Caption contest: it's deadbeat-tastic!
By Nilay Patel 
posted April 21st 2009 12:47PM
posted April 21st 2009 12:47PM
Chris: "Oh, the boot is attached to a third-party wheel? We don't support that configuration, sir."
Paul: "Did you try restarting it?"
Don: "Ok, sir, we can remove the boot between the hours of 8AM and 8PM. Will you be at the vehicle?"
Darren: "Fired."
Nilay: "CableCARD installations have become increasingly hostile."
Joe: "I bet the DirecTV guys never have this problem."
Richard: "You have exceeded your monthly mileage quota. Additional travel can be purchased for $20/mile."
Josh: "Let's see you dream your way out of this one."
Ryan: "Oh, so you can't take off the boot until we pay the fines. But can I interest you in our all-in-one triple-play package?"
Thomas: "So this is what throttling feels like."
[Photo courtesy of Patrick Brendan O'Dea; thanks Chicago Scooter Club]
"I'm not paying that fine! Can't you read the van!?"
Comcast van driver: "I can't get my van to move, but I think the problem is on your end. Nothing on my end has changed."
Comcast support rep: "Do you have any devices such boots in place?"
Comcast van driver: "Yes, I have a police-issue boot in place."
Comcast support rep: "We need you to take the boot out of the configuration, and connect the van directly up to the road to see if the van moves."
Comcast van driver: "Why? Nothing has changed on my end. This boot has always been there. I only started having problems with it today."
Comcast support rep: "Sir, I am sorry, but we do not support boots of any kind. You must take it out of the configuration."
Comcast van driver: "Ok, the boot has been removed, and the van moves again."
Comcast support rep: "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
Comcast van driver: "Yes, I want to know why it has an issue with the boot in place."
Comcast support rep: "I'm sorry, we do not support boots. Can I help you with anything else today?"
Comcast van driver: *CLICK*
The van has Windows, so naturally it's going to have boot problems.
"How about Talking Less and Paying More attention?"
After many complaints, Comcast tried to play the sympathy card to explain away its slow network.
Bill and Carolyn Slowskys' new sports car.
Traffic shaping? That's an outrageous accusation!
Don't worry drivers - we're only booting ONE of your wheels. You should be able to drive just fine with the other 3.
They are now putting caps on mileage too.
Boot more. Less Gas.
"Nice try, Time Warner"
Park more,
tow less.
You vehicle has been reported to have been involved in some illegal activity, your access to the road has now been blocked pending further investigation!
Pay Less..... LoL!
I don't understand the purpose of this post. What am I missing?
common sense and a sense of humor, perhaps.
Oh, I do have a sense of humor, but maybe I simply didn't get this joke.
I wonder why I even got low-ranked, I was just asking a simple question in hopes of wanting to get the joke.
You are having a hard time figuring out what a "Caption contest" is?
I'll humour you here, since I think you are being sincere and not being a sarcastic - perhaps you aren't American or don't live near any major city.
Comcast is evil. Comcrapstic is their new slogan (or ought to be).
The vehicle has been booted. Booting is done when the owner of said vehicle has failed to pay fines, usually parking, though in some jurisdictions, moving violations too. So, they have been booted.
Engadget is doing a silly caption thing here. Comcast wants/is capping bandwidth for example so since the vehicle drove over a certain amount of miles, it will cost more to drive - like when you download a certain amount of gigabytes.
Get it?
If not, watch A&E's Parking Wars, perhaps the metaphors, puns, and jokes will kick in then!
@Jonathan
Thanks for the explanation, didn't know comcast had a bad reputation like this
@Jonathan,
Okay you see, now that was what I was looking for. And yes, I do not live near any major cities. Thanks for the heads up, at least I understand the joke now!
Thanks for clearing it up.
Cheers.
Is someone telling jokes? I like jokes.
i'm surprised they even booted it. i live in chicago and i saw 3 cars get towed yesterday.
I live there too. Cars are booted or towed for different offenses. They cannot tow you unless you are in a spot that would call for it in particular. Otherwise you get a ticket, and if you dont pay it then the boot comes after 3 unbpaid tickets I think.
In the end while Comcast loves turning of people's cable for a late bill payment, seems they are getting the same treatment.
(Is that on Elston by chance!?)
They put the boot on the car until the tow company can come by and pick up the car. It just keeps it in place so the tow trucks can get to it. And yes they are put on after 3 unpaid parking tickets in most major cities.
Oh! You don't like CAPS?
"Want to Give me the boot on my cable ehh, two can play that game!"
Time Warner & Comcast get the boot!
We will be there between the hours of 8am and 7pm (no guarantee) and there must be a person of the age of 18 or older. No I am sorry we cannot give an exact time. Sucks don't it. HAHA!!!!
The Slowskys strike again!
"Did you try shutting down the Van, then waiting 60 seconds and starting it back up?"
That is SO true, that kind of advice is not unusual when it clearly doesn't help.
"Just finished watching a show, Oh No!, Yellow boot on my feet and onnn my car its so incredibly fantastic...C-O-M-A-S-T"
Comast: slang for double penetration?
You should see the clamps inside the van (looking at you with sulty eyes).
It was the only way I could get the repair guy to wait for me....
"Did you try rebooting it?"
Darn it Jim, I told you to send the bandwidth caps policy to the "Information Superhighway Department" not the the "Department of Highways".
I guess they hit their limit for the current billing cycle.
"Are you SURE we can't negotiate the price?"
You can clamp my van, but you'll never clamp, my ladder!
You cap my plan i cap ur van.
Oh! You don't like CAPS?
Awww, that's Comcastic!
Can you drive me now? Oh.
Talk more, pay less, get booted ... Spoken like a true network!
Chicago Politician to Comcast:
"You grease our wheels, we release yours..."
Always dreaming, never stopping....errr....ROTFLOL'ing
Talk More. Pay Less. Walk Now.
"That'll teach 'em to cap our bandwidth!"