Microsoft wants new term for 'netbooks,' unhappy with other 5 choices
By Thomas Ricker 
posted June 3rd 2009 7:24AM
posted June 3rd 2009 7:24AM
Having just wrestled the word "netbook" free from the legal grasp of Psion, Microsoft now wants to change the name of these low-cost slabs of white plastic riding Intel's Atom processor. Oh joy. Apparently unhappy with the choices of netbook, smartbook, MID (NVIDIA's definition, not Intel's), thin-and-light, and ultra-portable, Microsoft's preference is, are you ready, "low cost small notebook PC." Man, that flows like a sonnet. The new name proposed by Steven Guggenheimer, general manager of Microsoft's Application Platform & Development Marketing Division, is meant to reflect netbooks that do more than Internet browsing. What Steve-o doesn't say is that by creating a new product division above netbooks, Microsoft can require beefier versions of its Windows OS installed for higher profits on higher margins -- especially now that they've dropped the three application limit from its entry-level Windows 7 Starter Edition. Hey Microsoft, if it's all the same to you, we're just fine with the term netbook thankyouverymuch. Given the near-universal positive press heaped on Windows 7 thus far, you'll be raking in the cash starting October 22nd, no need to shake us down, ok?
NO! Keep your finners out for ONCE. Netbook has such recognition that it's probably too late anyway
Even I can come up with a better one than MS, geez...
How about LiteBook?
Typical Microsoft. One step forward, two steps back. Always reminding us that their customers are the enemy.
I can't wait to install Windows For Low Cost Small Notebook PC™ edition on one of them!
Of course power users might want to upgrade to Windows For Systems That Have Slightly More Advanced Processing Architecture™ edition.
If your desktop is up to it, Microsoft recommend Windows For High Power Multi Core Systems With High Memory Bandwidth And Graphical User Interface Designed To Utilize DirectX10.1 Compliant Graphics Accelerated Hardware™ edition.
How about "a brilliant strategy to expand the laptop market by convincing normally intelligent people who already have a computer that they need another." Too wordy I think.
Domingue Rosario Velez Guitierrez Robledo Benitez Salazar-Ramirex Montoya, Microsoft's acting junior adjunct assistant vice president for succinctness, compactness, and accessibility of sales and marketing terminology, nomencalture, and naming conventions, has proposed the term "reduced expenditure compact form factor lighter than average especially portable lap mounted battery powered electonic interactive computational implement" in a recent 2,638 page brief.
Senior business executives much like rock stars are often surrounded by fawning sycophants so they typically have an inflated idea of their influence on the outside world. Years ago IBM always referred to ROM as ROS (Read Only Storage) and refused to use the term motherboard. Apparently some bigwigs at IBM felt these terms were too anthropomorphic; their generation of IBMers was raised on cash registers and adding machines. They could just not get their heads around the concept that machines could think somewhat like humans notwithstanding Turing. Microsoft is just as unlikely to succeed.
@ dave.... brilliant satire, it bothers me that while city governments across the country are laying off employees (police, fire, etc...) left and right due to budget shortfalls during this recession Microsoft apparently still has a department dedicated to grappling with the tough issues, like how to re brand tech that isn't theirs and piss off/ confuse consumers..... why replace the ONE, rather accurately descriptive word (sure they do more than internet but i wont be installing CS4 on an aspire one anytime soon...) with their jumbled amalgamation.....
How about something a bit more fluid, like "affordable ultraportable", or "affordable superportable"?
HaPPI
call em tween-tops.
'smallbook'? 'cheapbook'? 'smallcheapbook'?
or... 'booklet'?
I call mine → linuxmachine ←, how about that M$?
Nah...the term's too small, make it a bit bigger.