Raytheon developing compact, inexpensive human microwaves
By Joseph L. Flatley 
posted April 8th 2009 11:09AM
posted April 8th 2009 11:09AM
As you know, if you like your weapons "less than lethal" (but much more than comfortable) the U.S. military is your go-to guy. So great is its love for tormenting folks on future battlefields that the Pentagon has spent a small fortune on devices meant to incapacitate through the use of sound, electricity, and microwaves -- including the Silent Guardian that Raytheon trotted out a while back. According to Wired, the company has recently been awarded a couple interesting contracts relating to their human microwave, including one for a "solid state source for use in non-lethal weapons," and another for gallium nitride development. Details are murky, but GaN -- a semiconductor for missile defense radars -- apparently "looks very promising for high-power microwave amplification," allowing the company to greatly reduce the size and cost of the device. The good news? Defense technology that once took up a whole shipping container and cost several million dollars might be getting much smaller, and cheaper, in the future. The bad news? It really really really hurts.
Microwave uncovered on High 12 to 18 minutes, stirring every 6 minutes, until human is tender (sauce will thicken as it stands). Dish will be hot.
I heard the voided bowel sauce on these microwave dinners is exceptionally creamy.
LOL, +10 for funniest comment I've read in the past couple weeks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM
Don't forget to flip every 6 minutes to get an even cook.
Proof the the U.S. Military motto is, after all:
"To Serve Man"
"How To Cook *For* Forty Humans"??
I *knew* they had our best interests in mind. Right?
Just make sure the LAPD doesn't get its hands on this...
LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!! Can't stop laughing!! Best comment ever
Yeah lets incapacitate them so that we can fill our jails with more people, great idea! If we focused half of this energy on peace the world would be a far different (and much better) place.
too bad the other side doesn't think that way either...
and how do you propose we can achieve this 'peace' you speak of?
I'm confused as to how a not having a morally defensible response to bad people makes bad people go away.
Apparently we are able to purchase peace. Can I buy some love too?
$9.95 a minute.
dude, war is never going to end. it's probably about time you faced that fact.
yup, america corp does have a love affair with war. big money to be made killing and selling weapons.
You make a critical mistake in thinking this if for the battlefields of the Far East; this is for you, my friend, when civil unrest/disobedience begins.
Clearly this thing is meant to be used against poorly armed or unarmed crowds of people, not against a 'credible threat' as the parlance goes.
If you used it against a modern nation it would have an easy time targeting a powerful microwave source, probably with only minor modification to anti-radar missiles.
It is creep the amount of time money and effort the U.S devotes to developing devices solely for maiming/killing people. You guys like to point fingers at North Korea, China, Russia etc... but I bet they don’t spend half as much money as the U.S.. But it’s fine for the U.S. because they can do no wrong with these instruments of war.
So stop us?
This is meant to incapacitate people without permanent harm. The Chinese/Russian method is a bullet to the head.
go back to France and ponder your fate had America felt the same way you do.
Actually Russia and China are currently spending more than the US. Also you don't realize that the money the US dumps into weapons research is more than covered down the road when the US government sells those arms to allied countries. The US is one of the largest arms dealers in the world, followed by Russia, China and Israel. People like you have no idea what is actually going on in the world.... another clueless person talking about stuff they don't have the slightest idea about.
Yeah Dru, our "allies". Like Hussein's Iraq, Pakistan, etc...
What could go wrong?
The funny thing is, if we arent the superpower then someone else is. I dont know about you guys but id much rather have the US leading us than North Korea or China
In Russia, the bullet does you.
Come on, bullets are SO much cheaper... and permanent.
But this avoids the inconvenience of bad PR when you massacre a village. This way, you leave them lightly toasted and less inclined to defend their homes against you... until they discover tinfoil armor.
@george
Exactly. For this reason, more than any other, I am glad I learned basic metalworking when I was younger. Maybe I should track down some SCA folk and learn to make full plate armor.
Or just keep chickenwire nearby. Microwaves see steel as solid if the holes are less than what...1/2" diameter?
I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Oh please, silence of the lambs? I have to return some videotapes.
Oh please, american psycho? Dry land is not a myth.
Oh please Waterworld? Tell me, did you ever fart in front of her?
I am so lost.
Oh, please! Mallrats? Hey, Milo. Where ya callin' from, the bottom of the pool?
Oh please! The Last Boyscout? A beta unit is a simuloid. An exact duplicate, only not as loud!
Oh please, the Last Starfighter? Just what is it you hope to accomplish out there, besides busting my chops?
Oh please, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
Oh please, Snatch? You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain...
shouldn't a fine metal mesh protect against this, (as in a mirowave oven door) or am i missing something?
Perhaps it would spark?!
Guy rule # 532.6
Guys will invariably dick around with any and all equipment available currently not in use during down time. We've seen creative uses of construction equipment, ropes/pulleys, God knows - computers, landscaping stuff, heck - even RPGs and basic weaponry.
Can you IMAGINE the mischief wreaked at night by the folks getting a little desert fever with one of THESE lying around?
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Roberts?
I think so, Wilson, but where will we get a fork, 6,000 feet of tinfoil, a cat, a stack of CDs, a swimming pool, and a trebuchet at this time of night?
@Grey
"Can you IMAGINE the mischief wreaked at night by the folks getting a little desert fever with one of THESE lying around?"
Ten to 1 the first thing they try to figure out is how to get a warm shower or cook a whole camel.
"shouldn't a fine metal mesh protect against this"
Yes, absolutely. And in the areas of the world where they'd dare using this, a $10 RPG-7 from the opposing side would turn the multi-million dollar non-lethal weapon into a non-functional technical curiosity.
Why do countries still feel the need to fight each other? Surely the money spent could be used for something better.
a lifetime's supply of pancakes.
what planet do you live on?
What could be better than the lives of combatants remaining intact? Maybe a civilian health service is further up the moral high ground but I don't see how replacing guns with something non lethal can be frowned upon.
Replace all guns with... walkie-talkies!
just like on ET, nice .