Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:36PM]

Let's just hope it doesn't go the other way.

[ChrisAnderson Posted Mar 5th 2009 3:50PM]

Best. reply. evar.

[THizzle7XU Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:24AM]

Skynet has gained self-awareness.

[ElNumbre Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:51AM]

I'm glad it wasn't just me thinking T800 series...

[technomania Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:08PM]

I can already see another field marked OnTerminationList.
Or maybe Task: enslaved.

All hail skynet.

[spamfree Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:08PM]

Skynet was never shown to have a "human" interface. This reminds me more of the Red Queen in Resident Evil. I hope those working in the building wear hazmat suits and have enough firepower to outlast the zombies.

[Fruitypopt Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:20PM]

Forget Skynet; Think Umbrella and Racoon City. Remember what happened there when the Red Queen decided to have a bad day

[Kamokazi Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:25AM]

I'm waiting for one of those status indicators to turn read and say "EXTERMINATE HUMAN"

[Erb Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:06PM]

Am I the only one who got confused at first because its the exact same voice as ventrilo? xD

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:37PM]

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/terminator/images/f/fc/John_205_02.jpg

[MisterSquared Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:26AM]

But will she open the pod bay doors for you?

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:41AM]

I'm afraid she can't do that for you, mistersquared...

[Phil P Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:45AM]

Just cover your mouth when speaking and you won't have anything to worry about

[dnl2ba Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:26AM]

I can tell you right now, I do NOT want to chat with someone while they're getting off.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:29AM]

Wonder if this guy will be as excited about the technology when the robot computer is taking over HIS job.

[MikeF1974 Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:33AM]

I guess that would make Bob Laura's grandfather?

[MikeF1974 Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:35AM]

I thought voice synthesis was a lot further along than that!

[SewerShark Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:48AM]

that's just a demo, not the final product

[Templarian Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:36AM]

I wish they would seriously update the voice, tom sounds so much better.

It's a good start, I give us 30 more years till the robot take over.

[superhobo Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:40AM]

Console IRL!


Am I the only one who didn't find the office assistant annoying? Hated the clip but I kept the cat.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:45AM]

Rocky > Cat

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:53PM]

I have the wizard as the splash screen on my phone :D

[superhobo Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:54PM]

The cat had a name, it was called Links!
>:(

[Solipsism Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:40AM]

Sounds like the Red Queen in the first and only even half decent Resident Evil 5 movie.

[LauraJuneTopolsky Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:44AM]

She's got a really cool name.

[Stven Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:44AM]

Can she do the other 71 things? Cook, clean, and..

[joshky Posted Mar 5th 2009 8:11PM]

HAL? is that you?

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:58AM]

looks like terminator 2 has come back lol

[Aditya42 Posted Mar 5th 2009 11:58AM]

I hope she doesnt tell my wife i was cheating on her

[TheCow5 Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:01PM]

I would like to get the finish version in my home so I can say, "HAL, turn of the light pleas HAL",
it would then detect where I am and turn on the lights for me. or "HAL, call Beth please HAL".

what do I care if these things take over humand in the future, I will be dead my then and I won't have any kids to suffer during this time.

[Raptor Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:18PM]

I think you can do this today with Home automation software like Homeseer.

[kilativv Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:02PM]

But will she blend?

[Blacklight Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:25PM]

Yes, she can blend you once she deceides that she doesn't need you anymore

(Wich in your case, it would be as soon as you turn her on)

[GreatSunJester Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:08PM]

I wonder if I walk near her wearing a Linux T-shirt if I will get a red border and a "threat level assessment" caption.....

[mattt79 Posted Mar 5th 2009 9:33PM]

HAL, open the elevator doors.

I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that.

[sullivan504 Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:37PM]

So she'll take one look at Steve Jobs (in his black turtleneck and jeans) and then decide that he must be a cat burglar.

Of course, it's a Microsoft product, so Laura probably already has a "terminate" subroutine waiting for Steve-O.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:44PM]

"Back in Office 97, Microsoft wowed us with Clippy, the talking paperclip that made Word tasks far more annoying than necessary."
If I was drinking coffee it would be all over my monitor and dripping out coffee from my nose. wowed is right!

[darthservo Posted Mar 5th 2009 12:50PM]

Is that thing generating HP bars above peoples heads?

[Decoy Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:02PM]

There are only two kind of stat available: XP and HP.

[bd Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:10PM]

What about that flea bitten dog? Did he not take over Clippy's job?

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/terminator/images/f/fc/John_205_02.jpg

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:10PM]

IF they got the guy who did HAL to do the voice samples, that would be the best thing since the best thing since sliced bread.

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:33PM]

It would be great to hack it and replace Laura's soundfiles with HAL's.

And lets face it, if anyone can make a AI device which can go horribly wrong, it's Microsoft.

There won't be a blue screen of death, but a red eye of death.

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

[(Unverified) Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:27PM]

Arby N' the Chief anyone
It would be nice to be attended by one of them

[cedrikfd Posted Mar 6th 2009 9:54AM]

The guy in the center somehow looks like Jean Charest, prime minister in Quebec

[ulfoaf Posted Mar 5th 2009 1:45PM]

Laura is horrible. She looks like the spokesrobot for the Robot Revolutionary Party.

[magallanes Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:14PM]

Figure detection:

Wallet detector:Blender.
Mouth detector and interpretation :Hal.
Civilian building,hospital,school and/or UN bases identified as a terrorist arsenal : F-15 and f-16 onboard computer.
Leather jacket,keys and Sarah Connor (faulty) detector :Governor of California
Pen and baby food detector :Robocop.

And so on.

[AdamWill Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:19PM]

Note the guy in the background - wearing a dodgy sport coat, no tie, and khakis - is identified as "Wear: Formal". Ahhh...geeks.

[harley3k Posted Mar 5th 2009 2:34PM]

"She can judge you based on what type of clothing you're wearing"

Just like a real woman... amazing, seriuosly.